I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

Only disadvantaged in admissions, advantages in every other way.

I don't think being targeted for hate crimes is an advantage. A HAPA may be named Wang, Gonzalez, Smith or Jackson but to the attacker it doesn't matter.

Was OPs child targeted ?

I didn’t think so.

Of course not. The point is that Asians (including OP's child) are disadvantaged in college admissions and other aspects of how our society operates (hate crimes in the extreme). Asians are not "advantaged in every other way".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll venture a guess that OP’s kid is a white male

OP's kid is HAPA (half Asian) male. Even more disadvantaged than a white male.

Only disadvantaged in admissions, advantages in every other way.

Such as?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

He must be Asian American.

Said Asian American one parent/other parent from Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an excellent opportunity to teach him resilience. At least he has one acceptance so he is going somewhere. Maybe an attitude adjustment is needed for both of you.

I remember couple of friends who initially weren't accepted into any medical school. They kept trying. One got a master's in something medical-related. He was accepted at the UofMichigan. The other I don't recall what she did, but she got accepted into an Ivy medical school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an excellent opportunity to teach him resilience. At least he has one acceptance so he is going somewhere. Maybe an attitude adjustment is needed for both of you.

I remember couple of friends who initially weren't accepted into any medical school. They kept trying. One got a master's in something medical-related. He was accepted at the UofMichigan. The other I don't recall what she did, but she got accepted into an Ivy medical school.

Jerry Greenfield, a co-founder of Ben & Jerry's, was denied from some 20 med schools out of college. He took time off, did research, and reapplied to some 20 med schools. He was rejected by every one of them - again. So, he got into an ice cream business as a co-founder of Ben & Jerry's.

[Anonymous]

Sorry. It's been a tough entrance year. They changed the rules and others benefitted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. It's been a tough entrance year. They changed the rules and others benefitted.

Where is your evidence of that? Shouldn't you wait at least until the CDSs are released so you can determine that is accurate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is mindnumbingly boring. Except for the parts where Big 3 or Big 5 parents lament their kids' college rejections. That's fun!

It is mean to say something like this while others are in such unlucky position.

I agree. These are real kids with real feelings. The poster who posted that should really be ashamed. Not nice.

It's fun to see that money can't solve everything. These parents thought that paying 50k a year for high school gave them a golden ticket. Not so fast!

I certainly don’t think my kids are owed anything just because they went to private school. Is that what you think? Are you a private school parent?

[/b]

I happen to be surprised and elated at my "Big 3 or Big 5" 3.0 kid's college options. Never would have had them as 3.0 from a local public. Never.

[b]

Just curious what are those options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

Again, check your timelines, liar. Accepted ED means 5 months remote learning, with nearly no impact on transcript.

And “some people are upfront” does not = calling your kid a loser. I have never heard of that, ever. You are lying, flat out.

Makes sense to me. He could still have gotten into Brown ED *and* sat on his ass for a year and a half doing nothing but playing games. He probably meant he sat on his ass doing nothing, got into brown, continued sitting on his ass.

The guy sounds like he is being sarcastic and sort of secretly gloating. His kid got into Brown without working hard. Do you think he's the only kid?

No it does not make sense timewise. At all. It hasn’t even been a year and a half since remote learning began even. Plus, its stupid. Do you truly think elite schools are suddenly letting slackers in? Do you think his transcript - 99$ of which was from before remote learning - reflected his being a “loser”?

It’s a lie, meant to advance a narrative, which is false - that test optional is letting unqualified kids into elite schools.

New poster here but I don't think it's a lie either. I think you just wouldn't behave that way. And for what it's worth, you're both right in the sense that it's random, but I am not seeing unqualified kids getting in anywhere unless they're super hooked in some way. I am seeing less qualified hooked kids beat out more qualified unhooked kids, mostly in the donor/sports categories. In privileged areas, I think schools expect to see scores or it's a red flag. There is no question minorities fared better than white kids in the early round, but it may balance out by the time this is done and RD and waitlists move. Schools may have been trying to diversify early and make sure they have a well rounded class before regular decisions. The minories that got in early (that we know personally, anyway) were nearly interchangeable stats-wise with the white kids who also applied, and everyone for the most part submitted tests. This is in a high SES community with great schools, so these schools also plucked full-pay, well-prepared, great kids who happen to be minorities early. I can't say I blame them. My white kid did fine and is happy, too, but in the regular round. Deferred or rejected in the early rounds (ED/EA). A lot of their friends are legacies (and white) who got deferred from ivys in the early rounds and are still waiting to see how it works out. In past years, I suspect those kids would have been admitted early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another friend joked in private, of course, “my loser son is in at Brown. I have no idea how that happened. He sat on his ass this year and a half playing games on his phone with class on in the background. He has all As for doing nothing. I think he only got in because of this class project where he helped kids from lower income schools learn how to play Minecraft. I am totally not kidding.”

