If you were a virgin until you married

[Anonymous]

1. How old were you when you married?
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to?
2. Did you grow up religious?
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups?
4. Was your spouse also a virgin?
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you?
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality?
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it?
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life?
9. Are you male or female?
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait?

[Anonymous]

I was the poster in the "Do you regret losing your virginity at the age that you did?" thread that waited until marriage so I'll take your survey.

Anonymous wrote:1. How old were you when you married?

24, husband was 30

Anonymous wrote:2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to?

Yes

Anonymous wrote:3. Did you grow up religious?

I grew up catholic. Parochial school until high school, church every week. Holy Communion & confirmation, observed HDO. So yes religious but not religious, ya know?

Anonymous wrote:4. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups?

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:5. Was your spouse also a virgin?

No & I was number 18 for him.

Anonymous wrote:6. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you?

No it wasn't and while I would not have ruled out marrying a virgin I was happy that my spouse had experience.

Anonymous wrote:7. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality?

I want them to wait until they are 18. Yes I know there is no magic number but I want them to be adults and out of the house so to speak. Also to truly know the person and not jump straight into a sexual relationship for their first time. They are being raised catholic as well, if that matters, but not in parochial. I do want them to know that they can and should speak to us if they are under 18 and need access to birth control.

Anonymous wrote:8. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it?

I do not, it was absolutely worth the wait but I don't think this choice is for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:9. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life?

Yes, 3-4 times a week average, sometimes more. I'm 42 now and my sex drive is raging like crazy.

Anonymous wrote:10. Are you male or female?

Female

Anonymous wrote:11. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait?

Yes, always. I thought it was only fair. My HS boyfriend while he certainly kept asking was respectful of my choice, he was a virgin also. One college boyfriend was respectful and one was cheating on me on the side and saying "you are worth the wait" to my face.

[Anonymous]

1. How old were you when you married?

23

2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to?

yes

2. Did you grow up religious?
yes

3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups?

no

4. Was your spouse also a virgin?

no
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you?

sometimes
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality?

Not sure- i think id want them to do what they want. I dont want them to think of sex as dirty tho and to enjoy it. also I wouldnt want them to get married only for sex

7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it?

No I dont. I think it was worth it. We explored each others bodies already anyway so I knew he would be a great person in terms of caring about my pleasure ect. so i was a virgin but we did some stuff lol

8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life?

5-7 times a week. But we are young!!

9. Are you male or female?

Female

10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait?

Yes and I still am with my friends. Im happy about the decision I made but I respect other peoples decisions.

[Anonymous]

1. How old were you when you married? 26
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to? yes
2. Did you grow up religious? yes
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups? yes, definitely. less so now.
4. Was your spouse also a virgin? yes
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you? he wasn't
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality? I haven't yet, but I hope to be open and honest, while teaching them to be careful and respectful of themselves.
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it? No, yes
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life? Yes, though it certainly could be better. Young kids make it challenging.
9. Are you male or female? F
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait? yes

[Anonymous]

Can I still answer even though we did not wait until marriage but were virgins when we met?

1. How old were you when you married? 23, met at 19
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to? Yes
2. Did you grow up religious? No
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups? No
4. Was your spouse also a virgin? Yes
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you? No
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality? Normal way (instruct and recommend to wait, but to tell me when they're ready so that I can bring child to GYN for pills)
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it? Didn't even think to have regrets, I hadn't met anyone else I wanted to have sex with.
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life? No, medical issues.
9. Are you male or female? Female
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait? No, it wasn't talked about.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

Some people are fine just making choices for themselves and not dictating what others have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

PP, with husband with experience. Because I only control my actions and behavior and I don't make choices about what other people value for themselves. The point of holding out was that was what I chose for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

Some people are fine just making choices for themselves and not dictating what others have to do.

I guess I would expect this to be a pretty important value if you are willing to wait until your wedding night. I understand not caring to dictate what others do. But I would think you would want your spouse to share the same values that you do.

I'm also confused as to how an experienced person (one who has not held back) would be o.k. with waiting for their wedding night to have sex with their bride/groom. Seems like that would be torture. I'm not putting them down for waiting, just wondering why they would be o.k. with waiting....hope that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

1. How old were you when you married? 36
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to? Yes
2. Did you grow up religious? Yes
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups? No. Just shy, focused on school and career, but had always been a sexual person if that makes sense.
4. Was your spouse also a virgin? No
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you? No
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality? Ideally they will be over 18 but that it should be with someone they respect, trust, feel safe with etc more than just physically attracted to.
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it? Wait no, but it wasn't always easy. Absolutely!
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life? We have 3 young kids so it's hard but multiple multiples times a week.
9. Are you male or female? Female
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait? No. I didn't think it was anyone's business really, Just something I wanted to do DH knew and my sisters and that's it.was no Jessica Simpson or Tim Tebow making proclamations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

Some people are fine just making choices for themselves and not dictating what others have to do.

