MIL: "You need to exercise"

[Anonymous]

The last couple times I've seen MIL post baby, she has told me I should be exercising. My thoughts on when it could possibly be okay to comment on a DIL's post baby body:

1. If she was some super slim yoga health nut, I could maybe let it go.
EXCEPT, She definitely is not.

2. If this was a genuine health concern, maybe...
EXCEPT, I actually lost all the baby weight and I'm slim to begin with.

3. If this was just how she is and does this to everyone, meh...
EXCEPT, DH hasn't lost the 10 lbs he gained during MY pregnancy. Not a word about his weight.

Yup, I'm pissed!

[Anonymous]

Would you be pissed if your mother said this to you? What about DH? I am trying to determine wether waht she said offends you or was it just the fact that it was her.

[Anonymous]

Tell your DH to talk to her. Her comments are inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she had let herself go after her babies and it slid downhill from there, and is trying to pass along the wisdom so you don't do the same.

That said, I'd be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be pissed if your mother said this to you? What about DH? I am trying to determine wether waht she said offends you or was it just the fact that it was her.

OP here. That is something to think about. I think I would be more hurt than pissed if my mom said this to me. I would be hurt and absolutely LIVID if my husband said it. So I think there is a negative feeling irregardless of who says it.

Btw, I've only ever received compliments or no comments about my figure post baby (which is IMO the only appropriate response). While I recognize my clothes will never fit the same (not to mention this mini muffin thing of skin I got going on) I am on okay terms with my body too which is why her comment feels like a kick in the face.

[Anonymous]

I would respond, "And you need to mind your own business."

Or, "Your son doesn't mind f*cking me, so I don't know why you're concerned."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would respond, "And you need to mind your own business."

Or, "Your son doesn't mind f*cking me, so I don't know why you're concerned."

I do not recommend this approach. I recommend ignoring/letting go.

[Anonymous]

I'd be livid! Of course, I would be so shocked that I'd be unable to say anything in response and would drive myself insane with sarcastic yet witty retorts for days afterwards when I'm alone.

[Anonymous]

I'd laugh it off and tell her "I actually already lost the baby weight I gained and am waiting for DH to do the same, since he gained ten pounds. But you know what you need to do? Stop telling ME what to do!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be pissed if your mother said this to you? What about DH? I am trying to determine wether waht she said offends you or was it just the fact that it was her.

parents need to deal with their own children, end of story. she has no business commenting on your appearance.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is a bitch. Just smile and leave the room when she makes comments. Just know that she is low class and will never change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be livid! Of course, I would be so shocked that I'd be unable to say anything in response and would drive myself insane with sarcastic yet witty retorts for days afterwards when I'm alone.

Exactly This!

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to handle it differently.
If she makes a rude comment once, you ignore and not get hurt (people make mistakes and you have to give them some slack)

Second time or beyond - you say very directly and concisely that you do not want to hear her opinion.

That's it. That's all. If more happens - I'd say it's largely your fault for not handling it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's not a weight-related question.

And, she's right, OP: You do need to exercise. I say that without ever having seen you.

Everyone needs to exercise.

[Anonymous]

First time: "haha don't we all!"
Second time: stony silence
Third time: "you seem very hung up on my weight. is there a reason for this?"