DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just bought a pack of underwear for myself and two additional packages to give as gifts. Imagine my horror when I opened them and they were torn and dirty! EW! Gross. Disgusting. I went and opened the other two packs and guess what! THE SAME THING. Torn, worn, ripped, and dirty! Hanesbro is packaging USED underwear. I think everyone in this community needs to be aware. They are obviously used! I mean, I know I bought them to use and make dirty myself BUT really, they were sealed. Ugh. So gross, ew.

Now that I take a closer look I see they are made in Japan. Used underwear are HUGE in Japan. HUGE. Ugh, I am so disgusted.

I don't know how you have time to be upset about such a stupid thing as dirty underwear. I wishI had that kind of time on my hands but I am way too busy with more important things to care about something I was GOING TO MAKE DIRTY ANYWAY. That said, I just spent 45 minutes on the phone with Hanesbro doing the dirty work you can't be bothered to do. The underwear you refer to as "Disgusting" is actually brand new. Some thongs got mistakenly boxed up with some Diego underwear before the dye had a change to set. The gentle chugging motion of the tugboat as they were shipped from CHINA (not Japan, you idiot) tied them into some kind of erotic love knot and the dye was tranfered from the Diego underwear to the thongs, causing the "disgusting" brown smear you saw on your underwear. So they are actually BRAND NEW and anyone but a complete hysteric would accept this explanation from Hanewbro. Why don't you get a life, you tool?

What's that word?

[Anonymous]

Say "thank you," bitch! Learn some f-ing manners already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say "thank you," bitch! Learn some f-ing manners already!

Are YOU indoctrinating those manners into your children? I sure hope so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just bought a pack of underwear for myself and two additional packages to give as gifts. Imagine my horror when I opened them and they were torn and dirty! EW! Gross. Disgusting. I went and opened the other two packs and guess what! THE SAME THING. Torn, worn, ripped, and dirty! Hanesbro is packaging USED underwear. I think everyone in this community needs to be aware. They are obviously used! I mean, I know I bought them to use and make dirty myself BUT really, they were sealed. Ugh. So gross, ew.

Now that I take a closer look I see they are made in Japan. Used underwear are HUGE in Japan. HUGE. Ugh, I am so disgusted.

I don't know how you have time to be upset about such a stupid thing as dirty underwear. I wishI had that kind of time on my hands but I am way too busy with more important things to care about something I was GOING TO MAKE DIRTY ANYWAY. That said, I just spent 45 minutes on the phone with Hanesbro doing the dirty work you can't be bothered to do. The underwear you refer to as "Disgusting" is actually brand new. Some thongs got mistakenly boxed up with some Diego underwear before the dye had a change to set. The gentle chugging motion of the tugboat as they were shipped from CHINA (not Japan, you idiot) tied them into some kind of erotic love knot and the dye was tranfered from the Diego underwear to the thongs, causing the "disgusting" brown smear you saw on your underwear. So they are actually BRAND NEW and anyone but a complete hysteric would accept this explanation from Hanewbro. Why don't you get a life, you tool?

What's that word?

Sorry, I was backing my SUV out into the crowded parking lot of Whole Foods while I typed. The word is TRANSFERRED.

[Anonymous]

I have a $10 coupon for J JIll so email me and I'll hand it off -- maybe we can be friends! If you aren't a cunt, we can go out for a cup of coffee and bond over Sephora, women's colleges, yoga and old dogs.

[Anonymous]

Everyone who has contributed to this thread is wickedly funny -- just think of what you could collectively accomplish if you pooled your brilliance and did something with your talents other than posting here or obsessing over the color and texture of your children's BMs.

[Anonymous]

I caught my husband jacking off in the shower. What could this mean?

My husband jacks off next to me in the middle of the night, while I'm sleeping. Apart from the fact that this wakes me up, should I be concerned?

My husband is having phone sex with his ex-girlfriend. I confronted him about it and he says it means nothing. That he just likes to talk that way and I'm not "wired" that way. Do you think he's been less than faithful?

