Concerned about socioeconomic difference within our family

[Anonymous]

This may be shocking to OP. There will ALWAYS be someone smarter, funnier, thinner, better looking and richer than YOU. Get over it, be thankful for what you do have and get on with your life!

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm teaching my kid that unchecked economic inequality is immoral and behind a lot of our problems as a society and we need political change to rein it in and provide basic human rights to our neighbors. So you could radicalize your kid a s n another option, but it probably entails some changes in your spending so YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

Exactly. It’s really sad.

[Anonymous]

What about the environmental impact you and these other two families are imposing on others and your own children? Can you and they reduce your international travel some for the sake of the climate? It matters a lot…a lot more than impressing your circle does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

Lucky you. Great income in your immediate family plus relatives who are peers with mega $. Instead of comparing yourself perhaps if you are pleasant they will invite your family to vacation at one of their gorgeous homes. If they buy any but don't expect to go to their relatives homes.

We had nothing growing up but a house + a stable family. When I saw the thread I thought it would be about struggle to pay rent-mortgage on lower priced abode, no money to shod a kids ever growing feet, keep the house at 60 or 58 in the winter from 9pm to 6am.

[Anonymous]

OP I'll give you a serious answer (although I agree with most of the people giving you a hard time). There is always someone richer. Your sister has someone they think this about. Your SIL knows someone richer than she is.

There is always someone with more money. You get to decide if you spend the rest of your life thinking about those people, or being grateful and happy for what you have. One path is a lot happier and more rewarding than the other path. As the saying goes, money can't buy happiness.

[Anonymous]

Meanwhile, people in Afghanistan are dying trying to get on a plane. What a beautiful world we live in. So proud of you, OP. You are the best human ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't project your class anxiety onto your kids. At $500K a year, they will be fine. YOU'RE worried about being less wealthy than your sisters.

OP here. I definitely feel extreme class anxiety and awkwardness about their gradual ascension into the Nova "upper class" if you can call it that, during the past few years ever since they met their husbands-to-be. I was never very close with my SIL but its definitely made it a little harder to relate to my sister. It doesn't really help that both of them are very into class/status and are the kinds of people who love to do certain things to be perceived a certain way.

These are red flags in and of themselves. Stay away from these types of people, keep contact polite and cordial, but develop you own set of "friends who are like family." You will never win trying to compare yourself to status-hungry people who try to make their lives Facebook perfect. You may not have the "close family feeling" that you wish you had. However, this is not due to the money issue. It's due to their superior attitude about money and status in general.

As far as your kids asking questions, tell them "there will always be people with more than you, and people with less than you." Leave it at that.

My BIL is worth $100+ million. He is one the most down to earth people I know, and doesn't rub it in anyone's face. Sure, he has an expensive house, and might take a luxurious vacation or two, but he doesn't automatically assume everyone else is jealous. It's all about the attitude.

[Anonymous]

Well done, OP.

*slow clap*

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for you, OP. It must be really hard to hide poverty.

[Anonymous]

I call troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

Dh and I will never make that kind of money in our lifetimes. But I still feel wealthy by comparison to my friends and neighbors. OP, I understand you're having a hard time with this and really do need to work on your feelings but please realize that you are doing very well indeed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

Exactly. It’s really sad.

I can’t even imagine the difficulty.

[Anonymous]

This is why I am so glad we moved to MD. Nobody has time for this NoVa bull shit and southern status and wealth nonsense.
You and your sisters are nothing but vapid empty creatures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I'm teaching my kid that unchecked economic inequality is immoral and behind a lot of our problems as a society and we need political change to rein it in and provide basic human rights to our neighbors. So you could radicalize your kid a s n another option, but it probably entails some changes in your spending so YMMV.

OP makes $500k! I totally agree though.