Do not hold your advanced kid back a year and then complain he/she isn't challenged

[Anonymous]

March is not red-shirting. I don't know what that is. Redshirting is when the birthday falls near the cutoff. It's often a very good idea. I can see how this would be frustrating to listen to OP! I agree you should suggest she see about jumping him up.

[Anonymous]

March can be red-shirting. Child turns 5 in March - is supposed to start K in September. Parent holds child back...that child turns 6 in pre-k, and THEN starts K. While the kids designed to start K on time will be turning 6 in March, that child turns 7 in march.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of the problem. You can elect to redshirt, but then you're stuck. Your kid, who had a temporary [whatever] that caused you to question his ability to handle kindergarten is now permanently dealing with being in an inappropriate grade. You can't now skip him up to the proper grade easily or in many cases at all.

If redshirting is no big deal, if parents deciding what their child ready for is something we absolutely support, then holding back and promoting forward should be something that can happen more than once, and with relative ease.

Yeah, that extra year of playtime at preschool doesn't always end well for the child. There is a boy in my daughter's class who is a year+ older and a full foot taller than the classmates.

I know someone who is red shirting her Sept 4th kid for literally no reason other than she doesn't want the kid to be the youngest in the class. This kid is the second and has always tried to keep up with the older sib, so is academically and socially very mature, but ALSO happens to be very tall (is as talk as my kid who is a year older). I cannot see how this won't be problematic; this kid is going to be bored in preschool next year and even more bored when they finally get to K and it's still only half day and will be full of kids who are much younger and smaller. Teachers have tried to convince the parent that the child is fully ready for K, child BEGS to go to K with pre-k friends and heyee not having it. Makes no sense to me, but it's not my circus and not my monkeys. I can see redshirting being valuable for kids who are socially or academically immature but not for the sole reason of wanting your kid to be very oldest in class vs very youngest.

My son has a September birthday and will be the oldest in his K class and most likely the tallest because the cutoff is September 1 where we live. I know that's not the same as redshirting but I sincerely hope other parents won't be talking about him this way. Focus on your own kid. The OP's example is extreme--I've never heard of a March birthday being redshirted. But it seems OP's problem is with the mother. Just stop hanging out with her if she is a complainer.

[Anonymous]

"Focus on your own kid."

Yes, except to the extent that it affects the whole class when kids who are too old act out from boredom.

[Anonymous]

Aug 30th cutoff here... And my September child is far from the oldest in his class. But I'm fine with it. I know there is an April birthday. The girl has emotional issues and although tall and the oldest, she is the most immature. So, to each their own. Parents try to make the best decisions they can with the information they have.
My son is "advanced" and he is pulled out a couple times a week to get one on one instruction. But I would not advance him a year because I knew he wasn't emotionally and socially ready.

[Anonymous]

There are several of these boys in my son's K class who are now way ahead in reading. The teacher started a "book club" for them so they are more challenged.

[Anonymous]

A kid could be academically ready for K but held back for reasons kept private by the family. My son's pre-K class had a few kids who did not start K on time--one had been adopted as a toddler and had attachment issues and ADHD, another was socially and emotionally ready but was still in pullups due to some kind of intestinal problem (basically not potty trained yet), one had an end-of-September birthday and was just really "young" for his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Focus on your own kid."

Yes, except to the extent that it affects the whole class when kids who are too old act out from boredom.

Or their parents start complaining because their "advanced" child isn't being challenged appropriately.

If the school allows children to be placed in Kindergarten when their age is actually appropriate for first grade, when the parent complains the children should be moved to be in their correct-for-age grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is part of the problem. You can elect to redshirt, but then you're stuck. Your kid, who had a temporary [whatever] that caused you to question his ability to handle kindergarten is now permanently dealing with being in an inappropriate grade. You can't now skip him up to the proper grade easily or in many cases at all.

If redshirting is no big deal, if parents deciding what their child ready for is something we absolutely support, then holding back and promoting forward should be something that can happen more than once, and with relative ease.

Yeah, that extra year of playtime at preschool doesn't always end well for the child. There is a boy in my daughter's class who is a year+ older and a full foot taller than the classmates.