My husband has been pressuring me to swing with other couples. Do you think I may not excite him enough?

How many times is it normal for moms and dads to have sex. What, with all I've got going on, once ever 5.2 months is all I can handle. Do you think that's enough?

My husband routinely stares out of our window with binoculars at our cute, 20-something neighbor. Should I be concerned about this?

I have a nanny cam. Because that's like, the kind of person I am, you know? And on the nanny cam I saw my husband sitting like, way to close to the neighbor he's been stairing at via those binoculars. Should I say something?

My husband told me he's embarrassed by my appearance. How should I handle this?

My husband insists on putting a bag over my head every time he fucks me. Which is only 2x a year. Does this mean he finds me less than attractive?

My husband and I are great friends and we love each other to death. We only have one secret: no sex. Ever. Odd or no?

Just tossing a few things out there.

[Anonymous]

(sigh). Can the poor people just, y'know, quit whining and either pull themselves up by their bootstraps or die already?

[Anonymous]

(1) The public schools should take money away from special needs kids (given that the funding pie is limited) to fund programs for my HG kid.

(2) Anybody who suggests alternative ways of coping with a lack of HG programs is just being "cavalier", "dismissive" and "sneering" (actual quotes) at my precious HG kid.

(3) Nobody else on this board could possibly understand the problems facing the parents of HG kids, because nobody else on this board has HG kids.

[Anonymous]

Wow, none of that was obvious to you already? Then your kids must just be high average, not highly gifted.

[Anonymous]

They just invented a new category of giftedness for my child. "Profoundly gifted" was insufficient to describe his unique talents. We cal him Hal, but you can call him GG (God's Gift).

[Anonymous]

My son is so Highly Gifted (actually labeled SBYHTWS So Bright You Have To Wear Sunglasses) that he goes to a better private school than what you people refer to as the "Top 3". Not only did he graduate from all the top playgroups, but he has never even heard of a tv, was breastfed, coslept, never ate sugar, and I, his mother went to a trilingual prenatal yoga/mathematics class. He came out knowing how to do Calculus in Swahili, a really up-and-coming language in this area. He is even empathic--he recently did a community service project in which he invited average kids from such schools as Norwood & Green Acres to see how he lives. I'm not trying to brag or anything, I mean life can be really tough living with such a gifted child, we're even running out of accolades for him. Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

My highly gifted child went through public school with nary a complaint. He tutored all those special needs kids AND taught the rest of the class how to do origami, macrame, solve Rubiks cube puzzles, and knit. Plus he brought in all his art projects from home and worked on those in the back of the class (only when the rest of the class didn't need his help.)

Thank heavens, after 5 years of receiving almost no teacher instruction whatsoever, he has FINALLY stopped learning so fast. He levelled out and is doing math, reading and science on the same level as the rest of the kids including the LD ones because he taught them so well.

Anyhow, my question: We're really strapped for cash. Do you think he can apply for back pay as an assistant teacher?

[Anonymous]

I've recently taken out a second mortgage so that my daughter could go to classes at Kidville & I was wondering if a Barbados vacation was good for a family of 7 (including the nanny, au pair, postpartum doula (ok, 3 years postpartum) & night nurse) this time of year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My highly gifted child went through public school with nary a complaint. He tutored all those special needs kids AND taught the rest of the class how to do origami, macrame, solve Rubiks cube puzzles, and knit. Plus he brought in all his art projects from home and worked on those in the back of the class (only when the rest of the class didn't need his help.)

Thank heavens, after 5 years of receiving almost no teacher instruction whatsoever, he has FINALLY stopped learning so fast. He levelled out and is doing math, reading and science on the same level as the rest of the kids including the LD ones because he taught them so well.

Anyhow, my question: We're really strapped for cash. Do you think he can apply for back pay as an assistant teacher?

If your kid was really HG, he would have suffered in public school. Your sneering post is an example of the dismissive attitude that parents of non-HG kids have to the rest of us.