Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?
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Anonymous
True, you could always go with a shady adoption agency abroad and depending on whether the check clears they could care less if you're 60. However, I think PP was referring to reputable adoption agencies . |
Anonymous
I know this comment is 8 months old, but thought it still important to respond. PP, I'm sorry that you have such a sickly line; I can see why you are so cautious about having children young. Do a lot of your family die young? My family is particularly long lived. My parents are quite healthy at 90 and 84. Most of my aunts and uncles (my parents were each one of 9) lived well into their 80s. My mother still works at 84 because she wants to and loves what she does. They still have a positive cash flow and have a very large net worth. They already have their estate in quite good order and have more than enough to pay for in home elder care for themselves without costing us kids anything. Even if they have in home elder care for 10+ years, there will still be a reasonable estate left to us, but all of us are well educated, have good jobs and have our own safety nets so we don't need the inheritance. My MIL is still healthy and traveling extensively at 85 and her sister is going strong at 88, driving herself around the country doing her genealogy work. My FIL passed away from a heart condition, but my spouse does not have any heart issues nor do our children. We married late and had children late. But we are quite healthy and have a history of longevity. Since I know several folks from less healthy families that died in their 50s from health issues, I would say that your comments are misplaced. Maybe those who have healthy family lines should be free to procreate and those who come from families with health issues should not. That would be more appropriate than trying to arbitrarily impose some limitation of age at 60 just because your family does not age well. |
Anonymous
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A business contacts's wife was diagnosed with cancer in Jan. and died 6 weeks later. She was in her 30s, and they had two teen age children.
Life doesn't guarantee you anything. I have seen women who had kids in their 20s and played stay-at-home mommies, and struggle to put food on the table, and I have seen women who had kids in their 40s and had fabulous careers which provided a broad range of opportunity. No one is guaranteed a life, you can die the moment you give birth at 20. |
Anonymous
| Nah. I had my second at 44. |
Anonymous
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Apparently not:
http://www.foxla.com/news/241912576-story (64 year old mom gives birth to twins) |
Anonymous
According to the news article, this woman last gave birth to a baby girl when she was 58 but lost custody of the little girl when she was found to be neglectful. Now she's had twins. Why? |
Anonymous
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Bonus Baby one week before I turned 44. Definitely not planned and I can't even pretend I was happy about it. At all. Physically, the pregnancy was much more demanding, though delivery was not an issue. Day-to-day would have been easier if I didn't have three other kids to take care of.
I'm 52 now and DC is 8. I am really slowing down, but that's a different health thing. If you are in a good place physically & financially now, I do not think 41 is too old at all. Life is a gamble on so many fronts, and the stuff that gets you is almost always the stuff you didn't even see coming. Even though so much has been a struggle, and will continue to be, DC is the best surprise I never asked for. Would not go back to change anything. |
Anonymous
I had my only DC at 41. Best thing ever, DH and I feel very lucky, didn't know this kind of love. |
Anonymous
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It depends. My mother had my youngest sister at 42. Sister is in college. My mother had a heart attack and triple bypass 6 months ago and could not work. Poor sister is mostly affected financially because of this. She will fend for herself just like the rest of us. And my parents are very poor.
My MIL had my DH's youngest brother at 43. He graduated last year and now works in IT. She traveled the world and is also a tenured professor. She helps us with our baby, her grandchild. |
Anonymous
| My parents had me when they were 45; they are now 85. I never felt they were “old” parents. On the contrary, they have always been (luckily) healthy and active. I felt they were comfortable in themselves, their relationship, and their finances which made for a happy and supportive childhood. |
Anonymous
| I will have my third one month before 45. Had my second at 42 and never thought I was too old for that. |
Anonymous
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My friend and his wife have three kids. 7, 3 and newborn
He is 55 wife 45 so what. His dad babysits and he is 84. 41 is a spring chicken. |
Anonymous
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Op started this thread in 2013. This thread is 5 years old so Op is now 46.
Op, if you're out there: Did you wind up having another baby? |
Anonymous
His 84 year old dad babysits a newborn? |
Anonymous
Yep and my 87 year old uncle takes his grandkids trick or treating |