I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm very sorry. That sounds really tough and the result of a lot of bad luck. I agree with all the posters telling you that you have to get a counselor or head master to work the phone for you on schools that waitlisted your kid as part of yield protection. Even public school counselors have some heft in that situation.

As a cautionary tale for others, I think it means that you have to put in the effort for demonstrated interest to your safety schools. Perhaps make sure to include your parents' alma mater and visit (for us, that was Ohio State). And you definitely have to reconsider what you think is a "match" -- schools like Emory and Tulane can never be a match, even if they were in the past and even if you know kids with lower stats get in.

This is what I don't get. Straight As, 6 APs, 1550 on the SAT, strong essay and recs. How can this not be a match at Emory, Vandy, Tulane? These schools are now filled with valedictorians with 1600s???

Fwiw, my kids are really young so I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm just baffled that a kid with straight As and 1550 can't get into Tulane now. Again, they're filling all their freshman seats with kids who were shoe-ins for Harvard 20 years ago?

+ Agree. My kids are younger, but Ive seen this writing on the wall for some time now and have prepared them for expecting to go to a state school, with the elite state schools as reaches. We both went to SLACS, like Vassar, which we’d lobby for them to include as well. I went to an elite NE prep school too, but had a shitty college counselor who didnt know me very well. My kids are half Asian, half white, so that’s no help either, and they dont do competitive sports.

[Anonymous]

The pandemic has changed the landscape. I went to a huge public high school in Pennsylvania and have friends who stayed. Their kids are now at those same schools. The school is just mediocre. It’s not terrible, but nothing special, either. It is suburban but not rich Philly suburban.

The pandemic definitely gave more kids a chance to throw their hats in. One friend bragged how her daughter, who “didn’t crack 1300 on her SATs” got into Wash U “but she is really more Dickinson material” (where she also got in). Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

These are anecdotes. I know that. But it still bugs my kid, who went to a school were he still had to work hard for his grades. He looks the same on paper as the Brown kid but the best school mine got in was Vermont. It’s a fine school, but he was shooting higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has changed the landscape. I went to a huge public high school in Pennsylvania and have friends who stayed. Their kids are now at those same schools. The school is just mediocre. It’s not terrible, but nothing special, either. It is suburban but not rich Philly suburban.

The pandemic definitely gave more kids a chance to throw their hats in. One friend bragged how her daughter, who “didn’t crack 1300 on her SATs” got into Wash U “but she is really more Dickinson material” (where she also got in). Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

These are anecdotes. I know that. But it still bugs my kid, who went to a school were he still had to work hard for his grades. He looks the same on paper as the Brown kid but the best school mine got in was Vermont. It’s a fine school, but he was shooting higher.

Yeah, so that says the system has failed this year. No other way to describe it. Stinks.

[Anonymous]

I have a senior who has good options, but not their first or second (or third or fourth) choice. They check every box you can think of in the stats and extracurriculars departments, though no hooks, and they're seeing their unhooked friends with great stats have very mixed results, too. As a result, my own child has concluded that rather than lament all the waitlists and rejections (at this point there are so many waitlists for everyone they know) they're instead grateful they worked their tail off, because they wouldn't even have the option they do have were it not for those stats. There are a lot of kids this year who expected to get into top five schools (and still may if they were deferred) but had meh results at the top 25 schools and so aren't holding their breath for Ivy Day. I'm talking super tippy top students who expected a shot at Harvard and got rejected from Tufts and Emory and Colgate and waitlisted at a bunch in that category too. The state schools seem to be more predictable when it comes to stats. Our plan is to visit the school our child got into, which covid has prevented doing so far, and hope that gets them even more excited. They already are happy, but it's taken the length of the process to fully appreciate how lucky are to have even one solid fifth-choice option. I've been through this process with my older kids, and trust me, this year is different. If next year is anything at all like this one, I'd recommend choosing an ED1 school that doesn't have ED2, then applying ED2 if that doesn't work out, sending off apps to a number of state schools with rolling admissions, and making sure to hype even the safeties on your child's list. If I were to change anything about how my child handled admissions, it would be to visit the so called safeties along with the reaches that excited them in the abstract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has changed the landscape. I went to a huge public high school in Pennsylvania and have friends who stayed. Their kids are now at those same schools. The school is just mediocre. It’s not terrible, but nothing special, either. It is suburban but not rich Philly suburban.

