Anxiety about average kids

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me sad. So much focus on material success and hardly any on whether your kids will be healthy (physically and mentally) or happy/content. So many of you act like their health and happiness are foregone conclusions when we have been seeing more and more how so many of our young people are struggling mentally. Money isn't going to help a kid who hates themselves or can't deal with life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. So much focus on material success and hardly any on whether your kids will be healthy (physically and mentally) or happy/content. So many of you act like their health and happiness are foregone conclusions when we have been seeing more and more how so many of our young people are struggling mentally. Money isn't going to help a kid who hates themselves or can't deal with life.

it's a lot easier to be heathy and happy with money than without

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to echo the comments of others. I am in senior management at a tech company, and my fancy Ivy League undergrad is actually an outlier among my colleagues. many went to foreign schools, but many others when to nothing-fancy schools here in the US. They all have a lot of drive, though, and other skills that helped push them to the top.

This is good to hear. (Not the OP.)

[Anonymous]

I would have worded things differently than OP but I think it is pretty smart to think about all of these things. And sometimes I do get a bit anxious- like when I look at the rising cost of education, the necessity of graduate school for so many jobs, the housing market, etc. Absolutely want my kids to be happy, independent, contributing members of society. I hope they are able to pursue careers they love without having to make a sacrifice- but the reality is that you do need a certain amount of money to live, and a certain amount to raise a family. Raising a family in a city is more expensive, but there are more job opportunities. Competitive colleges can open doors, but state schools often open the same or similar doors.

Anyway, to curb my fears, I am saving as much as I can in my kids 529s and will encourage my children to make choices that will limit their debt. I will also encourage them to set up Roth accounts as soon as they are working, and maybe provide some type of matching contribution if I am able. I will teach them financial education topics and do my best to offer them help throughout my lifetime. I will be realistic with them about career pursuits. Certain careers pay more. Yes, you need to be happy. But sometimes you have to be realistic about what makes a career and what makes a hobby. And I have life insurance in case anything happens to me sooner than planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. So much focus on material success and hardly any on whether your kids will be healthy (physically and mentally) or happy/content. So many of you act like their health and happiness are foregone conclusions when we have been seeing more and more how so many of our young people are struggling mentally. Money isn't going to help a kid who hates themselves or can't deal with life.

it's a lot easier to be heathy and happy with money than without

+1

Banks and supermarkets don’t accept love as currency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. So much focus on material success and hardly any on whether your kids will be healthy (physically and mentally) or happy/content. So many of you act like their health and happiness are foregone conclusions when we have been seeing more and more how so many of our young people are struggling mentally. Money isn't going to help a kid who hates themselves or can't deal with life.

it's a lot easier to be heathy and happy with money than without

+1

Banks and supermarkets don’t accept love as currency.

Of course it's always preferable to have more money than not. No one argued to the contrary. Also, the sky is blue.

But you and most of the other PPs are worrying solely about how much money your kids will have. It's so shallow and superficial. Classic DUCM, though.

[Anonymous]

There has always been income inequality. There always will be. Success in life has very little to do with where one went to college. Stop putting this pressure on your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me sad. So much focus on material success and hardly any on whether your kids will be healthy (physically and mentally) or happy/content. So many of you act like their health and happiness are foregone conclusions when we have been seeing more and more how so many of our young people are struggling mentally. Money isn't going to help a kid who hates themselves or can't deal with life.

it's a lot easier to be heathy and happy with money than without

+1

Banks and supermarkets don’t accept love as currency.

But people on this website have NO clue how little currency you really need to be happy and healthy. None. Some UMC people fret obsessively about their kids being able to attend elite institutions so they can set them up financially but then forget that their kids have insecurities and struggle with loneliness and feel a ton of pressure to please their parents because their parents have invested so much money in them.

Many people do not have enough to meet their needs, it is true. But it's highly unlikely that one single parent commenting on this thread falls into that category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly yes but we are over-saving now to leave them money. We have 3 and if we died tomorrow, they’d each get around 2.5 million. Not enough to coast for life obv but a nice stepping stone.

This is the best answer. If you have the ability, forgo luxury for yourself and save save save now to give your kids a better life.

Education is no longer the path to future prosperity. Money and investment is. You need to be part of the investment class to do well now.

Could you talk a little more about this? Does this mean being able to save for retirement or something else? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I 100% feel this way and I hate that I do. I think living here has fueled my anxiety. When we lived in midwest pre-kids, I didn't see this around me, but here it is pervasive. My H and I both went to great schools, were high achievers in school, and have built a big nest egg that we will likely pass on to our children. Our kids are in elementary, yet here I am worrying that they don't seem all that resilient/great at being a leader and they aren't in AAP. I wish we could just pick up and move back to the midwest and be happy with a 4 bedroom house and a state college education. Instead I stay up worrying that my kids won't have jobs that give them a comfortable lifestyle...but all that has gotten me is a bunch of anxiety! And yes, I'm totally in therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to echo the comments of others. I am in senior management at a tech company, and my fancy Ivy League undergrad is actually an outlier among my colleagues. many went to foreign schools, but many others when to nothing-fancy schools here in the US. They all have a lot of drive, though, and other skills that helped push them to the top.

+1. I would say the one exception where college admission really dies matter is for first gen kids and kids from low income communities. For a kid at Cardoza, getting into an Ivy can truly be life changing.