Ask me anything: I am a kept woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, PP here and that typo was totally an error! Should have said, feeding a cocaine addict more *coke*!!! That was totally unintentional.

Anyway, stop enabling an addict. Stop this thread.

Yes yes - stop exposing a phenomenon that actually exists - even if OP is faking it. Drive it back underground.

Return infidelity to a place where we can pretend it only exists in movies or occasionally on forums.

Lets return to our comforting state of denial. Lets pretentious men never do this - or closer to home - that our husbands would never even think of infidelity.

Is that what you are asking PP?

The fact is, healthy marriages take work. It's also a fact that half of all marriages fail. It is not a stretch to conclude that some married people are not putting enough work into their marriages.

Whether you like it or not PP, this thread has given many people pause and food for thought; otherwise it would not have gone on for so many pages.

I disagree. Nothing about this thread makes me reflect on the state of my marriage. Because the bottom line is, everything can be going right in your marriage and your spouse will still cheat. Cheating is a selfish act and while the cheater may find excuses to justify his/her behavior, they are usually lies and/or exaggerations to lessen their guilty conscience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, PP here and that typo was totally an error! Should have said, feeding a cocaine addict more *coke*!!! That was totally unintentional.

Anyway, stop enabling an addict. Stop this thread.

Yes yes - stop exposing a phenomenon that actually exists - even if OP is faking it. Drive it back underground.

Return infidelity to a place where we can pretend it only exists in movies or occasionally on forums.

Lets return to our comforting state of denial. Lets pretentious men never do this - or closer to home - that our husbands would never even think of infidelity.

Is that what you are asking PP?

The fact is, healthy marriages take work. It's also a fact that half of all marriages fail. It is not a stretch to conclude that some married people are not putting enough work into their marriages.

Whether you like it or not PP, this thread has given many people pause and food for thought; otherwise it would not have gone on for so many pages.

What's your story, PP? What's your dog in this fight?

[Anonymous]

No dog in the fight, other than being a married parent who is so saddened by the high divorce rate & what that could mean for my kids someday.

Also saddened by what I see as one of the causes: society today does not seem to value marriage anymore - at least in many cases.

And divorce is hard on children; it's a hardship forced on them even though it is not, in any way, their fault.

[Anonymous]

Do we all think that infidelity --even long term affairs in which there is a clear investment of time, money, and emotions in the AP-- should end the marriage?
There are many cultures in which wives tolerate a mistress precisely because she is a known "evil" vs. an unknown (and therefore, more dangerous) one. An established mistress is one that can be spied on and, to some extent, manipulated in ways that the women a traveling husband might hire for one evening can't be.
I'm not advocating infidelity, but as a childhood survivor of a divorce caused by my father's second family, I am arguing we would have been much better off if Mom had controlled the situation a bit. Instead, Family A (me and my siblings) ended up growing up in inner city poverty and Family B (the half-sibs) were elevated to a cushy life in the suburbs. And yes, I am bitter. My mom preserved her dignity, but at what cost to her children's economic well-being and emotional health?

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP has low self esteem. I would totally let a guy take care of me financially but only if I was the only woman he was involved with. I could never knowingly date a guy in a relationship and be the OW. I would be pissed if my dh was using family money for OW so I look at it from that aspect as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No dog in the fight, other than being a married parent who is so saddened by the high divorce rate & what that could mean for my kids someday.

Also saddened by what I see as one of the causes: society today does not seem to value marriage anymore - at least in many cases.

And divorce is hard on children; it's a hardship forced on them even though it is not, in any way, their fault.

I'm the one asked about the dog in the fight. I was actually asking the person who seemed to be defending the validity of OP's lame BS (IMHO) thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No dog in the fight, other than being a married parent who is so saddened by the high divorce rate & what that could mean for my kids someday.

Also saddened by what I see as one of the causes: society today does not seem to value marriage anymore - at least in many cases.

And divorce is hard on children; it's a hardship forced on them even though it is not, in any way, their fault.

