Sexless Marriages- What if its just simply a lack of attraction?
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Anonymous
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Sexless marriages are such a common topic on this forum and everybody chimes in with their 2 cents worth of advice. What no one ever touches on is lack of attraction. What if one spouse is simply no longer physically attracted to their mate. Drastic weight gain or deformity aside. What if the sight of him/her no longer gets your motor running? Familiarity or whatever. Perhaps the physical attraction had been lukewarm from the start, and the wear and tear of marriage has diminished things further. What then?
Bear in mind that the marriage itself is ok. There is laughter and minimal discord. There are also kids involved. |
Anonymous
| Yes, but even a lack of attraction seems to mean that there is something even deeper than that going on. |
Anonymous
| Attraction or no attraction, sex is still awesome. |
Anonymous
| Work on it. I think attraction can be cultivated. |
Anonymous
| I'm not really attracted to my DH anymore because of his beer gut. I still have sex with him. |
Anonymous
Really? How? Not sure physical attraction can be "worked" on. |
Anonymous
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You can make yourself more physically attractive up to a point:
- If you're out of shape or overweight, get in shape/lose weight. - If you know your spouse has particular issues with lack of grooming, fix those - Make an effort to dress in ways you know your spouse finds attractive; be more "put together." - Be more respectful/kind to your spouse. There are no magic bullets, though. There may be other reasons your spouse is not attracted to you (or you aren't attracted to them). That's where communication comes into play. Unless they're banging someone else. That could definitely explain it. |
Anonymous
Do you enjoy it? |
Anonymous
I do. Go on dates, romance each other, treat each other with kindness, put effort into appearance. Approach each interaction with positivity and love. A couple can actively work on cultivating a deeper physical attraction/connection if they want to. Are you a guy? I think this is harder for men than women but it can still be done if you want to do it. |
Anonymous
| Do more chores. Like Colt .45, it works every time. |
Anonymous
| I think the "new" wears off of the man because he is now her husband so she doesn't get excited about having sex with him. They simply want some strange... |
Anonymous
Yes. An orgasm is an orgasm. I'd prefer no beer gut, but I just don't look at it. I'm in better shape than him, but certainly have room for improvement. I'm sure he'd love it if my body were tighter. |
Anonymous
How can physical attraction be cultivated? |
Anonymous
I actually think there's a lot to this. Also, in many cases I think they wax nostalgic about ex-boyfriends and fantasize about them and boring old hubby starts looking worse and worse in comparison to the idealized version of the ex. |
Anonymous
I already responded to this but: Go on dates, romance each other, treat each other with kindness, put effort into appearance. Approach each interaction with positivity and love. A couple can actively work on cultivating a deeper physical attraction/connection if they want to. Are you a guy? I think this is harder for men than women but it can still be done if you want to do it. |