The pandemic definitely gave more kids a chance to throw their hats in. One friend bragged how her daughter, who “didn’t crack 1300 on her SATs” got into Wash U “but she is really more Dickinson material” (where she also got in). Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

These are anecdotes. I know that. But it still bugs my kid, who went to a school were he still had to work hard for his grades. He looks the same on paper as the Brown kid but the best school mine got in was Vermont. It’s a fine school, but he was shooting higher.

Your kid will also be unhappy if he judges his spoils by what others got.

He can't know their exact situation, and their lives should not dictate his happiness with his life. He should try his best and learn from the failures as well as the successes. Building his future is not a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior who has good options, but not their first or second (or third or fourth) choice. They check every box you can think of in the stats and extracurriculars departments, though no hooks, and they're seeing their unhooked friends with great stats have very mixed results, too. As a result, my own child has concluded that rather than lament all the waitlists and rejections (at this point there are so many waitlists for everyone they know) they're instead grateful they worked their tail off, because they wouldn't even have the option they do have were it not for those stats. There are a lot of kids this year who expected to get into top five schools (and still may if they were deferred) but had meh results at the top 25 schools and so aren't holding their breath for Ivy Day. I'm talking super tippy top students who expected a shot at Harvard and got rejected from Tufts and Emory and Colgate and waitlisted at a bunch in that category too. The state schools seem to be more predictable when it comes to stats. Our plan is to visit the school our child got into, which covid has prevented doing so far, and hope that gets them even more excited. They already are happy, but it's taken the length of the process to fully appreciate how lucky are to have even one solid fifth-choice option. I've been through this process with my older kids, and trust me, this year is different. If next year is anything at all like this one, I'd recommend choosing an ED1 school that doesn't have ED2, then applying ED2 if that doesn't work out, sending off apps to a number of state schools with rolling admissions, and making sure to hype even the safeties on your child's list. If I were to change anything about how my child handled admissions, it would be to visit the so called safeties along with the reaches that excited them in the abstract.

This is great advice in any year. Saw this happen last year too. Without a hook, great stats and great ECs are no guarantee to get into the top 25. It also starts to feel a little like a personality contest which can be very demoralizing
So apply to a few state schools (many are stats driven and have good honors colleges). Never talk down a school that could be a great fit just cos it’s ranked out of the top 30 or top 40. Rolling admission is a great idea. It took so much pressure off ds last year to know he got in somewhere. It made the Spring less stressful.
One of the most important things to do as a parent is to make sure your child is applying to a variety of schools. This is especially important for a high stats kid because every school appears to be within grasp. So suggest lower ranked schools that have great programs or have a learning environment that would suit your child and get them excited about these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has changed the landscape. I went to a huge public high school in Pennsylvania and have friends who stayed. Their kids are now at those same schools. The school is just mediocre. It’s not terrible, but nothing special, either. It is suburban but not rich Philly suburban.

The pandemic definitely gave more kids a chance to throw their hats in. One friend bragged how her daughter, who “didn’t crack 1300 on her SATs” got into Wash U “but she is really more Dickinson material” (where she also got in). Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

These are anecdotes. I know that. But it still bugs my kid, who went to a school were he still had to work hard for his grades. He looks the same on paper as the Brown kid but the best school mine got in was Vermont. It’s a fine school, but he was shooting higher.

Yeah, so that says the system has failed this year. No other way to describe it. Stinks.