I actually think it is the opposite. With women having more of a choice, they can more easily demand respect and fidelity. I do not think infidelity has probably increased much. It has always been very common -- it's just 1) easier to find out about it now with technology, and 2) women have choices when they do find out about it - they don't have to just suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster.
I have met several kept women in my life. Detached is a very good word to describe them- detached from their own self I would say. Their level of introspection is very low. They just don't get all those "fine matters" such as feelings, emotions, etc- and are not really interested in them. They are very straightforward in their thinking about things. Family is normal if there are no big fights and everyone gets together for holidays. Their life is fine as long as there is enough money, they are healthy, and good looking.
They are fascinating to me, who is very introspective and introverted in the Jungian sense. Seems like they don't complicate things.

Well, it's pretty clear that her family life is not too deep. It's hard to imagine my parents not asking for any details about how I am supporting myself, or at a bare minimum, if I have a job! Very odd.

Is it hard for you to imagine that she just lies to her parents? I mean, from my point of view, she and I are about the same age and I have a job in DC. My parents have come to visit one time, on a Saturday. How would they know whether or not I'm actually going to work? I could just be telling them all about my job and not going to work during the week. This is not very complicated. People lie all the time. She is basically LIVING a lie. What makes you think she wouldn't lie to her parents?

But that's not what she said when asked the question. I'm not going to scroll back through 30 pages to find it, but she said her parents would ask things like, "How are things going?" and she'd say, "Fine" and that was that.

[Anonymous]

OMG, this is still going on? Looks like OP found DCUM's raw nerve...

[Anonymous]

Infidelity happens. Men, women, cheat at similar rates.

And it apparently comes in many forms:

- drunken one time fling
- an ex / old flame comes to town
- spouse travels / deployed
- office mate
- subordinate/intern/student
- unhappy or sexless marriage
- prostitution
- mistress / kept woman

Why does DCUM seem so surprised at this last one?

Anyone realize how many 24 year olds are unemployed and would do anything to not live in their parents basement - including put out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is still going on? Looks like OP found DCUM's raw nerve...

More like every married women's darkest fear or source of paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will you do if you get pregnant? If you get an STD?

I'd abort. I'd get the STD treated.
I know you all think since he'll cheat on his wife with me, he'll cheat on me. You're entitled to your opinion. But I know him and I don't think he's "cheating" on me, and I'm entitled to my opinion too.

According to you, this sex maniac man willingly got engaged and married to a low sex drive wife. Not that long ago, either. You don't see anything at all funny about that?

Can you imagine yourself *marrying* a man who did not need or want sex?

For all you know this guy could be bisexual and he has a male paramour on the side with a similar arrangement to your own. Bottom line is - you don't really know this man at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had affairs with married men without even getting dinner dates, much less a car or apartment, out of it. How did you broach the subject of wanting him to support you, or did he offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, this is still going on? Looks like OP found DCUM's raw nerve...

More like every married women's darkest fear or source of paranoia.

I wouldn't care if my H had a kept woman. One of our issues is his low sex drive. Having someone else might rev it up more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will you do if you get pregnant? If you get an STD?

I'd abort. I'd get the STD treated.
I know you all think since he'll cheat on his wife with me, he'll cheat on me. You're entitled to your opinion. But I know him and I don't think he's "cheating" on me, and I'm entitled to my opinion too.

According to you, this sex maniac man willingly got engaged and married to a low sex drive wife. Not that long ago, either. You don't see anything at all funny about that?

Can you imagine yourself *marrying* a man who did not need or want sex?

For all you know this guy could be bisexual and he has a male paramour on the side with a similar arrangement to your own. Bottom line is - you don't really know this man at all.

NP here who was once in a nearly identical situation as OP. For five years he told me he loved me and that I was the only one he was sleeping with. It turned out that not only was he still occasionally seeing the girlfriend I had "replaced," he was also seeing dommes and tranny prostitutes every chance he got. If someone can hide ten years of intense affairs (think nearly constant contact, multiple visits per week, hundreds of nights away from home) and hundreds of thousands of dollars from their spouse, you better believe that is just the tip of the iceberg.