Do you let your 9th grade daughters go on "dates"?

[Anonymous]

I have one, one, parent friend irl that prohibits their high schoolers from dating. Ironically it is because they weren’t allowed to date in hs and got into a lot of shenanigans behind their parents backs.
To each their own, but I’d much rather build an open, trusting relationship with my teens.

[Anonymous]

What goes on at some of the group get togethers?

[Anonymous]

DD seems to have decided that she'll wait until her Sophomore year to date. She thinks that the transition to HS is enough to deal with during freshman year, and it's better to wait a little to date since everyone is going to be a bit more mature.

As for the PP who said "What are we preparing them for if not to be in relationship?", we are preparing them for life, of which romantic relationships are a part, but not the whole. Education, career, and financial stability, are IMO, at least important, if not more. I don't think there is any harm in waiting to date, if the child does not feel ready, or is not interested. If they are interested, then it is important for parents to talk about physical and psychological entanglements, healthy relationships, boundaries, how breakups can affect other parts of their life, etc. before they start dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What goes on at some of the group get togethers?

I guarantee some parents would be shocked. I’ve heard some crazy stories.

[Anonymous]

My 15-year-old freshman daughter doesn't date yet. I'm not totally opposed but I'd rather her focus on school, sports and friends. She has her entire adult life for dating. I wasn't really dating at that age, either. I was focused on friends, sports and getting into college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just found out my daughter helped her friend essentially lie to her parents about having a "date" for homecoming -- she had to hide it and didn't even show up with the poor guy - snuck over there to do photos but then back to the all-girls pre-party.

We are new to this school and I'm pretty surprised. To be honest I wish my daughter had had a date for homecoming instead of going with a big group of girls! Is this typical in this area to not allow 15 or 16 year old girls to date or do things one-on-one with a boy? Maybe I need to reevaluate what I'm letting my daughter do!

I think it’s fine for 9th graders to date. That being said I think you should examine why it’s your preference that your daughter had a date for Homecoming vs going with a group of friends. What kind of message does that send to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1188996.page

And yes, it seems like in this area dating younger is very taboo. I'm completely fine with it for a lot of reasons. I'd say a third of DD's friends have dating experience, but she's not "popular" so it seems like that goes up the more popular you are.

To be fair you asked how do 13 year olds “make time for dating in their busy schedules.” It’s one thing to think it’s fine for 13 year old dates quite another to have it on the list of priorities like school, sports, friend and family.

[Anonymous]

Good luck with your dating 13 year olds! Lol.

[Anonymous]

Depends what you mean by “ date” ? My high school freshman was invited to a dance by a friend and then reciprocated by inviting her to the movies during the daytime. I don’t see any issues with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys can never just be friends with girls - they always want more.

This is not true. How do I know? Well, let’s just say that there were times when I wished you were correct. Sadly, the guys had no interest in getting physical.

They were gay the whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15-year-old freshman daughter doesn't date yet. I'm not totally opposed but I'd rather her focus on school, sports and friends. She has her entire adult life for dating. I wasn't really dating at that age, either. I was focused on friends, sports and getting into college.

A freshman focused on college is insane

[Anonymous]

Breed put your freshman daughter on birth control pills before she starts dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breed put your freshman daughter on birth control pills before she starts dating.

Unless you are ready to be a grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15-year-old freshman daughter doesn't date yet. I'm not totally opposed but I'd rather her focus on school, sports and friends. She has her entire adult life for dating. I wasn't really dating at that age, either. I was focused on friends, sports and getting into college.

A freshman focused on college is insane

Is that a foreign concept to you? Plenty of kids are focused on getting into a good college. I say, Bravo! No need to let some loser boy distract you from what’s important.

[Anonymous]

Just say no to dating. There is no benefit and it comes with great danger.