Honestly: is 41 too old to have a baby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things pick up for you. Cherish the child you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things pick up for you. Cherish the child you have.

See you in the next life. Miss you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things pick up for you. Cherish the child you have.

See you in the next life. Miss you[u].

WTH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ultimately chose not to because my marriage has been on the rocks. I regret not having more children and I regret my situation and I believe I made the best choice given the circumstances. I am now 43 and cannot imagine having even more responsibilities than I already do. However, if my marriage were solid and my spouse employed and mentally stable I would have had another.

In my next life I will start having children at age 25 and I will have 4 of them. I will also pick someone to partner with based on who they are and not who they have the potential to be.

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope things pick up for you. Cherish the child you have.

See you in the next life. Miss you[u].

WTH?

Maybe they had been drinking...

[Anonymous]

The only question you need to ask, OP, is "Is 41 too old FOR ME to have a baby?" Take stock of your life. How's your energy? Finances? Do you have room in your life for this kind of responsibility? Will you be able to do what you want to in life with this child? Will you be able to give that much of yourself at this stage?

You can't poll on something like this. A purse? Sure. A vacation spot? Sure. But, bringing a child into your world is a very specific calculation. Only you know all of the variables at play.

Good luck making your decision.

---Mom at 38 and 40

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The only question you need to ask, OP, is "Is 41 too old FOR ME to have a baby?" Take stock of your life. How's your energy? Finances? Do you have room in your life for this kind of responsibility? Will you be able to do what you want to in life with this child? Will you be able to give that much of yourself at this stage?

You can't poll on something like this. A purse? Sure. A vacation spot? Sure. But, bringing a child into your world is a very specific calculation. Only you know all of the variables at play.

Good luck making your decision.

---Mom at 38 and 40

you people who don't read the thread - OP has come back, updated, 2-3 years since she first wrote the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Selfish...you'll be gone by the time your kids have kids.

Troll.

You'll be a few years older; there's no reason to expect that you'll be gone.

But even if you are, how is that selfish? Are people not supposed to have kids unless they can be physically strong enough to raise their grandchildren?

It's parents' job to raise their kids. Not grandparents'.

[Anonymous]

Too old.

[Anonymous]

Grandchildren are better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandchildren are better.

I became a Grammy at 48. It's so much fun!!!

[Anonymous]

I think 41 is too old.

(This reply in memory of Harambe.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes 41 is too old to have a baby if you are actually thinking about the child and not your own selfish desires. You'll be nearly 60 when that child reaches adulthood. You made the choice to put off having children for whatever reasons (career, traveling, enjoying your life, whatever) and by having a child at 41 you deny your own child that choice. Like it or not, if you have a kid that late, you are dooming them to have to take your care into consideration when they make life choices they should be able to make freely.

Nope. Not all of us are on our last leg at 60.

[Anonymous]

Are there more dangers in having a first baby at 41?

[Anonymous]

It is so personal. If you told me you had a baby at 41, I wouldn't bat an eye. But of course you will be aware of any increased risks with pregnancy and plan accordingly.

[Anonymous]

yes