Brother refuses to allow use of his room

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02/23/2015 14:20

Subject: Brother refuses to allow use of his room

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Anonymous

Ok, I know i will get flamed for being young, but I really would appreciate some input.

I am 25, I lived at college on my own, in my own apartment, and stayed there afterward, working and with my own place. About 8 months ago I moved home to DC, and to save on the higher rents (I went to college and lived in a very large city that had much lower rent) while I studied for the LSAT, I decided to live with my father, who my little brother (20) was also staying with. My father lives in a tiny townhouse, and I moved into the small bedroom on the second floor, next to my father's room. My brother lived in the basement, in a room that was essentially a "hangout room/den", and takes up almost the entire floorpan, probably 30 by 50 feet.

My brother has had a lot of issues. Had to drop out of HS and get his GED, finally went to community college (everyone in my famiyl has gone to 4 year schools) and has been in trouble for minor issues with the law a couple of times (such as, driving without registration in VA, which he ended up being banned from VA for a year or so). He smokes weed constantly- there was a stream of people coming in and out of the house, some regulars and some new people, that would go down to his room in the basement to smoke a bowl.

Now, this made it extremely difficult to study for the LSATS (i am not a weed smoker, and dont like all the noise from the mass of teenage boys as they play video games), and created tension between me and him. On one occasion it escalated to a physical altercation, wherein he ended up throwing me down the stairs and putting me in a headlock.

I was extremely shaken up and wanted to leave or get him to see a therapist with me, but he refused. Things ended up calming down and I made the decision to stay in the house for the time being, while looking for somewhere to move.

Anyway, this past January he started at a school in VA. He was driving there (it's 4 hours away), and my father found him an apartment, and he moved in.

This past weekend, however, I got the nasty surprise that he had come back for the weekend. Back came the stream of people coming in and smoking weed.

When I mentioned offhandedly that I wanted to use his (now vacant) room to study in, he flipped out. Apparently no one is allowed to even walk in his room because it's permanently his and he will be coming back on the weekends.

Now, my room is tiny- maybe 10 by 10 feet and filled with boxes stacked up because I plan on moving again soon. It's so nice to be able to just get up and stretch my legs and go down to a room where I can pace in between studying or otherwise move around. I think it's absurd that he expects this room to be kept just for him. I have four siblings in total and grew up in a three bedroom house, where it was essentially musical bedrooms. The idea that he wants to keep this room while he is hours away living in an apartment seems ridiculous, especially as I dont plan on making any changes, just using a table in it to study.

My question is: why is my brother so upset about this? And is it reasonable to expect to use an unused, vacant room to study in?