Uninvited Guests on vacation
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Anonymous
| My family, including my mother, grandmother, brother, and his family are all going on a week long vacation together. This is the first time in several years my mom has been able to go on vacation and my grandmother is becoming more feeble every year, so we were all looking forward to spending a fun week together. Well, a couple weeks ago, I was asked how I felt about my SIL's parents coming down for a couple of days to hang out with us on this vacation, while staying at a hotel. What could I say, no they can't drive somewhere and do something. I said "they can do what they want to do, I can't tell them not to do something." So, now I hear back that they are coming down on Wednesday and staying until the end of our vacation. I'm upset for myself, my child, and my mother. They will be with us for meals and activities and will completely change the dynamic. My told my brother I'm not happy and it and he said "we asked you." I think he feels bummed about it, too, but doesn't want to hurt his wife's feelings. What say you, DCUM? Am I overreacting or should I just get over it? |
Anonymous
|
Overreacting.
if I was SIL, I would have a hard time spending my family vacation time with ONLY my husbands family. They probably will split apart from you guys a lot - with SIL and her kids hanging out with her family. Don't worry, you will get lots of time with your mom and grandmother without them around. |
Anonymous
And that's why I'm so upset for my mom's sake. This was supposed to be an entire week with her two grandchildren (cousins) and now another set of grandparents will be taking time from her. Also, my child will not get the time with his cousin that he was hoping for. |
Anonymous
Don't you think that sounds a bit selfish? Also, people get sick of each other. It's great they will get a break from you and your mother. I can't imagine spending all day every day of my vacation with my MIL and nephews. No thanks. |
Anonymous
| You are totally overreacting and should get over yourself. |
Anonymous
| I never post anything particular negative on DCUM but I just get the biggest feeling you are a HUGE bitch. Sorry I think this is YOUR issue. |
Anonymous
| You sound really selfish and self-absorbed. How would you feel if the situation were reversed and it was your mom left out and wanting to come? |
Anonymous
| OP here: I hear you. I guess I look at it as, this was one week where my mom could be with her grandchildren, whom she rarely sees. We all booked this vacation together and planned it together and now a new dynamic is coming in. I'll think about it more and try to come around. I don't want to ruin anyone's vacation and want to have fun. |
Anonymous
| OP - I understand what you're saying. It all depends on how well the families get on together. It would work for some and not at all for others. Maybe try to carve out some special time with your mom and kids. |
Anonymous
| It would really bug me if some randos were horning in on my family vacation. Seems pretty selfish of your SIL and her parents. |
Anonymous
OP, I understand your point totally and agree. The best you can do now is be a good hostess. The other grandparents won't be staying with you, so that will provide an opportunity for your Mom and grandmother to have time with the children. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
You are the reason for your problem ~ you didn't say NO |
Anonymous
| I think it's hard to say NO. At the same time I think her brother could have just nipped this in the bud when it was brought up. |
Anonymous
| Are they staying Wed-Fri or Wed- Sun? |