I can’t say this to my kid’s face, of course, but...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

I'm terrified for my son to begin the process next year. This could be his stats exactly.

Some of his friends who are seniors with much better stats and resumes got obliterated this year. There's one who applied to the safeties the college counselor advised him to and was waitlisted at them all. He's not 'in' anywhere. This is a kid who will be either #1 or #2 in the class, depending on how things end up. How the hell can that be?

He has better stats than my DD who is a senior at UVA right now. I said this in another thread! So if she was applying today, she wouldn't have gotten in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this college admissions cycle has parents questioning this insanity and what it does to our kids. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/967617.page

Parents are cursing the insanity. But if a kid wants to go to college, you have to go through the application process. The process has to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s a foundational school?

GDS term for safety

I keep reading this thread, and you are the second person to allege this. I just posted that NCS calls them foundational schools. I don't know if GDS does or not.

NP here, Flint Hill calls them that as well. But they’re just emulating the better DC schools, right? Our list from the CC department specifically says that foundation schools should be the majority of your applications and are most likely but not guaranteed for admission.

Death by euphemism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this college admissions cycle has parents questioning this insanity and what it does to our kids. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/967617.page

Parents are cursing the insanity. But if a kid wants to go to college, you have to go through the application process. The process has to change.

The college cartel has you by the bal**! And they have the powers-that-be in their pockets. That's how these hedge funds that front as higher ed service providers get away with being openly racist with an opaque process that hides their rules of engagement all without pay any taxes! Why would they change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish the OP had told us what private school. Our kid has similar stats at a Big 3 - That said this is why despite being at a big 3, we are hiring a private outside college counselor. We have lost faith in our school's college office. They seem arrogant and out-of-touch. The party line is "everyone knows how amazing and rigorous our school is!" But the admissions stats are not in line with that dated assertion. Also our school limits the number of applications despite kids like the OP's being shut of everywhere. That enrages me- we pay 50k I year if my kid wants to apply to 12 schools they should be able to! We are taking things into our own hands and advocating early. The Op's post really worries me. That said, OP best of luck with the waitlist and I would pressure your school counselor to advocate for your kid!

So, parents are paying college-level fees for 4 years so the school can actually get their kid into the right college and they are unable to do that? What's the ROI then?

How exactly do they go about locking you out of applying to more than 10 schools? Once they submit their recommendation/teacher rec. to the common app, it gets sent to all the schools you choose to apply to and they have no control over how many that can be. We did not do any coalition apps so not sure if that would be any different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

I'm terrified for my son to begin the process next year. This could be his stats exactly.

Some of his friends who are seniors with much better stats and resumes got obliterated this year. There's one who applied to the safeties the college counselor advised him to and was waitlisted at them all. He's not 'in' anywhere. This is a kid who will be either #1 or #2 in the class, depending on how things end up. How the hell can that be?

He has better stats than my DD who is a senior at UVA right now. I said this in another thread! So if she was applying today, she wouldn't have gotten in.

How can his friend have stats “much better” than mid 1500s snd perfect gpa save for a single b+? Surely there’s only room for “a bit better”!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish the OP had told us what private school. Our kid has similar stats at a Big 3 - That said this is why despite being at a big 3, we are hiring a private outside college counselor. We have lost faith in our school's college office. They seem arrogant and out-of-touch. The party line is "everyone knows how amazing and rigorous our school is!" But the admissions stats are not in line with that dated assertion. Also our school limits the number of applications despite kids like the OP's being shut of everywhere. That enrages me- we pay 50k I year if my kid wants to apply to 12 schools they should be able to! We are taking things into our own hands and advocating early. The Op's post really worries me. That said, OP best of luck with the waitlist and I would pressure your school counselor to advocate for your kid!

So, parents are paying college-level fees for 4 years so the school can actually get their kid into the right college and they are unable to do that? What's the ROI then?

How exactly do they go about locking you out of applying to more than 10 schools? Once they submit their recommendation/teacher rec. to the common app, it gets sent to all the schools you choose to apply to and they have no control over how many that can be. We did not do any coalition apps so not sure if that would be any different.

At our school, they limit you to 10. They won’t send transcripts to more. If you want to appeal the process you can. By DD did and she was denied. I was/am also enraged. Don’t get me started.

[Anonymous]

some schools don't need the transcript when applying ...students self reports then a transcript can be sent after being admitted. I will have my DS apply to those if the school limits only 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sucks.
What's meant to be though is usually the outcome.
I've learned if you have to fight so hard for something it's the universe telling you to go a different route.
Stay optimistic things change.

