Deeply regret marrying my low earning husband

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that he cheated on you, but can't you see how gross it is for you to expect him to support you?

- a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a divorce. And get a career.

I think you have a mistaken view of what it takes to be a homeowner and a parent. Most people are not SAHMs in areas like DC.

FWIW, my exH and I built our life because both of us worked. In fact, he would not let me stay home with kids (which is why I did not want kids with him because I wanted to stay home only in babyhood). Babies came anyway. I worked.

When we were dating, he would not date a woman who was not making six figures. I am divorced and okay only because I never stopped working.

You need a career first.

Bad example fir egg hi server you were trying to prove. Something about you made you pick and stick with a loser.

Some men do not care about their wife's salary. Some do.
Yeah...family pressure saying I was "too old' to be single...it was a mistake. (He would not call himself a loser...he does okay...GS-15).

A GS-15 is not a loser. The fact that you do says more about you, none of it good. If you can't afford kids on a GS-15 salary, it's on you. You might have to compromise on your home's location or size, but $170K+ is not peanuts. Certainly it's way more than you earn, so it's not clear what gives you the standing to look down on him.

What are you talking about? I am not OP. I was commenting on someone saying something was wrong with ME for marrying a loser. My ex is the GS-15 who demanded a 100k plus earning wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a divorce. And get a career.

I think you have a mistaken view of what it takes to be a homeowner and a parent. Most people are not SAHMs in areas like DC.

FWIW, my exH and I built our life because both of us worked. In fact, he would not let me stay home with kids (which is why I did not want kids with him because I wanted to stay home only in babyhood). Babies came anyway. I worked.

When we were dating, he would not date a woman who was not making six figures. I am divorced and okay only because I never stopped working.

You need a career first.

Bad example fir egg hi server you were trying to prove. Something about you made you pick and stick with a loser.

Some men do not care about their wife's salary. Some do.
Yeah...family pressure saying I was "too old' to be single...it was a mistake. (He would not call himself a loser...he does okay...GS-15).

A GS-15 is not a loser. The fact that you do says more about you, none of it good. If you can't afford kids on a GS-15 salary, it's on you. You might have to compromise on your home's location or size, but $170K+ is not peanuts. Certainly it's way more than you earn, so it's not clear what gives you the standing to look down on him.

What are you talking about? I am not OP. I was commenting on someone saying something was wrong with ME for marrying a loser. My ex is the GS-15 who demanded a 100k plus earning wife.

Immediate PP...and my point to OP was that a lot of men who make good salaries expect their wives to work and earn a decent amount. Staying home was not an option in my marriage. OP is delusional if she thinks most people SAH. My ex would not even date her.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

You’re an ass op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a divorce. And get a career.

I think you have a mistaken view of what it takes to be a homeowner and a parent. Most people are not SAHMs in areas like DC.

FWIW, my exH and I built our life because both of us worked. In fact, he would not let me stay home with kids (which is why I did not want kids with him because I wanted to stay home only in babyhood). Babies came anyway. I worked.

When we were dating, he would not date a woman who was not making six figures. I am divorced and okay only because I never stopped working.

You need a career first.

Bad example fir egg hi server you were trying to prove. Something about you made you pick and stick with a loser.

I don't know why but "fir egg hi server" is cracking me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn. Get that money yourself girlfriend. I wanted to be a sahm too. But then I had a fantastic job and was a bit miserable on maternity leave. Glad I had kids and made my own money instead. Why are you putting your life on hold for some sahm pipe dream?? Get a good job and have kids. Put them in a great daycare.

Op here. I have realized too late that I made a mistake by prematurely mommy tracking myself even when I had no kids in anticipation of kids.

Problem is I am an admin and I don’t know how to get out and make more money. I feel trapped.

Start a business. When you do, your past jobs don’t matter.

[Anonymous]

You had no ambition yourself and married someone just like you. You are as guilty as he is and maybe even more so.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m sorry you are in such a situation. Ignore the mean and nasty PPs. Based on your OP, it sounds like you have been a loving, patient and kind wife. You have endured a bad marriage with a cheating drunk and now you deserve better! As others have said, it’s time to leave your cheating jerk of a husband and focus on improving your life on your terms.

[Anonymous]

Deeply Regret Marrying My Overweight Wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about burying the lede:

"Meanwhile, the stress of not being able to make ends meet turned who was once a wonderful man into a mean and cheating drunk. Yes he has cheated on me on top of everything else."

I mean, he's making money now so low earnings is no longer the issue. Be glad you don't have kids because your DH is a cheating drunk. GET OUT

Op here. Citing work stress and frustration my husband went on a bender where he would get blackout drunk and not come home.

He finally got that under control, quit his job and started a business. It’s surprisingly doing well.

But I am now bitter and angry and hurt.

Get a job, OP, and start solving your own problems instead of waiting for your husband to suddenly solve them and magically become some high-earning dream guy. You're not owed a life of SAH. Seek counselling.

[Anonymous]

OP has got to be a troll

[Anonymous]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

OP won the jackpot!!!

[Anonymous]

OP I hope you didn't come here looking for compassion or advice. Expect insults and judgement from the oh so perfect people who never made mistakes or anything stupid when they were young.

[Anonymous]

OP not sure if you're still reading. Understandable if you're not. The unkindness on this site seems worse than ever.

Anyway, how old are you? Things like this seem hopeless until they're not. Maybe you married the wrong guy. You can course correct. You can earn money. You can find someone different. Point is it's not hopeless. I became a single mom by choice bc I never met the guy. I'm a well respected (in my profession) high earner. People *still* judged the sh*t out of me, especially the men, lol. You know what? F*ck 'em. You get one life, and my DS is the best decision I ever made. I wouldn't change a thing.

Give yourself time to assess how you got here. Ignore posters calling you names. Start making plans, whether it's to see your own counselor, consider how you'd like to grow professionally, or even talking to your H to see if things can be salvaged, and if not, how to part ways with minimal drama. Progress begets progress. You can do it.