+3 DC is in a funk after a flurry of rejections and WLs in the last 2 weeks. I am hoping the WL move early and DC can get at least one acceptance to a top choice. If not, heading to a school that DC has determined isn’t the best fit (based on the accepted student events and social media).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pandemic has changed the landscape. I went to a huge public high school in Pennsylvania and have friends who stayed. Their kids are now at those same schools. The school is just mediocre. It’s not terrible, but nothing special, either. It is suburban but not rich Philly suburban.

The pandemic definitely gave more kids a chance to throw their hats in. One friend bragged how her daughter, who “didn’t crack 1300 on her SATs” got into Wash U “but she is really more Dickinson material” (where she also got in). Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

These are anecdotes. I know that. But it still bugs my kid, who went to a school were he still had to work hard for his grades. He looks the same on paper as the Brown kid but the best school mine got in was Vermont. It’s a fine school, but he was shooting higher.

Yeah, so that says the system has failed this year. No other way to describe it. Stinks.

Did it fail? Or is this what the schools were shooting for? The colleges have made no secret of their desire to diversify their student bodies, in every way — income, first gen, & geography, as well as race. Test optional allows them to do that. Maybe the pipeline from the Northeastern and Mid-Atlantic private & elite public schools no longer exists and being from that milieu is now a disadvantage? They’ll take a certain allotment of DC private school kids with hooks (legacy, sports, etc) and get the non-hooked kid from Mississippi. The Mississippi kid’s lower test scores won’t show up on the USNWR rankings now.

I also think the heavier use of waitlists is a way to avoid implementing their need blind policies without having to admit they’re doing that (as well as avoiding over-enrollment in a very uncertain year).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is mindnumbingly boring. Except for the parts where Big 3 or Big 5 parents lament their kids' college rejections. That's fun!

It is mean to say something like this while others are in such unlucky position.

I agree. These are real kids with real feelings. The poster who posted that should really be ashamed. Not nice.

It's fun to see that money can't solve everything. These parents thought that paying 50k a year for high school gave them a golden ticket. Not so fast!

I certainly don’t think my kids are owed anything just because they went to private school. Is that what you think? Are you a private school parent?

I happen to be surprised and elated at my "Big 3 or Big 5" 3.0 kid's college options. Never would have had them as 3.0 from a local public. Never.

Of course not. Your kid wouldn't be a 3.0 at a local public. They would be a 4.2. Do you not understand that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is mindnumbingly boring. Except for the parts where Big 3 or Big 5 parents lament their kids' college rejections. That's fun!

It is mean to say something like this while others are in such unlucky position.

I agree. These are real kids with real feelings. The poster who posted that should really be ashamed. Not nice.

It's fun to see that money can't solve everything. These parents thought that paying 50k a year for high school gave them a golden ticket. Not so fast!

I certainly don’t think my kids are owed anything just because they went to private school. Is that what you think? Are you a private school parent?

I happen to be surprised and elated at my "Big 3 or Big 5" 3.0 kid's college options. Never would have had them as 3.0 from a local public. Never.

Of course not. Your kid wouldn't be a 3.0 at a local public. They would be a 4.2. Do you not understand that?

Yes there is grade inflation at many public high schools but that doesn’t give their students an edge especially at the top colleges with robust Admissions programs.
Our Montgomery county public school sends a school profile for that year along with the student’s transcript. This lists the GPA distribution (weighted and unweighted) the SAT and ACT averages, the number and type of AP tests taken (and the number of students who received 5s, 4s,3s etc), the average score for various SAT subject tests, the number of NMSF semifinalists and finalists
The top private schools send something similar
So an admissions officer at Yale knows how to interpret and compare a 4.0 from MCPS versus a 3.6 from St Albans They also have plenty of information about the rigor and peer group at both schools because they see a ton of information about test scores etc.