I guess I would expect this to be a pretty important value if you are willing to wait until your wedding night. I understand not caring to dictate what others do. But I would think you would want your spouse to share the same values that you do.

I'm also confused as to how an experienced person (one who has not held back) would be o.k. with waiting for their wedding night to have sex with their bride/groom. Seems like that would be torture. I'm not putting them down for waiting, just wondering why they would be o.k. with waiting....hope that makes sense.

PP who lost it at 36 here.

MY DH was not a virgin. This was actually something I had thought about prior to meeting him . Would I be ok with it for me it was more important to find someone whose values matched it's not as cut and dry as how long they held on to their virginity. I also realized that a person could be a virgin waiting for marriage and be totally wrong for me. In short it wasn't number one on my list.

In my case DH waited for his wedding to his first wife he was 28 going on 29 at the time. So no he wasn;t a virgin when I met him ,but we had similar values, and he was everything else I wanted in a life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I wasn't a virgin at marrisge but I might as well have been. Had one long term college BF and no other sexual experiences. Then married someone else at 28. So I hope you don't mind me answering.

1. How old were you when you married? 28
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to? NA
2. Did you grow up religious? No but very strict/repressive culture
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups? Yes
4. Was your spouse also a virgin? No
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you? Not an issue
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality? I will tell them to enjoy their sexuality - it's normal. Don't wait for arbitrary reason! Learn how to pleasure yourself.
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it? Yes regret it. Not worth it
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life? Yes but wish I had more experiences in my 20s
9. Are you male or female? F
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait?

. Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

Some people are fine just making choices for themselves and not dictating what others have to do.

I guess I would expect this to be a pretty important value if you are willing to wait until your wedding night. I understand not caring to dictate what others do. But I would think you would want your spouse to share the same values that you do.

I'm also confused as to how an experienced person (one who has not held back) would be o.k. with waiting for their wedding night to have sex with their bride/groom. Seems like that would be torture. I'm not putting them down for waiting, just wondering why they would be o.k. with waiting....hope that makes sense.

PP who lost it at 36 here.

MY DH was not a virgin. This was actually something I had thought about prior to meeting him . Would I be ok with it for me it was more important to find someone whose values matched it's not as cut and dry as how long they held on to their virginity. I also realized that a person could be a virgin waiting for marriage and be totally wrong for me. In short it wasn't number one on my list.

In my case DH waited for his wedding to his first wife he was 28 going on 29 at the time. So no he wasn;t a virgin when I met him ,but we had similar values, and he was everything else I wanted in a life partner.

Makes sense. Glad that you found each other. You may not have been his very first but you will be his last and that's the important thing.

[Anonymous]

1. How old were you when you married? 26
2. Are you still married to the spouse you lost your virginity to? Yes.
2. Did you grow up religious? Nope I had very free thinking parents I think choosing to wait was sort of my rebellion.
3. Did you or do you have any sexual hangups? Nope.
4. Was your spouse also a virgin? No
5. If your spouse was more experienced was that an issue for you? Not really. I had always dreamed of a virgin husband. Prior to marriage . In early dating I did wonder if he would compare me to the others he had been with.
6. How do you or will you instruct your children regarding sex and sexuality? Not sure.
7. Do you regret your decision to wait? Was it worth it? No. Somewhat. I am happy with who it was with , but it wan't what I had imagined it to be if that makes sense?
8. Do you and your spouse have an active sex life? average
9. Are you male or female? F
10. When you were single were you open with others about your choice to wait? Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a person who values virginity for themselves would be o.k. with marrying a person who didn't value their own virginity to the point where you are glad that they have experience. What's the point of holding out again? I'm confused...

As others have said being a virgin was mainly my thing. I didn't attach many values to it. I grew up with hippy free love type parents and I think I went to the other direction as a form of rebellion. Weird right?
I did at a time wonder if he would compare me to the 5 he had been with before and if I would be good enough.
I also had a very roomanticized idea of sex and thought It would be "sweet" to lose our virginty to each other and be each other's one and only, but when I met DH that aspect mattered very little to me.