Do you let your 9th grade daughters go on "dates"?

[Anonymous]

I just found out my daughter helped her friend essentially lie to her parents about having a "date" for homecoming -- she had to hide it and didn't even show up with the poor guy - snuck over there to do photos but then back to the all-girls pre-party.

We are new to this school and I'm pretty surprised. To be honest I wish my daughter had had a date for homecoming instead of going with a big group of girls! Is this typical in this area to not allow 15 or 16 year old girls to date or do things one-on-one with a boy? Maybe I need to reevaluate what I'm letting my daughter do!

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP of this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1188996.page

And yes, it seems like in this area dating younger is very taboo. I'm completely fine with it for a lot of reasons. I'd say a third of DD's friends have dating experience, but she's not "popular" so it seems like that goes up the more popular you are.

[Anonymous]

My DD is a 9th grader and recently turned 15. As far as I know, all of her friends are allowed to date and some have boyfriends. I wouldn’t take the population that comments on DCUM as a totally accurate representation of this area.

[Anonymous]

My dd is in 9th grade and not allowed to date. She can hang out in group settings with friends, including a “boyfriend” but we do not allow 1 on 1 time. Too young. And she’s busy which helps. Why would I let her get all tangled up in those complexities. She’s got time.

[Anonymous]

My 15yo freshman daughter is dating. She had 2 brief relationships in 8th grade and is a few months into her first “real” relationship (her description).
She only had one other friend who is dating and isn’t aware of a lot of other freshman couples at her school.
This seems pretty typical to what I remember at 15.

[Anonymous]

I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

[Anonymous]

My freshman DD is not allowed to date. Maybe next year. most of her friends are not dating yet either (not sure if they are allowed to or not- have not asked)

[Anonymous]

Why is a 16 yr old in 9th grade? I'd let a 16 yr old date. I would let a 9th grader go to a dance with a date, but not let a 9th grader date.

[Anonymous]

We do not allow this. Freshman year is too young!

[Anonymous]

In ninth, what’s wrong going to one dance or one movie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is a 16 yr old in 9th grade? I'd let a 16 yr old date. I would let a 9th grader go to a dance with a date, but not let a 9th grader date.

Same. Going together to a dance would be fine, but no, my freshman dd would not be allowed to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

[Anonymous]

I'd be fine with my DD having a date to a school dance where they end up in a big crowd of other kids, but not 1:1 dating. I think kids should focus on friendships at 15 and not tie themselves down to one person. Group activities are more appropriate than 1:1 dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would allow either of my daughters to date. They are 17 and 15, attractive and thin, not into makeup, and not in friend circles that would be considered “popular”
Neither is interested in dating. And they don’t seem to be turning down any offers. It’s certainly different from when I was in high school when it seemed like a central component of every conversation was discussing who was dating whom and how to get some boy to ask you out.

I wouldn’t object to either of them going on a date, but theur high school days definitely seem to come with less drama.

What does this have to do with the question? How odd.

Stop being deliberately obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd is in 9th grade and not allowed to date. She can hang out in group settings with friends, including a “boyfriend” but we do not allow 1 on 1 time. Too young. And she’s busy which helps. Why would I let her get all tangled up in those complexities. She’s got time.

NP. My DD is still 12, but this will be our rule too.