Single women of dcum: how'd you end up here?

[Anonymous]

What's your story? Why are you still single?

Let's hear.

[Anonymous]

Why do you ask?

I'm not a trained seal, just here for your entertainment.

Why don't you tell YOUR story?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious, too. I have a number of friends and colleagues who are amazing--smart, attractive, fun and kind--and they are single. They are in their early to mid 40s. Not gay, and don't seem to date.

Two of them I've known since high school, and given the guys they dated I wonder if they picked up an std that has sidelined them. The other two just seem like workaholics; I think they might have wasted their youth on building their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious, too. I have a number of friends and colleagues who are amazing--smart, attractive, fun and kind--and they are single. They are in their early to mid 40s. Not gay, and don't seem to date.

Two of them I've known since high school, and given the guys they dated I wonder if they picked up an std that has sidelined them. The other two just seem like workaholics; I think they might have wasted their youth on building their careers.

Overly high expectations when they were in their prime in terms of being marriageable and once they passed that stage, the pickings became a lot more slim. Nothing wrong with setting the bar high in terms of finding a partner but there is an inherent risk in doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious, too. I have a number of friends and colleagues who are amazing--smart, attractive, fun and kind--and they are single. They are in their early to mid 40s. Not gay, and don't seem to date.

Two of them I've known since high school, and given the guys they dated I wonder if they picked up an std that has sidelined them. The other two just seem like workaholics; I think they might have wasted their youth on building their careers.

Overly high expectations when they were in their prime in terms of being marriageable and once they passed that stage, the pickings became a lot more slim. Nothing wrong with setting the bar high in terms of finding a partner but there is an inherent risk in doing so.

I don't think that's the case for the ladies I know. Two of them essentially stopped dating midway through college. I'm sticking with my theory. The other two I've known for 15 years, and they haven't dated at all during that time. They both work super long hours.

[Anonymous]

I tutor kids as a side job. I am almost 40 and don't date because I'm not desirable to men.

[Anonymous]

Are all single women you know unattractive?

I notice the attractive women almost always get married young and are snagged up fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are all single women you know unattractive?

I notice the attractive women almost always get married young and are snagged up fast.

No - a very attractive friend always had boyfriends and still does. Probably had too many boyfriends and couldn't make up her mind. The men she dated probably didn't want to settle down with a serial dater.

[Anonymous]

The three people that I know who never married dated way too many men.

[Anonymous]

i found the site while on maternity leave in my 20s. finally left my codependent relationship about 6-8 months later before we married and brought more kids into the union. early 30s now and while i've dated, this is the first year i've felt ready to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Are you asking why these women are still single?

Or are you asking why single women are on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Men won't approach me and instead just stare. I can smile and say hi yet it's like they're frozen.

And if I do the approaching, I'm met with men who either talk to the ground (yeah my eyes are up here) or smile and run the other way.

My friends say I'm beautiful (I think I'm ugly) and men are just shy.

[Anonymous]

A combination of bad luck and bad choices, combined with a preference for being alone over forcing a relationship that didn't feel right. It's not ideal and I still hope to meet someone ... but I also dislike the way the question is phrased, suggesting that married folks have it all together and singles do not. We're all on our own journey ... we all have struggles, and so on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A combination of bad luck and bad choices, combined with a preference for being alone over forcing a relationship that didn't feel right. It's not ideal and I still hope to meet someone ... but I also dislike the way the question is phrased, suggesting that married folks have it all together and singles do not. We're all on our own journey ... we all have struggles, and so on.

This times ten. Being married doesn't mean you have arrived.

[Anonymous]

I was single until 32 because I was waiting for marriage to have sex. I stopped dating at 28 because I knew I had no shot.

Now that I'm married, I realize that's not terribly old.