Sexless Marriages- What if its just simply a lack of attraction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

[Anonymous]

Science.

Better baby batter when it's new.

http://www.askmen.com/news/sports/men-orgasm-faster-and-produce-better-sperm-when-they-have-sex-with-someone-new.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Science.

Better baby batter when it's new.

http://www.askmen.com/news/sports/men-orgasm-faster-and-produce-better-sperm-when-they-have-sex-with-someone-new.html

If AskMen wrote it then it must be true! Thanks Science guy!

[Anonymous]

The study was published in a journal, dummy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The study was published in a journal, dummy.

Journals also post theories and experiments, not necessarily hard truths. But I'm sure you already knew that.

[Anonymous]

I am trying so hard to be attracted to DH. He lied to me about his relationship with his secretary and then, there is his drinking problem.
It is going on so long, and I don't care. Obviously he does.

[Anonymous]

I can see how a cheating spouse could make it very very hard to be attracted to them again.

[Anonymous]

A lack of physical attraction is paramount to each and every marriage.

Otherwise, how the heck would you know a lover from a friend?

If I meet a guy and cannot imagine sleeping with him, then all bets are off. Without sexual attraction, there would be no relationship.

The people who say physical attraction is not important in a relationship are usually those who themselves are not attracted to their own S/Os.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

Maybe I will at some point, but it seems so risky. Once it's out there and he says no, it's always going to be the elephant in the room. Sometimes I think I'm just not normal. I honestly would not care if DH slept with someone else. I don't equate sex with love, it's more like a sports activity to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

Maybe I will at some point, but it seems so risky. Once it's out there and he says no, it's always going to be the elephant in the room. Sometimes I think I'm just not normal. I honestly would not care if DH slept with someone else. I don't equate sex with love, it's more like a sports activity to me.

I am a man and feel the same way. I would be totally cool with DW having sex with someone else (assuming I could as well). Too bad us like minded folks couldn't have married in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

Maybe I will at some point, but it seems so risky. Once it's out there and he says no, it's always going to be the elephant in the room. Sometimes I think I'm just not normal. I honestly would not care if DH slept with someone else. I don't equate sex with love, it's more like a sports activity to me.

I am a man and feel the same way. I would be totally cool with DW having sex with someone else (assuming I could as well). Too bad us like minded folks couldn't have married in the first place.

Does anyone know of a movie where this situation is the theme? Maybe I'll suggest we watch it, and we'll see where the conversation goes. For all I know, you're my DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

Maybe I will at some point, but it seems so risky. Once it's out there and he says no, it's always going to be the elephant in the room. Sometimes I think I'm just not normal. I honestly would not care if DH slept with someone else. I don't equate sex with love, it's more like a sports activity to me.

I am a man and feel the same way. I would be totally cool with DW having sex with someone else (assuming I could as well). Too bad us like minded folks couldn't have married in the first place.

Does anyone know of a movie where this situation is the theme? Maybe I'll suggest we watch it, and we'll see where the conversation goes. For all I know, you're my DH.

Do you ever talk about fantasies with each other? Seems like a pretty good way to gauge his interest without just asking up front if you can have an open marriage. Fantasies that involve threesomes or swapping with other couples pretty much imply having sex outside your marriage in a consensual arrangement.

[Anonymous]

MY DH is great but terrible in bed. He let himself go too. I am dying to have wild sex with a confident man as I did before I met him. But now I just fake it so I won't hurt his feelings. I would Never break up my marriage over this. He just isn't an alpha and that's what I am attracted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY DH is great but terrible in bed. He let himself go too. I am dying to have wild sex with a confident man as I did before I met him. But now I just fake it so I won't hurt his feelings. I would Never break up my marriage over this. He just isn't an alpha and that's what I am attracted to.

Have you told him what you want in bed? Have you told him that "letting himself go" has affected your attraction to him? Have you told him you want an "Alpha" in bed? If he knows you aren't going to flip a biscuit for trying it, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he'd be thrilled to pull your hair, slap your ass, choke you or whatever it is that gets your freak going. I'm guessing you don't want an Alpha husband, though. You probably don't want him ordering you around all the time. You can either cheat with some "Alpha" douchebag or you can actually, you know, communicate with your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would love to have an open marriage with DH. How do you even start talking about that?

But you would find a partner in about 25 seconds. Why do you want an open marriage? Bringing it up will make him believe he is a failure in bed and on the road to divorce.

Variety would be nice after 15 years. I'm not going to ask him, so the very reason you say not to. Too chicken.

I would bring it up in a joking manner. Bet you there are friends of yours in open marriages where you would never even imagine.

Maybe I will at some point, but it seems so risky. Once it's out there and he says no, it's always going to be the elephant in the room. Sometimes I think I'm just not normal. I honestly would not care if DH slept with someone else. I don't equate sex with love, it's more like a sports activity to me.

I am a man and feel the same way. I would be totally cool with DW having sex with someone else (assuming I could as well). Too bad us like minded folks couldn't have married in the first place.

Does anyone know of a movie where this situation is the theme? Maybe I'll suggest we watch it, and we'll see where the conversation goes. For all I know, you're my DH.

Do you ever talk about fantasies with each other? Seems like a pretty good way to gauge his interest without just asking up front if you can have an open marriage. Fantasies that involve threesomes or swapping with other couples pretty much imply having sex outside your marriage in a consensual arrangement.

We do talk fantasies, but it never involves a threesome or swapping. Maybe I can work that in somehow.