Sexless Marriages- What if its just simply a lack of attraction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DH is great but terrible in bed. He let himself go too. I am dying to have wild sex with a confident man as I did before I met him. But now I just fake it so I won't hurt his feelings. I would Never break up my marriage over this. He just isn't an alpha and that's what I am attracted to.

Have you told him what you want in bed? Have you told him that "letting himself go" has affected your attraction to him? Have you told him you want an "Alpha" in bed? If he knows you aren't going to flip a biscuit for trying it, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he'd be thrilled to pull your hair, slap your ass, choke you or whatever it is that gets your freak going. I'm guessing you don't want an Alpha husband, though. You probably don't want him ordering you around all the time. You can either cheat with some "Alpha" douchebag or you can actually, you know, communicate with your DH.

The things that make a good husband tend to be inconsistent with the things that women find sexually desirable. That's why you see a lot of young women, when they're prettiest and have the most options, messing around with the bad boys. Then, when they get older, they move away from the bad boys, pick a dependable guy to marry, and then stop having as much sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Work on it. I think attraction can be cultivated.

Really? How? Not sure physical attraction can be "worked" on.

Alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the "new" wears off of the man because he is now her husband so she doesn't get excited about having sex with him. They simply want some strange...

I actually think there's a lot to this. Also, in many cases I think they wax nostalgic about ex-boyfriends and fantasize about them and boring old hubby starts looking worse and worse in comparison to the idealized version of the ex.

A lot of the qualities that make for the best husbands (e.g. loyalty, dependability, devotion) detract from sexual excitement.

I agree. Maybe try role playing?