Young daughter pregnant

[Anonymous]

I am crushed and ashamed that my 23 y/o daughter is pregnant. My young, unmarried, "from a Christian home" daughter is pregnant. This is just the worst thing that could have happened. Her mother died when she was young, and I feel like this is all my fault. She's been with her foreign boyfriend for a year and I've met him zero times. My daughter just finished grad school and was supposed to start teaching this fall. Her boyfriend has a nice career. They want to marry. I'm shocked my daughter admitted to planning to have the baby.

[Anonymous]

Do you think only heathens have sex?

You are making this all about you. Consider seeing someone to talk to about your feelings -- you want to move past these limiting thoughts as I'm sure you want to be an involved grandparent, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am crushed and ashamed that my 23 y/o daughter is pregnant. My young, unmarried, "from a Christian home" daughter is pregnant. This is just the worst thing that could have happened. Her mother died when she was young, and I feel like this is all my fault. She's been with her foreign boyfriend for a year and I've met him zero times. My daughter just finished grad school and was supposed to start teaching this fall. Her boyfriend has a nice career. They want to marry. I'm shocked my daughter admitted to planning to have the baby.

This doesn't sound like a tragic scenario. If they both have careers and are committed to each other and the baby, what's the issue?

[Anonymous]

Would it be better if she aborted... coming from a nice Christian home? she's 23. She finished grad school. He's got a job.

Personally, I wouldn't like it if my DD got pregnant at 23, married or not, but it's better than her being 16 and pregnant.

She can still teach. It will just take longer for her to get a job.

On the plus side, they will be young parents, you will be a young grandparent. My DH and I are older parents, and while financially very stable, physically, it's more exhausting, body parts are failing, and my kids are still in ES. Oh vay!

[Anonymous]

This is definitely not the worst thing that has ever happened. They'll be fine. Jobs, marriage, baby. Maybe not the order you would have liked, but oh well. That's life. And she is 23, not 15!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am crushed and ashamed that my 23 y/o daughter is pregnant. My young, unmarried, "from a Christian home" daughter is pregnant. This is just the worst thing that could have happened. Her mother died when she was young, and I feel like this is all my fault. She's been with her foreign boyfriend for a year and I've met him zero times. My daughter just finished grad school and was supposed to start teaching this fall. Her boyfriend has a nice career. They want to marry. I'm shocked my daughter admitted to planning to have the baby.

This doesn't sound like a tragic scenario. If they both have careers and are committed to each other and the baby, what's the issue?

Unmarried, pregnant, Christian family, I suppose...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am crushed and ashamed that my 23 y/o daughter is pregnant. My young, unmarried, "from a Christian home" daughter is pregnant. This is just the worst thing that could have happened. Her mother died when she was young, and I feel like this is all my fault. She's been with her foreign boyfriend for a year and I've met him zero times. My daughter just finished grad school and was supposed to start teaching this fall. Her boyfriend has a nice career. They want to marry. I'm shocked my daughter admitted to planning to have the baby.

WTF is she supposed to do? Abort the baby?

That's a GREAT Christian attitude that you've got there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am crushed and ashamed that my 23 y/o daughter is pregnant. My young, unmarried, "from a Christian home" daughter is pregnant. This is just the worst thing that could have happened. Her mother died when she was young, and I feel like this is all my fault. She's been with her foreign boyfriend for a year and I've met him zero times. My daughter just finished grad school and was supposed to start teaching this fall. Her boyfriend has a nice career. They want to marry. I'm shocked my daughter admitted to planning to have the baby.

This doesn't sound like a tragic scenario. If they both have careers and are committed to each other and the baby, what's the issue?

+1 While I have a personal prejudice that it's good to wait until older, this really doesn't sound like a bad situation. It sounds like this was a planned baby by a committed and financially secure couple. Maybe you could speak with someone at your church and try to find some peace with the situation.

[Anonymous]

I think you're a troll.

Finishing grad school at 23 is quite rare. You basically painted a picture of a perfectly accomplished young woman, and are trying to provoke everyone on DCUM, whom you know to be relatively open-minded.

I had a baby at 25 in grad school, with my foreign husband. We were married at the time, but that was the least important detail!

[Anonymous]

Are you upset that he is foreign and the baby might be dark?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset that he is foreign and the baby might be dark?

I'm upset that the guy maybe using her for citizenship.

[Anonymous]

23 is kind of an optimal time to get pregnant. A wee bit young, but better trying to get pregnant at 23 than 33. Otherwise she might end up like the many grannymommies you see around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset that he is foreign and the baby might be dark?

No. Her mother was foreign. I'm not racist.

[Anonymous]

23 is not that young to get married or pregnant. Be happy your grandbaby wasn't aborted because that's the alternative here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you upset that he is foreign and the baby might be dark?

No. Her mother was foreign. I'm not racist.

Did her mother use you for citizenship?