[Anonymous]

True but I don' think that was the point. The 3.0 from private doesn't yield better results because it is a 4.2 in public (dubious proposition but for the sake of argument). There is a private "bump" because its private, which is code for more likely than not full pay. We were really pleasantly surprised where a sub 3.0 DC got in last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm very sorry. That sounds really tough and the result of a lot of bad luck. I agree with all the posters telling you that you have to get a counselor or head master to work the phone for you on schools that waitlisted your kid as part of yield protection. Even public school counselors have some heft in that situation.

As a cautionary tale for others, I think it means that you have to put in the effort for demonstrated interest to your safety schools. Perhaps make sure to include your parents' alma mater and visit (for us, that was Ohio State). And you definitely have to reconsider what you think is a "match" -- schools like Emory and Tulane can never be a match, even if they were in the past and even if you know kids with lower stats get in.

This is what I don't get. Straight As, 6 APs, 1550 on the SAT, strong essay and recs. How can this not be a match at Emory, Vandy, Tulane? These schools are now filled with valedictorians with 1600s???

Fwiw, my kids are really young so I don't have a dog in this fight. I'm just baffled that a kid with straight As and 1550 can't get into Tulane now. Again, they're filling all their freshman seats with kids who were shoe-ins for Harvard 20 years ago?

+ Agree. My kids are younger, but Ive seen this writing on the wall for some time now and have prepared them for expecting to go to a state school, with the elite state schools as reaches. We both went to SLACS, like Vassar, which we’d lobby for them to include as well. I went to an elite NE prep school too, but had a shitty college counselor who didnt know me very well. My kids are half Asian, half white, so that’s no help either, and they dont do competitive sports.

+2. PP, I am basically you (Asian, elite NE prep school, but shitty counselor who literally wrote my recommendations based on what I did in middle school, which I wrote about on my application to said elite prep school, because she didn't know what I had accomplished in high school and didn't care enough to bother with finding out or asking me). My half Asian kids are non-athletic (and, like me, can't become athletic due to minor medical issues). I feel like this game isn't even worth it anymore, with the miniscule acceptance rates and crazy sticker prices. I'd be perfectly happy if my kids went to the Midwestern state school that is popular at our local high school, with an 80% acceptance rate (and 90% ED acceptance rate), and a very reasonable in-state cost. What is even the point, when half my class at my Ivy grad school went to state schools or random crappy colleges for undergrad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a senior who has good options, but not their first or second (or third or fourth) choice. They check every box you can think of in the stats and extracurriculars departments, though no hooks, and they're seeing their unhooked friends with great stats have very mixed results, too. As a result, my own child has concluded that rather than lament all the waitlists and rejections (at this point there are so many waitlists for everyone they know) they're instead grateful they worked their tail off, because they wouldn't even have the option they do have were it not for those stats. There are a lot of kids this year who expected to get into top five schools (and still may if they were deferred) but had meh results at the top 25 schools and so aren't holding their breath for Ivy Day. I'm talking super tippy top students who expected a shot at Harvard and got rejected from Tufts and Emory and Colgate and waitlisted at a bunch in that category too. The state schools seem to be more predictable when it comes to stats. Our plan is to visit the school our child got into, which covid has prevented doing so far, and hope that gets them even more excited. They already are happy, but it's taken the length of the process to fully appreciate how lucky are to have even one solid fifth-choice option. I've been through this process with my older kids, and trust me, this year is different. If next year is anything at all like this one, I'd recommend choosing an ED1 school that doesn't have ED2, then applying ED2 if that doesn't work out, sending off apps to a number of state schools with rolling admissions, and making sure to hype even the safeties on your child's list. If I were to change anything about how my child handled admissions, it would be to visit the so called safeties along with the reaches that excited them in the abstract.

In any time, it's better to spend time visiting safeties than reaches. Your child needs to have safeties they can feel good about and that's where demonstrated interest can matter too. We didn't visit any reaches, no point falling in love with a school you probably won't get into.

[Anonymous]

OP - if you are still reading this - my DC’s results were also unexpected and almost all WL or rejections too. Not feeling “it” at the accepted school either. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.