DD (17) says she has “baby fever”

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a single mom? Is her dad in her life, and is he a good dad? Wondering if that comes into play here.

[Anonymous]

A lot of girls in my HS talk like this. This is a Title One HS with mostly low-income students. Only a handful of kids go to college and some don't graduate. Many of the girls talk about being moms. It is also cultural. If all of the women in your life have babies in their teens, it becomes normal. It's hard to watch smart girls talk like this. In other circumstances, they would be talking about college, not having a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I think people here just aren't very understanding of teens who want kids. DS17 has wanted kids for years. He'd never say he has baby fever, but he has made it clear that he wants to raise a family and do it sooner rather than later. He's a good student, going to college and will likely play a sport while he's there, and has friends (but no girlfriend), so it's not like he's not doing normal teen things either. But he has wanted kids for years and talks about it.

It's okay, OP. It doesn't mean she is pregnant or planning to get pregnant. It may just mean that she likes and wants kids. That's a good thing, not a bad thing.

I don't think it's a good thing for a 17-year old to be fixated on wanting kids and a family.

He doesn't sound fixated to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I think people here just aren't very understanding of teens who want kids. DS17 has wanted kids for years. He'd never say he has baby fever, but he has made it clear that he wants to raise a family and do it sooner rather than later. He's a good student, going to college and will likely play a sport while he's there, and has friends (but no girlfriend), so it's not like he's not doing normal teen things either. But he has wanted kids for years and talks about it.

It's okay, OP. It doesn't mean she is pregnant or planning to get pregnant. It may just mean that she likes and wants kids. That's a good thing, not a bad thing.

I don't think it's a good thing for a 17-year old to be fixated on wanting kids and a family.

He doesn't sound fixated to me.

I hope he isn't. I was that 17 year old that wanted kids and a family and wanted them young, but my life did not unfold that way and it was a source of depression for me.

[Anonymous]

I knew I wanted babies (eventually) at 17. I had my first at 31. Saying you’re sure you want kids don’t necessarily mean you’re going to make irresponsible choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you a single mom? Is her dad in her life, and is he a good dad? Wondering if that comes into play here.

OP here. We are a DCUM middle class two-parent household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her babysit a colicky child.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of my friends said this. None of them got pregnant.

It's probably just friends talking, but babies love unconditionally - is she wanting more closeness and something to love or cuddle her? Does she still cuddle a little with you or have girlfriends to snuggle up to once and awhile?

Is this a thing?

I would say it's a little more common when the friends have sisters but yes I do this with my friends and dd does with hers and it seems pretty common to me. Especially when teens. Why, do your kids not get close? I don't mean like nestling in, but like 2 teens laying side by side on the couch (lengthwise), or sitting right close during a movie so they are kind of pressed together, stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew I wanted babies (eventually) at 17. I had my first at 31. Saying you’re sure you want kids don’t necessarily mean you’re going to make irresponsible choices.

+1 I KNEW I wanted a baby when I was a teenager. Had baby fever in my early 20s. I wanted to hold babies I saw so much it hurt.
But... I finished law school and got married before having a baby at 28.

[Anonymous]

I wanted kids starting from when I was 16, OP. I met someone, married, had my first at 25, while in grad school. Some people are just baby people. I've always loved babies. I only have good memories of my children as infants, even if my daughter who woke up at least 6 times a night for the first 2 years of her life. Babies make me happy.

It doesn't mean she can't ALSO go to a grad school and be a working professional. What she does will depend on how good at impulse control she is. You should work on that, and treat any sign of ADHD, the impulse control killer.

[Anonymous]

Time for an IUD. That’ll last through college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I think people here just aren't very understanding of teens who want kids. DS17 has wanted kids for years. He'd never say he has baby fever, but he has made it clear that he wants to raise a family and do it sooner rather than later. He's a good student, going to college and will likely play a sport while he's there, and has friends (but no girlfriend), so it's not like he's not doing normal teen things either. But he has wanted kids for years and talks about it.

It's okay, OP. It doesn't mean she is pregnant or planning to get pregnant. It may just mean that she likes and wants kids. That's a good thing, not a bad thing.

I don't think it's a good thing for a 17-year old to be fixated on wanting kids and a family.

He doesn't sound fixated to me.

I'm.the PP with DS17. He's not fixated. He just knows he wants a family some day.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was in my late teens and early 20s I had a really strong, hormonal "aww so cute, I want one!" feeling whenever I saw babies. I obviously didn't want one and intellectually knew this. Oddly now that I'm in my 30s and my partner and I have talked more seriously about having kids, I don't have that really have that instinctual feeling so strongly--I'm not sure if it's just hormones dying down or being on the pill or what, even though I like kids and we want to have them sometime in the next couple years. I think part of it is the hormones pulsing through you in your late teens. The same reason you are horny all the time and it's impossible to not think about sex at that age. It's sort of key biological time to reproduce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was like that too. Had her first at 17. Had five kids by the time she was 27.

Yep. My Aunt had her first at 16– after getting pregnant on purpose. Got married at 16. And had 4 kids before age 25. Very Catholic UMC upbringing. Not a good situation. Divorced on welfare and food stamps for years. I’d be concerned too OP.

I would probably go for a dose of reality. Exactly no sane mom is leaving a 17 year old alone with a newborn for a weekend. But there are moms who need help and don’t have family. They would hire her for a $15 an hour mother’s helper/night nurse gig. Have her do 8-10 hour night nurse shifts, 5-6 days a week, *in addition to school*. Get up with the baby, change diapers, comfort, bring her to mom to feed or give the baby a bottle. Starting Day 1 with a baby with no sense of night and day who cries for 2 hours straight and a weepy first time mom recovering from a C-section struggling to breast feed. Then make her come home from a night of almost no sleep and go to school. I give her a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s already pregnant.

OMG! This is it!

Ouch. Sorry Op. But they are right. Hand her a stick to pee on.