DD (17) says she has “baby fever”

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am seriously concerned about this.


Without more details it’s hard to give advice. How is she doing in school? How old is she? Does she have a boyfriend?
Anonymous
My sister was like that too. Had her first at 17. Had five kids by the time she was 27.
Anonymous
Lots of my friends said this. None of them got pregnant.

It's probably just friends talking, but babies love unconditionally - is she wanting more closeness and something to love or cuddle her? Does she still cuddle a little with you or have girlfriends to snuggle up to once and awhile?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am seriously concerned about this.


the previous suggestions might help but it might be that she perceives a baby as someone who will love her, or that it is something that will give her purpose, maybe it’s something she feels she can’t fail at ,

At 17, having a baby can look easier than we understand. Think about where most 17 yr olds see babies - social media, tv, out in stores - all times babies are usually dressed in cute outfits smiling with smiling parents dancing to cute songs or making cute faces, sitting in strollers or carts not moving around, tv is the worst babies always show up in a scene wide awake and leave quickly to be out down to sleep and the parent returns like a minute later claiming the baby fell right to sleep …
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Lots of my friends said this. None of them got pregnant.

It's probably just friends talking, but babies love unconditionally - is she wanting more closeness and something to love or cuddle her? Does she still cuddle a little with you or have girlfriends to snuggle up to once and awhile?


Is this a thing?
Anonymous
She needs to start babysitting,.if she already hasn't. Start taking care of other people's kids first.
Anonymous
It's time for her to start babysitting.
Anonymous
I worked with kids who had babies in high school in a job out of college and most of them were just stuck. No college. Even getting time to get community college classes was hard for one person I worked with who wanted to be a nurse. Struggling to afford diapers. If they were lucky a grandparent might be around to help with childcare. Dads rarely had any role.

It was just a vicious and pernicious cycle of poverty.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I worked with kids who had babies in high school in a job out of college and most of them were just stuck. No college. Even getting time to get community college classes was hard for one person I worked with who wanted to be a nurse. Struggling to afford diapers. If they were lucky a grandparent might be around to help with childcare. Dads rarely had any role.

It was just a vicious and pernicious cycle of poverty.


OP here. I know that.
Anonymous
+1 to babysitting. She can get the snuggles she’s craving, along with the slap in the face of diaper changes, spit up, screaming and crying. Win-win.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She says she wants a baby. Advice?


I'd focus on talking to her about why she feels this way and how we can handle the feelings together, I'd save laying down the hard truths about young motherhood until after.
Anonymous
Make her watch 16 & pregnant and Teen Mom. Seriously.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Make her watch 16 & pregnant and Teen Mom. Seriously.


Just the first season or two. After that, the girls got lots of money from the show and started buying nice homes, cars, vacations, etc.
Anonymous
She’s already pregnant.
Anonymous
100% she needs to start babysitting. Once she’s 18 she can work at a daycare center. She could go to a Mcps prek or kindergarten classroom for SSL hours after school (pre-covid anyway).
I like the idea of making her watch 16 and pregnant and the first couple seasons of Teen Mom. As someone else said though, things get better as the moms start making more mtv money so that could be a slippery slope.
Two things she really needs impressed upon her:
1. Babies grow up into children. One day they’ll be less cute and snuggly.
2. All your freedom and wants/needs will never come first again once you are a parent.
Both seem obvious to adults but as the child of a teen mom, I was made acutely aware of these 2 points when it became clear that I was drawn to babies and little kids (and they to me).
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