Recommendation: next time you lie, check he timelines of you lie to ensure they are even possible (yours isn’t), then try not to use anecdotes that are difficult to believe, like someone saying “my loser son”.

DP. Why is the timeline impossible? Brown has ED.
And it sounds harsh but some people are upfront about their child's lack of a work ethic.

Again, check your timelines, liar. Accepted ED means 5 months remote learning, with nearly no impact on transcript.

And “some people are upfront” does not = calling your kid a loser. I have never heard of that, ever. You are lying, flat out.

Makes sense to me. He could still have gotten into Brown ED *and* sat on his ass for a year and a half doing nothing but playing games. He probably meant he sat on his ass doing nothing, got into brown, continued sitting on his ass.

The guy sounds like he is being sarcastic and sort of secretly gloating. His kid got into Brown without working hard. Do you think he's the only kid?

No it does not make sense timewise. At all. It hasn’t even been a year and a half since remote learning began even. Plus, its stupid. Do you truly think elite schools are suddenly letting slackers in? Do you think his transcript - 99$ of which was from before remote learning - reflected his being a “loser”?

It’s a lie, meant to advance a narrative, which is false - that test optional is letting unqualified kids into elite schools.

New poster here but I don't think it's a lie either. I think you just wouldn't behave that way. And for what it's worth, you're both right in the sense that it's random, but I am not seeing unqualified kids getting in anywhere unless they're super hooked in some way. I am seeing less qualified hooked kids beat out more qualified unhooked kids, mostly in the donor/sports categories. In privileged areas, I think schools expect to see scores or it's a red flag. There is no question minorities fared better than white kids in the early round, but it may balance out by the time this is done and RD and waitlists move. Schools may have been trying to diversify early and make sure they have a well rounded class before regular decisions. The minories that got in early (that we know personally, anyway) were nearly interchangeable stats-wise with the white kids who also applied, and everyone for the most part submitted tests. This is in a high SES community with great schools, so these schools also plucked full-pay, well-prepared, great kids who happen to be minorities early. I can't say I blame them. My white kid did fine and is happy, too, but in the regular round. Deferred or rejected in the early rounds (ED/EA). A lot of their friends are legacies (and white) who got deferred from ivys in the early rounds and are still waiting to see how it works out. In past years, I suspect those kids would have been admitted early.

Sorry to repeat, but the calendar math does not work, which shows a hasty lie not well considered. And, have any of you ever known a parent refer to their kid — a kid who was JUST admitted to an elite Ivy League college with a single digit acceptance rate - as a “loser”? Seriously.

Those two points alone show it is almost certainly a lie. And a nasty one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That's why I despise the American college exceptionalism.

Everywhere else, students are accepted on academic merit, with thresholds for grades and/or exams, which universities tweak for international students with different high school systems.

This makes the most sense, because universities remain places of higher learning, and judging based on extra-curriculars that don't have standardized norms makes comparing students impossible.

So at least in other countries, you know where you are. You're not messed around and have hopes dashed after waiting for months. As soon as you know your exam results, you also know where you're getting in.

Oh please. Colleges accept students who are qualified, interesting and will do well. Maybe your snowflake doesn't come off particularly well in his applications. No one owes you anything.

[Anonymous]

Hello, everyone. This is OP: He has decided to push hard to get off the waitlist at CWRU. We will keep our fingers crossed.Thank you to everyone who asked for an update. He is still upset but has come to terms that he will either go to his safety or hopefully get off of one of the waitlists, preferably CWRU at the point.

It has been a challenging journey and it is not over yet. Hopefully it won't take all summer for schools to figure out the waitlist situation.

[Anonymous]

GL to your son at CWRU, OP! Fingers crossed it works out.

[Anonymous]

Ivy day is tomorrow. Just saying....

[Anonymous]

Good luck to your son!