One of my old friends is getting married in a few weeks. We never got a save the date card, but the invitation arrived just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's on a Friday night when I'm returning to DC from a business trip, and the wedding is in Miami. I am unable to change the trip AND I had mentioned it to her last time I'd seen her because it's a big deal and I'm pretty stressed about it. I send the RSVP card back declining, then sent her an email jokingly asking her why she had to get married on a day I can't attend. She replied back "It was on purpose. Well, I guess this is awkward."
![]() I didn't even reply because I really don't even understand what's going on here. I feel so snubbed. Who schedules a wedding for a day when you know a friend can't attend? I totally understand not being able to schedule it so everyone can attend, but that's not what happened here. Do I write her off as a friend? |
are you sure she was not joking???? |
She's not the joking type. Like, to a fault. |
She's not a friend at all. Her comment was RUDE and AWKWARD. |
This is NOT a friend. |
Does she have aspergers? That is SUCH an awkward situation that I can't imagine it's not a joke.
*It's not awkward that she planned the wedding for a time you can't come, but it IS awkward that she ADMITTED IT. And, it's hella passive-aggressive that she might have planned it for a time you can't attend but then sent you an invite anyway. |
There's a first time for everything. |
Then why would you send a "joke" in the email of you knew she is not the joking type? She probably took what you said to heart. She's right - awkward. |
Wait, so she has to plan her entire wedding around a day that works best for you!? You sent an immature email and you deserved the pissed if email she sent back. You weren't shunned. Perhaps her families schedule and her schedule were more important. This is not about you. Self absorbed much? |
Because she knows I am the joking type? |
Bridezilla much? Or just illiterate? |
And she is in a high stress situation and just found out one of her oldest friends can't make her wedding and just had to make a joke out of it ... Stop being tone deaf |
Why would she bother to invite you at all then? |
To be polite? |
So you think that, what, six months to a year ago when she set the date and started planning this wedding, your friend anticipated you would be on a business trip over those days and would be unable to change your flight so that you flew directly to Miami rather than back to DC first, scheduled the wedding to conflict with that trip, sent you an invitation, and then when you told her you couldn't make, decided to tell you that she'd gone through all those machinations to make sure you couldn't be there, rather than just deciding not to invite you at all? Do you realize how insane that sounds? Even if she's not usually the joking type, it is far more likely that she was joking than that she actually planned her whole wedding around excluding you. |