I know someone who is red shirting her Sept 4th kid for literally no reason other than she doesn't want the kid to be the youngest in the class. This kid is the second and has always tried to keep up with the older sib, so is academically and socially very mature, but ALSO happens to be very tall (is as talk as my kid who is a year older). I cannot see how this won't be problematic; this kid is going to be bored in preschool next year and even more bored when they finally get to K and it's still only half day and will be full of kids who are much younger and smaller. Teachers have tried to convince the parent that the child is fully ready for K, child BEGS to go to K with pre-k friends and heyee not having it. Makes no sense to me, but it's not my circus and not my monkeys. I can see redshirting being valuable for kids who are socially or academically immature but not for the sole reason of wanting your kid to be very oldest in class vs very youngest.

My son has a September birthday and will be the oldest in his K class and most likely the tallest because the cutoff is September 1 where we live. I know that's not the same as redshirting but I sincerely hope other parents won't be talking about him this way. Focus on your own kid. The OP's example is extreme--I've never heard of a March birthday being redshirted. But it seems OP's problem is with the mother. Just stop hanging out with her if she is a complainer.

Since I said "not my circus, not my monkeys" I thought I made it pretty clear I stay in my own lane but was simply telling OP this does happen and it's not unusual. Red shirting has become so common it's done solely based on birthdays now even if no other factors that would necessitate it are crazy. And in those instances, the kid does not benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A kid could be academically ready for K but held back for reasons kept private by the family. My son's pre-K class had a few kids who did not start K on time--one had been adopted as a toddler and had attachment issues and ADHD, another was socially and emotionally ready but was still in pullups due to some kind of intestinal problem (basically not potty trained yet), one had an end-of-September birthday and was just really "young" for his age.

These families are probably not the ones complaining. They recognize they had to make a choice, understood the trade-offs, and accept it. I know the types of parents OP is talking about, and they drive me crazy.
These people look at their "babies" and can not imagine them being in kindergarten, but the only way they need to embrace the concept that the only way over it is through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Focus on your own kid."

Yes, except to the extent that it affects the whole class when kids who are too old act out from boredom.

Also affects the class when young summer boys can't behave, which I've seen happen much more frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A rant.. I was speaking with someone who held her child back (red shirted K) because he has a March birthday. He's now is second grade and the mom is always complaining about how bored her son is in school. Well maybe if she sent her son to school on time, it wouldn't be an issue.

Signed a mom who has a son with a late August birthday who sent their child to school on time.

1) An advanced kid doesn't get held back.
2) Boredom in school doesn't signal gifted or talented behavior. Gifted and talented children do not get bored at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A rant.. I was speaking with someone who held her child back (red shirted K) because he has a March birthday. He's now is second grade and the mom is always complaining about how bored her son is in school. Well maybe if she sent her son to school on time, it wouldn't be an issue.

Signed a mom who has a son with a late August birthday who sent their child to school on time.

1) An advanced kid doesn't get held back.
2) Boredom in school doesn't signal gifted or talented behavior. Gifted and talented children do not get bored at school.

Exactly and by the same token, just because your child can't behave at school does not mean that they are "bored". It only means that the kid cannot behave.

[Anonymous]

Most of the people I know who redshirted their kids did it thinking it would allow their kid to be among the most academically advanced in the class. It had nothing to do with social maturity. I think that most of the parents who redshirt, do it for that reason. One of the parents I talked to was actually sending her 5-year-old to Kumon at the same time she was redshirting and was bragging that the kid read on a 3rd grade level. Yes, that kid was redshirted. Puh-lease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A rant.. I was speaking with someone who held her child back (red shirted K) because he has a March birthday. He's now is second grade and the mom is always complaining about how bored her son is in school. Well maybe if she sent her son to school on time, it wouldn't be an issue.

Signed a mom who has a son with a late August birthday who sent their child to school on time.

1) An advanced kid doesn't get held back.
2) Boredom in school doesn't signal gifted or talented behavior. Gifted and talented children do not get bored at school.

OP here maybe I should clarify, this child is way above average academically and always has been. I don't get it.