Do you let your 9th grade daughters go on "dates"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

+1

Do neither of you understand?

[Anonymous]

This is pretty common, OP. Both the rule and the sneaking to get around the rule.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I allow it. So far the dates have been to a dance (I dropped DD off and picked her up) and to a coffee shop right after school.

It would be a little different if she was hanging out at a boyfriend's house after the dance. I haven't had to confront that issue yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

Stop being deliberately obtuse.

I can tell you from personal experience that chubby, below-average-looking girls have sex too.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't allowed so snuck around much like her friend. I didn't want that for my kids so we allow it. We've also had very open conversations about relationships and what comes with them. As a freshman, DD has no interest in dating yet. My 16 year old son has a girlfriend but their dates are pretty much group outings, an occasional solo date, or hanging out at our house eating take out and watching movies.

[Anonymous]

Date to homecoming in a group? Fine. One on one dating, forming a close bond, leading to sex? Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

Stop being deliberately obtuse.

I can tell you from personal experience that chubby, below-average-looking girls have sex too.

And many attractive and thin girls don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Date to homecoming in a group? Fine. One on one dating, forming a close bond, leading to sex? Nope.

Many teens are sexting, doing things on FaceTime, sending pics on snap, and also have oral, anal, and vaginal sex without close bonds or relationships. Many parents think their kids aren't dating so they aren't doing anything and that could not be more further than the truth.

[Anonymous]

I remember all the girls that would change in the bathrooms to clothes their parents didn't approve.

All the girls and guys that would go to after school clubs or sporting events so they could see their bf/gf

I just would never be that parent that forbid things. I don't get it. A homecoming dance at 9th grade is something that should be allowed. Parents that push this much will always get push back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date to homecoming in a group? Fine. One on one dating, forming a close bond, leading to sex? Nope.

Many teens are sexting, doing things on FaceTime, sending pics on snap, and also have oral, anal, and vaginal sex without close bonds or relationships. Many parents think their kids aren't dating so they aren't doing anything and that could not be more further than the truth.

Not mine thankfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date to homecoming in a group? Fine. One on one dating, forming a close bond, leading to sex? Nope.

Many teens are sexting, doing things on FaceTime, sending pics on snap, and also have oral, anal, and vaginal sex without close bonds or relationships. Many parents think their kids aren't dating so they aren't doing anything and that could not be more further than the truth.

Not mine thankfully.

mhm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date to homecoming in a group? Fine. One on one dating, forming a close bond, leading to sex? Nope.

Many teens are sexting, doing things on FaceTime, sending pics on snap, and also have oral, anal, and vaginal sex without close bonds or relationships. Many parents think their kids aren't dating so they aren't doing anything and that could not be more further than the truth.

Not mine thankfully.

+11

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

You don't think whether or not a girl is attractive and thin effects whether she has the opportunity to date? This was not in reference to would the PP let her girls date. She is just explaining that they are not and giving some context to their situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is a 16 yr old in 9th grade? I'd let a 16 yr old date. I would let a 9th grader go to a dance with a date, but not let a 9th grader date.

OP here. Yeah, sorry, bad math. I guess it is 14 and 15 year olds in 9th grade. My daughter turned 15 in the fall.