Bad behavior in K

[Anonymous]

My child's K class has 2 troublemakers. They don't appear to be targeting my child alone, but they have spit at him, tackled him and hit him, and pulled off his shoes (not all at once, but these are several incidents that have taken place since the first day of school). Remarkably, my child doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, meaning, he's not afraid of these kids, he still enjoys K and looks forward to going. He's been in day care and full-day preschool his whole life, so he's used to being around other kids.

I've spoken to the teacher and I've also seen her talk to the parents of the kids about their behavior.

Not much else I can do, right? Is there any point to continuing to let the teacher know about ongoing incidents?

BTW-- This is in a JKLM school, not that this matters. Class size is a managable 23 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child's K class has 2 troublemakers. They don't appear to be targeting my child alone, but they have spit at him, tackled him and hit him, and pulled off his shoes (not all at once, but these are several incidents that have taken place since the first day of school). Remarkably, my child doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, meaning, he's not afraid of these kids, he still enjoys K and looks forward to going. He's been in day care and full-day preschool his whole life, so he's used to being around other kids.

I've spoken to the teacher and I've also seen her talk to the parents of the kids about their behavior.

Not much else I can do, right? Is there any point to continuing to let the teacher know about ongoing incidents?

BTW-- This is in a JKLM school, not that this matters. Class size is a managable 23 kids.

But... but but but but... these schools are perfect!

[Anonymous]

This is way to much to accept, OP.
I work in a NW school that, according to this board, is not up to JKLM standards and I can assure you that, at our school, these behaviors would be very swiftly dealt with and stopped. No question.
There are always two adults with the kindergarteners (teacher and Instructional asst) and once a kid acts that far out of line, they are watched very closely and helped to change their behavior to make appropriate choices. End of story.

[Anonymous]

If this is happening routinely, it's called bullying, and needs to cease. Stop rationalizing it and go out there and protect your child. Contact the teacher again, move up the food chain as necessary, and if all else fails, retain legal counsel and/or contact law enforcement.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If this is happening routinely, it's called bullying, and needs to cease. Stop rationalizing it and go out there and protect your child. Contact the teacher again, move up the food chain as necessary, and if all else fails, retain legal counsel and/or contact law enforcement.

Oh, yes, OP, do just this. Next week, by all means. I mean, here we are two weeks into the K year. You need to start throwing your weight around. By all means, retail legal counsel and call the cops immediately. After all, you want to make a splash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

Definitely follow up with teachers and admin, daily if needed, until resolved. If the kids are OOB they could be sent to their IB for this sort of behavior, IIUC. If IB, then it's different, but the school could do more to address this.

[Anonymous]

1. Yes, do continue to let the teacher know about each incident. Don't be dramatic about it, just convey the information. The teacher might need to convey it to the parents or the administration (to push for special services if needed, etc).

2. Not to nitpick but try to refrain from calling any kindergartener a label (troublemaker). At age five, children are just children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

It doesn't matter -- from your perspective -- who did it. Just tell the teacher that your child is reporting that he was hit/kicked/whatever and you'd like to talk to her about how your child can be kept safe. The teacher isn't going to discuss other kids with you.

[Anonymous]

OK, thanks. Does it matter if the teacher is addressing (or trying to address) the issues in the classroom? Based on what my child says, the kids have gotten time-outs immediately. So the teachers are aware. Not sure if it's worthwhile to shoot over emails every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Yes, do continue to let the teacher know about each incident. Don't be dramatic about it, just convey the information. The teacher might need to convey it to the parents or the administration (to push for special services if needed, etc).

2. Not to nitpick but try to refrain from calling any kindergartener a label (troublemaker). At age five, children are just children.

Eh, some kids are just assholes.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

Definitely follow up with teachers and admin, daily if needed, until resolved. If the kids are OOB they could be sent to their IB for this sort of behavior, IIUC. If IB, then it's different, but the school could do more to address this.

Why don't you just come right out and say what you mean: those children from OOB should not be there in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

21:23 again. My child's K teacher could often fill in at least part of an incomplete or questionable story. I told her what my child told me as clearly as I could and she triangulated. Several times I was surprised at how mixed up the stories came out from my child and other classmates (it was just like the telephone game). The teacher teased out some of the confusion. Of course this is more easily done halfway through the year rather than week two, but it'll come clearer with time.

[Anonymous]

Op here-- I do think that at 5, kids should have sufficient self control not to engage in these types of behaviors. I've lived through the preschool years of 2-3 year olds who bite, spit, push etc because they don't have the words to express frustration, working on self control etc. Plus, those were generally "arguments" over toys, balls, whatever. By 4, there was much less of that behavior at my child's preschool.

I was surprised to see this happen in K very early on. And, in my child's telling, they were unprovoked. So it's not like they were having a disagreement over some issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. The problem I am having is getting accurate info from my child. It's hard to get him to tell me what kids did it.

Definitely follow up with teachers and admin, daily if needed, until resolved. If the kids are OOB they could be sent to their IB for this sort of behavior, IIUC. If IB, then it's different, but the school could do more to address this.

That's right! Get those OOB kids out of there ASAP!!!