I would love to be able to embrace this attitude. But I just can’t seem to get there. I’d be more likely to blame it on bad luck, try to get over it but I wouldn’t be optimistic. I wish I knew how to be like you, haha! But I just don’t think the universe has any grand plans, or any plans at all. Things just happen, or don’t, and you gotta deal with the outcomes.

Sure, but what terrible outcomes are likely in store for smart, hardworking kids from well-to-do families?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to accept the reality and have him apply to schools that will take him. This process is not nearly as scary when both parents (mostly parents) and kids can see themselves for who they really are. There are excellent state schools that will probably provide your child with great education but you all want to keep applying to the 5 schools that take a minuscule number of kids. Of course you are crushed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give up. It’s hard to to stay optimistic. He worked his ass off at his private school, got mid-1500 on his SAT, continued his in person volunteering throughout the pandemic (which I was not excited about, but he wanted to do it). He has had one B+ his entire 4 years of college, the rest As. His teachers speak highly of him and I believe they must have written good letters.

His counselor said his list was solid. He’s been waitlisted or rejected nearly everywhere. He has one acceptance to a “likely” and that’s it. Only one place teaming and it’s a huge reach, esp this year.

It’s hard to stay positive, happy, and upbeat for my kid. He is unexcited about the one place he got in. I know I should try to point out the positives of getting in that one place but it is so hard. I wish he would defer and take a gap year. I brought it up once but he said he isn’t interested.

I’m not thrilled with his college counselor at school. She hasn’t even checked in on his to see how he is doing. I give up on that process too. He is crushed. I am crushed for him.

I’d anyone else having this horrible of a situation? And please don’t say, “my love sucks too, my daughter only got into Emory and not Brown” or some such nonsense. His safety he got in is a safety for everyone.

I'm terrified for my son to begin the process next year. This could be his stats exactly.

Some of his friends who are seniors with much better stats and resumes got obliterated this year. There's one who applied to the safeties the college counselor advised him to and was waitlisted at them all. He's not 'in' anywhere. This is a kid who will be either #1 or #2 in the class, depending on how things end up. How the hell can that be?

He has better stats than my DD who is a senior at UVA right now. I said this in another thread! So if she was applying today, she wouldn't have gotten in.

Maybe the parents and kids have to do their own homework. I am not being snarky, but this is such a major decision, I don't know that I would delegate to the counsellor, even though it seems like that is one thing that private school parents expect for their money. Look at Naviance yourself. Did the kid you are discussing have safety that admit close to 80% of kids with his stats? If not, then he erred.

But I think you need to turn your emotions down a notch. Words like "terrified" and "horrible" are way over the top. Your kids does not need to be taking classes and filling out applications under that kind of pressure. It is unhealthy and way out of proportion to the situation. Just help him identify schools, at each rung of selectivity, that have a solid history of taking kids like him from your school...and where he could see himself for the next four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some schools don't need the transcript when applying ...students self reports then a transcript can be sent after being admitted. I will have my DS apply to those if the school limits only 10.

Most of the schools my kid applied to we submitted transcript copies as opposed to official transcripts. Of course, you will need to submit counselor and teach rec. for most schools. Maybe there's a way for them to control that through the common app.

[Anonymous]

At our school it is simply not allowed. They claim it shows students are serious about each of the 10 schools they applied to, so colleges know the kid isn’t throwing spaghetti at the wall.

In a pandemic year this struck me as being very unfair. Seems like hogwash to me.

Maybe DD could have gotten around it by applying to schools where you self-submit, but the counselors go over each and every intended college application, they fully expect you to update your lists and to let them know of any changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this college admissions cycle has parents questioning this insanity and what it does to our kids. https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/967617.page

Parents are cursing the insanity. But if a kid wants to go to college, you have to go through the application process. The process has to change.

Curious—-how? I mean one of my kids is years away from this process. I can’t imagine it getting even tougher than it is right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our school it is simply not allowed. They claim it shows students are serious about each of the 10 schools they applied to, so colleges know the kid isn’t throwing spaghetti at the wall.

In a pandemic year this struck me as being very unfair. Seems like hogwash to me.

Maybe DD could have gotten around it by applying to schools where you self-submit, but the counselors go over each and every intended college application, they fully expect you to update your lists and to let them know of any changes.

Counselors and teachers have a deadline to submit their recommendations and transcripts into the common app. If I recall, it gets sent to all the schools that the student has selected. There's also an option which allows you to "turn on" a feature so that your counselor can review all your applications. After they have done what they need to do, turn that feature off and add all the other schools. What can they do? Your kid will already be in the final semester of HS or close by then. F them!