Do not hold your advanced kid back a year and then complain he/she isn't challenged

[Anonymous]

A rant.. I was speaking with someone who held her child back (red shirted K) because he has a March birthday. He's now is second grade and the mom is always complaining about how bored her son is in school. Well maybe if she sent her son to school on time, it wouldn't be an issue.

Signed a mom who has a son with a late August birthday who sent their child to school on time.

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

Oh this would drive my nuts. We are in DC that has a Sept 30 cutoff, and my daughter is the youngest in her class.

[Anonymous]

March? She presumably held him back for a "real" reason, like social or emotional immaturity. Or possibly purely for an advantage.

If she says this to you, you could suggest she have him promoted/skipped ahead. Then he'd be in a more advanced grade.

[Anonymous]

I never heard of holding back a March birthday. What's the cutoff date where you live?

[Anonymous]

Amen. We have a kid in DC's class who is an extreme redshirt and I am SO sick of hearing about how brilliant and bored he is. He's a year and a half older than some of the other kids! Of course he is bored.

[Anonymous]

March? That's not redshirting. That's squarely in the middle of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:March? That's not redshirting. That's squarely in the middle of the year.

I think the kid didn't go into K the year he was supposed to. He was redshirted.

My DC has a classmate with a May bday, and he is almost 2 yrs older than my DC (June bday), and more than a head taller!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:March? She presumably held him back for a "real" reason, like social or emotional immaturity. Or possibly purely for an advantage.


If she says this to you, you could suggest she have him promoted/skipped ahead. Then he'd be in a more advanced grade.

This.

She shouldn't whine about the consequences of her decision, and should revisit her decision as necessary to ensure her kid's wellbeing.

And you shouldn't whine about the consequences of your decision to not redshirt, and you should revisit your decision as necessary to ensure your kid's wellbeing.

That's how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:March? That's not redshirting. That's squarely in the middle of the year.

I think the kid didn't go into K the year he was supposed to. He was redshirted.

My DC has a classmate with a May bday, and he is almost 2 yrs older than my DC (June bday), and more than a head taller!

2 years older? did they hold the classmate back for 2 years? confused.

[Anonymous]

Any idea why the mom held back her child with a march bday? seems extreme but I wonder if there were other circumstances??

[Anonymous]

This is part of the problem. You can elect to redshirt, but then you're stuck. Your kid, who had a temporary [whatever] that caused you to question his ability to handle kindergarten is now permanently dealing with being in an inappropriate grade. You can't now skip him up to the proper grade easily or in many cases at all.

If redshirting is no big deal, if parents deciding what their child ready for is something we absolutely support, then holding back and promoting forward should be something that can happen more than once, and with relative ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is part of the problem. You can elect to redshirt, but then you're stuck. Your kid, who had a temporary [whatever] that caused you to question his ability to handle kindergarten is now permanently dealing with being in an inappropriate grade. You can't now skip him up to the proper grade easily or in many cases at all.

If redshirting is no big deal, if parents deciding what their child ready for is something we absolutely support, then holding back and promoting forward should be something that can happen more than once, and with relative ease.

Yeah, that extra year of playtime at preschool doesn't always end well for the child. There is a boy in my daughter's class who is a year+ older and a full foot taller than the classmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of the problem. You can elect to redshirt, but then you're stuck. Your kid, who had a temporary [whatever] that caused you to question his ability to handle kindergarten is now permanently dealing with being in an inappropriate grade. You can't now skip him up to the proper grade easily or in many cases at all.

If redshirting is no big deal, if parents deciding what their child ready for is something we absolutely support, then holding back and promoting forward should be something that can happen more than once, and with relative ease.

Yeah, that extra year of playtime at preschool doesn't always end well for the child. There is a boy in my daughter's class who is a year+ older and a full foot taller than the classmates.

I know someone who is red shirting her Sept 4th kid for literally no reason other than she doesn't want the kid to be the youngest in the class. This kid is the second and has always tried to keep up with the older sib, so is academically and socially very mature, but ALSO happens to be very tall (is as talk as my kid who is a year older). I cannot see how this won't be problematic; this kid is going to be bored in preschool next year and even more bored when they finally get to K and it's still only half day and will be full of kids who are much younger and smaller. Teachers have tried to convince the parent that the child is fully ready for K, child BEGS to go to K with pre-k friends and heyee not having it. Makes no sense to me, but it's not my circus and not my monkeys. I can see redshirting being valuable for kids who are socially or academically immature but not for the sole reason of wanting your kid to be very oldest in class vs very youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:March? She presumably held him back for a "real" reason, like social or emotional immaturity. Or possibly purely for an advantage.

If she says this to you, you could suggest she have him promoted/skipped ahead. Then he'd be in a more advanced grade.

+1 They can ask the school to skip a grade or two so that the kid is with his same age peers. My nephew who was red-shirted by two years, 7 yrs old in K!, was finally placed with his peers by later elementary and is MUCH happier.