Baby is heading to daycare- how can I help my wife cope?
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Anonymous
| We are getting ready to send our infant to daycare next month. How can I help my wife cope with the transition? |
Anonymous
| Hire a nanny... |
Anonymous
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What are your wife's concerns?
Having you do drop off at first might help, especially if you think the baby will cry when you leave. |
Anonymous
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Tell her you all are working on your child's college and to make a better way for dc. You are also contributing to your retirement as to take the burden off of your child later in life.
He /she will thank you both! |
Anonymous
| Help with things in the evening/morning to give her more time with the baby. DH would make dinner while I nursed, wash pump parts, pack the daycare bag. It was a really rough transition for me and I appreciated that DH would take over the housekeeping stuff. |
Anonymous
| Earn more so she can stay home. |
Anonymous
Ugh. NOT HELPFUL. Do the drop off by yourself if you can for the first few days. Remind her that the baby will be fine - it will be harder on her, but the baby will be ok. Tell her he will love watching other babies, and have new toys. My DS now loves going to see his friends (he is now 2.5), and has learned SO MUCH. Hug her and let her cry. |
Anonymous
Go away. |
Anonymous
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Is she going back to work?
The first week I went back to work, DH stayed home with DS. I worked about 5-6 hours each day instead of 8. That way I knew I could be away from him and figured out how to pump at work, and just be a new working mom, while he was still with daddy. When we dropped him off at daycare the first day (we both went), he smiled and was happy, so i knew he'd be ok. Agree with what PP said. I would nurse DS to sleep and while I did that, DH would wash pump parts and dry them and I then filled them with milk afterwards. Just be super supportive, which it sounds like you might be already, since you are inquiring about her health. Also, whoever drops off at daycare sends a picture so we both see the little guy each day and know that he got to daycare ok (also we don't drive but it kind of helps with the whole, leaving the baby in the car by accident thing). We've been doing that for 2 yrs already 
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Anonymous
RUDE. And not every mom wants to stay home. |
Anonymous
I like this idea! |
Anonymous
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That is so sweet of you for asking! If she's pumping at work...volunteer to take over washing / filling bottles for the next day. She'll still have all of her pump parts to wash and work issues associated with that, but anything to help facilitate pumping at work (which was/is my biggest hurdle) will definitely be so much appreciated.
Emotionally, I needed to hear things that helped me rationalize the decision...adding to the 529, providing evidence of a strong female role model (citing that NYT article about daughters of working mothers who earn more), being able to take care of myself during retirement, having the security of a job and current experience if (God Forbid) something happened to DH. |
Anonymous
| If you're handling drop off or pick up, try to be observant about what is going on. We had our child in day care for a while, and I was anxious about it at first. My husband did most of the drop offs and pickups and I always felt like I never really knew what was going on. We got the written report for the day, but I wanted to know what was really going on- what did he play with, was he playing with other kids, did the teachers greet him, etc. I know it's annoying but it helped relieve the anxiety to hear specifics. |
Anonymous
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Have a strong plan in place to make it easier. Now is the time to majorly step up in terms of logistics.
Start a meal plan, including crock pot cooking. Schedule Peapod delivery for every Sat. Start a cleaning schedule (if you can swing a biweekly cleaner get it). Do everything the night before, including shower (you). In the morning, you get dressed, get the baby dressed, and fed while your wife gets dressed (she will likely take longer than you and may need to nurse if you are bottle feeding). Get the cars packed the night before with all daycare stuff. Download Wunderlist or some other app where you and your wife can share to-do lists. Make a weekly schedule to include appointments, etc. Create an account at white house nannies. You'll need it if you both are booked and the kid is sicked out of daycare. |
Anonymous
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Can you transition slowly ....as in the first day or two make it a few hours, then half day, then by the end of the week leave baby the whole day?
Does your day care provider have Web cams? Is it easy to pop in (at least to visually see not neccessarily to hold baby)? |