Does your 12 year old "date"

[Anonymous]

My son and his friend are interested in two girls who are friends and would like to ask them to the movies. I don't have a huge issue with this, they are nice girls and our boys are good boys. It does seem young, but curious what others do?

[Anonymous]

Ours did, its pretty common in our school.

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

--parent of a 14 year old who still doesn't allow "dating" group or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

According to my DD a small number of kids at her large middle school "date" but it is not the norm to do so.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Our kids can go to school dances with a "date" starting in 8th grade, but other than that the rule is no dating until you're 16. We're not religious or particularly conservative at all, but I've seen the difference in kids who start dating young and kids who wait until they are more mature to start dating. It makes a huge difference, particularly with girls. It draws the line very clearly for them, so mom/dad get to be the "bad guy" and the kid doesn't even have to think about it - so much more of their focus stays on school and activities. Now of COURSE they are still boy/girl crazy, talk about it all the time, etc... but it is on a level much different than those who actually are allowed to date.

I'm a firm believer in picking an age, whatever is right for your family (although I think anything younger than 14 is ill-advised), and stick to it. Just take the debate off the table for your kids until it's an appropriate time.

Not dating until 16 is one of the parenting things I have the strongest feelings about. It just really sets kids up to focus on what is most important. By the time they are 16 they are generally making a lot different decisions about who is worth spending time with (you see this with friends too!) than they do when they are younger. Usually much better judgment. Not perfect by any means, but better.

[Anonymous]

No. You might trust your son to go on a movie date with a girl. If I was the parent of the girl, I would not want her going on a one on one move date with a boy in 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son and his friend are interested in two girls who are friends and would like to ask them to the movies. I don't have a huge issue with this, they are nice girls and our boys are good boys. It does seem young, but curious what others do?

What exactly are the boys "interested" in??

[Anonymous]

No. Not yet.

[Anonymous]

No don't do it. I was "dating" at 12 and having sex at 14. The later you can keep the focus on dating/relationships the better.

[Anonymous]

So funny this is right next to a thread about an 11-12 year old sleepover with some posters chiming in that now having the boys sleep over is ridiculous. Ha!

[Anonymous]

I think 12 is a very normal age to be interested in girls. I wouldn't encourage the dating thing and would say 14 or so is better and should be more hanging out as a group of girls and boys. 16 for this kind of interaction seems pretty old, they are going to college in two years! I was interested in boys in 5th grade and distinctly remember "going with" boys from that point on. Didn't really mean anything until 14 or 15 when yes, the physical side can enter in a bit. Don't be naive people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So funny this is right next to a thread about an 11-12 year old sleepover with some posters chiming in that now having the boys sleep over is ridiculous. Ha!

Isn't that about someone 10 turning 11? So the kids are 10-11, which at this point is a (minor) difference.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. Our kids can go to school dances with a "date" starting in 8th grade, but other than that the rule is no dating until you're 16. We're not religious or particularly conservative at all, but I've seen the difference in kids who start dating young and kids who wait until they are more mature to start dating. It makes a huge difference, particularly with girls. It draws the line very clearly for them, so mom/dad get to be the "bad guy" and the kid doesn't even have to think about it - so much more of their focus stays on school and activities. Now of COURSE they are still boy/girl crazy, talk about it all the time, etc... but it is on a level much different than those who actually are allowed to date.

I'm a firm believer in picking an age, whatever is right for your family (although I think anything younger than 14 is ill-advised), and stick to it. Just take the debate off the table for your kids until it's an appropriate time.

Not dating until 16 is one of the parenting things I have the strongest feelings about. It just really sets kids up to focus on what is most important. By the time they are 16 they are generally making a lot different decisions about who is worth spending time with (you see this with friends too!) than they do when they are younger. Usually much better judgment. Not perfect by any means, but better.

Thank you.