I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

It was soul-sucking for my daughter as well. Jr. year of college she told me I was right about the fact that where you go doesn’t matter much - she DID get into a ‘DCUM-approved’ school. Rejected so many other places and was so hard on her. The whole process sucks rocks.

[Anonymous]

I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior who has good options, but not their first or second (or third or fourth) choice. They check every box you can think of in the stats and extracurriculars departments, though no hooks, and they're seeing their unhooked friends with great stats have very mixed results, too. As a result, my own child has concluded that rather than lament all the waitlists and rejections (at this point there are so many waitlists for everyone they know) they're instead grateful they worked their tail off, because they wouldn't even have the option they do have were it not for those stats. There are a lot of kids this year who expected to get into top five schools (and still may if they were deferred) but had meh results at the top 25 schools and so aren't holding their breath for Ivy Day. I'm talking super tippy top students who expected a shot at Harvard and got rejected from Tufts and Emory and Colgate and waitlisted at a bunch in that category too. The state schools seem to be more predictable when it comes to stats. Our plan is to visit the school our child got into, which covid has prevented doing so far, and hope that gets them even more excited. They already are happy, but it's taken the length of the process to fully appreciate how lucky are to have even one solid fifth-choice option. I've been through this process with my older kids, and trust me, this year is different. If next year is anything at all like this one, I'd recommend choosing an ED1 school that doesn't have ED2, then applying ED2 if that doesn't work out, sending off apps to a number of state schools with rolling admissions, and making sure to hype even the safeties on your child's list. If I were to change anything about how my child handled admissions, it would be to visit the so called safeties along with the reaches that excited them in the abstract.

In any time, it's better to spend time visiting safeties than reaches. Your child needs to have safeties they can feel good about and that's where demonstrated interest can matter too. We didn't visit any reaches, no point falling in love with a school you probably won't get into.

This x100%. We are visiting colleges over Spring Break, and yesterday we visited a state university in an adjoining state that I never thought DC would be interested in. We went because it was on the way to somewhere else. I think their acceptance rate is 80%. We were all very favorably impressed. I don’t think it will be DC’s first choice (she would like a more urban environment) but I think she wouldn’t be upset if she ended up there. Today, we’re visiting the top 20 private college with the 10% acceptance rate. I don’t know if DC will even bother applying, but if she does, I’ve emphasized the lesson that I’ve taken away from this thread. A 4.0 and a high test score will buy you a lottery ticket to apply, but don’t get your heart set on it. We really are focusing on finding multiple true safeties where DC will be happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me! I was also devastated. I ended up going to my safety, having an amazing experience, made amazing friends and got a great education that led to a good job.

When life closes doors, it also always leaves some open. Teach them to be grateful for yes and to go there with enthusiasm and optimism.

It honestly doesn’t matter as much as it seems at the time. Life is what you do with what you’re given.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

Only disadvantaged in admissions, advantages in every other way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

He must be Asian American.

[Anonymous]

OP, any update? Rooting for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

Again, check your timelines, liar. Accepted ED means 5 months remote learning, with nearly no impact on transcript.

And “some people are upfront” does not = calling your kid a loser. I have never heard of that, ever. You are lying, flat out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

He must be Asian American.

OP confirmed that he is HAPA about halfway through the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

Only disadvantaged in admissions, advantages in every other way.

I don't think being targeted for hate crimes is an advantage. A HAPA may be named Wang, Gonzalez, Smith or Jackson but to the attacker it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

Again, check your timelines, liar. Accepted ED means 5 months remote learning, with nearly no impact on transcript.

And “some people are upfront” does not = calling your kid a loser. I have never heard of that, ever. You are lying, flat out.

Makes sense to me. He could still have gotten into Brown ED *and* sat on his ass for a year and a half doing nothing but playing games. He probably meant he sat on his ass doing nothing, got into brown, continued sitting on his ass.

The guy sounds like he is being sarcastic and sort of secretly gloating. His kid got into Brown without working hard. Do you think he's the only kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

Only disadvantaged in admissions, advantages in every other way.

I don't think being targeted for hate crimes is an advantage. A HAPA may be named Wang, Gonzalez, Smith or Jackson but to the attacker it doesn't matter.

Was OPs child targeted ?

I didn’t think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

Again, check your timelines, liar. Accepted ED means 5 months remote learning, with nearly no impact on transcript.

And “some people are upfront” does not = calling your kid a loser. I have never heard of that, ever. You are lying, flat out.

Makes sense to me. He could still have gotten into Brown ED *and* sat on his ass for a year and a half doing nothing but playing games. He probably meant he sat on his ass doing nothing, got into brown, continued sitting on his ass.

The guy sounds like he is being sarcastic and sort of secretly gloating. His kid got into Brown without working hard. Do you think he's the only kid?

No it does not make sense timewise. At all. It hasn’t even been a year and a half since remote learning began even. Plus, its stupid. Do you truly think elite schools are suddenly letting slackers in? Do you think his transcript - 99$ of which was from before remote learning - reflected his being a “loser”?

It’s a lie, meant to advance a narrative, which is false - that test optional is letting unqualified kids into elite schools.