MIL: "You need to exercise"

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:First time: "haha don't we all!"
Second time: stony silence
Third time: "you seem very hung up on my weight. is there a reason for this?"

+1
Anonymous
The first time just look at her blankly and say OK.
If she says it again I'd say 'I'm doing just fine, thanks' and change the subject. If she doesn't catch on to changing the subject all of the time I might be a little more direct/less polite with 'I don't appreciate your comments about my weight/health. It's not up for discussion'. It would take me a while to get there though.
Anonymous
"That is a great idea, dear MIL. So please come by M-W-F by 6:30 AM to watch baby while I go to the gym. I expect to be back around 10 those days. Thanks!"
Anonymous
PP here, I like 14:15's approach
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's not a weight-related question.

And, she's right, OP: You do need to exercise. I say that without ever having seen you.

Everyone needs to exercise.


Whether MIL is right or not is irrelevant. She needs to STFU and mind her own business.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's not a weight-related question.

And, she's right, OP: You do need to exercise. I say that without ever having seen you.

Everyone needs to exercise.


+1. Exercise isn't just a way to punish overweight people.
Anonymous
"You've mentioned that before. I understand that is your opinion. I don't want to discuss it again."
Anonymous
I love these Monster In Law stories. It brings out the hate QUICK. I hope you all have sons.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:First time: "haha don't we all!"
Second time: stony silence
Third time: "you seem very hung up on my weight. is there a reason for this?"


Great response.

MY MIL has a heart of gold and there are things she says to me that she thinks she is being helpful or kind, but has no idea how insulting they are (after about the 5th time). I called her on it (very nicely) and she has gotten better. Some examples- I make a lot from scratch (not using a lot of pre-packaged/processed stuff) so there can be more dishes than she would have - so the need to tell me I need to simply my life. Every visit. For three years. Finally she looked at me one time and said, Do you know what you need to do? I looked at her blankly and said - Simply my life? She looked mortified. I don't think she realized how often she had said it to me. Have not heard it since then. Although....when I was pregnant, she would tell me (in every conversation for all 9 months) that she was telling her friends that she hoped the baby had my hair and my husbands brains She was trying to be complimentary....she doesn't have a mean bone in her body- but around the 10th time I heard that.... I cringed. Luckily, I haven't heard it since the baby came!

ANYWAY...love the response from the PP!
Anonymous
Well, my MIL told me that if I did not lose weight, that I "would no longer be appealing to DH."

This was after my DH had been chasing me around all morning and talking about how motherhood had finally given me a nice behind.

I laughed at her.
Anonymous
My MIL was more passive aggressive. My Christmas gift post baby was a low fat cookbook from the '90s that she clearly got off the Walmart clearance shelf. The year was 2010.
Anonymous
What was the context OP?

Were you complaining about how you felt sluggish post baby? How holiday weight won't come off? How you felt tired after going for a walk?

Tone is, obviously, important, but DCUMers don't have that infor so at least give us how MIL supposedly insulted you. Sometimes MIL come across as brash and don't use filters. It sucks, it happens though.

Plus, if your MIL is otherwise a loving person, perhaps YOU misinterpreted it and are brewing about simply b/c it was your MIL who brought it up.

And just b/c you are slim and back to pre-baby weight, doesn't mean you're healthy - cardio, muscle tone, etc are still really important and can be easily overlooked even if you do fit back in your normal jeans.

So, yea, you probably should be exercising regardless of whether you're post partum or not.
Anonymous
Just ignore her! Yes exercising is important but shouldn't be brought up to a new mommy with all the postpartum depression, changes in body sensitivity and hormones!!

Where was DH during all this?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH to talk to her. Her comments are inappropriate.


They are not. Rude but not inappropriate, particularly. If she still has a fsy, jiggly belly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tell your DH to talk to her. Her comments are inappropriate.


They are not. Rude but not inappropriate, particularly. If she still has a fsy, jiggly belly.


Agree.

So, OP, are you exercising? You should, it's healthy habit on a lot of different levels. Your MIL just called you out on it and you just didn't want to hear it.

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