Concerned about socioeconomic difference within our family

[Anonymous]

Who even takes the time to write such an uinane question? Your poor little rich kids will see that there are richer kids than they in the world and your poor little richer relatives will see that others have more as well. You all will survive it like everyone else does. Focus on some real problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And that’s enough DCUM for today. I’m done.

+1. This may be the one to make me finally quit. Thanks, OP.

+1 hoping this isn’t real

[Anonymous]

Op, it is not "odd" for a child to grow up w/cousins in a different economic circumstance. They learn. They all learn something from each other. Keep working on bettering your attitude as you don't want *you* to become the problem, talking about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I do understand how it could be difficult for both sides of the family. We are MC and we have family living on welfare, and we try not to flaunt vacations or our nice comfortable house over their section 8 housing. In this scenario, OP is easily much poorer than my welfare sibling when you compare income ratios.

I would expect your sisters will gradually ghost you, so I really wouldn't stress about it.

I'm the poor sibling (not quite on welfare, but close). My rich sibling just bought a 3.75M house with something like 8 or 9 bathrooms and a cottage in the back. They bring special bottles of wine to the people who work at the resort they go to in Mexico or Hawaii (I can't keep track). They only fly first class, and SIL has a personal trainer who comes to their house. It's not a big deal - sometimes I buy things for them that are in my price range, and little gifts for the kids. I don't buy cheap stuff, but do wait until it's on clearance at Gap or CB2 so I can afford it. When they invite me over for dinner, I bring dessert. I am not jealous of them - they are my relatives and I want them to do well and enjoy their lives..

+1 This is the attitude you should take. Be happy for them that they are doing well. We have a SIL who went into finance and is wealthy. Our thinking is better that she is wealthy than someone else unrelated to us. And you can also go to them for financial or tech advice.

[Anonymous]

We have these discrepancies in our families. The relatives who have less are very hospitable and love to host us for holiday meals, cook outs, bon fires, and what have you. We help them out when they have cash flow issues, but generally everyone lives their lives and mind their own business. We may take more exotic vacations but don't ever flaunt them, and when we can, we chip in so they can participate in some vacations that they otherwise wouldn't be able to.

It would serve you well to always remember that you've earned your place in the world. Hold your head high and live your best life. If anyone looks down at your lifestyle, they're so shallow they're not worth your mental energy.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. I have friends that made $2 million a year and then got a windfall from a business sale over $100 million. They live in a gigantic house, 24/7 nanny, etc. They are also deeply unhappy. I don't wish for that!

[Anonymous]

I don't see the problem. This is your family. Your kids will benefit from this. I'm sure they'll be invited to spend time at their homes and vacation homes. They can observe how the upper crust live and this will motivate them to do even better.

[Anonymous]

Grow
The
Eff
Up!

[Anonymous]

Go read the Food stamps thread. In a politics form then come report back.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, clearly the filthy rich relatives need to drop off bags of old clothing, last month's Vogue and Town & Country, and a big can of bacon grease for you on a regular basis. On Christmas a turkey, and if you play your cards right, a check.

Your poor unborn children.

[Anonymous]

So you’re rich and worried because you’re not AS rich as them?

I have no words.

[Anonymous]

Poor OP! Can only afford one serving of porridge for her kids.

[Anonymous]

Own your choices.
You could have more money than them but choose not to spend it on such conspicuous consumption items...so pretend that is the case.
Teach your children values other than "let's spend all our money on things that show off how much money we have"

Judge your family by how they act, not what they have/wear/own and hope they do the same for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

You are screwed and doomed to be very unhappy in life. Your kids will always be the poor cousins. You will have to suck up to the sisters and their DHs and maybe they will throw some scraps your way. Besides, how come these women got married to wealthy men and you were only able to get your hands on a low earning male? I hope you do not have other issues like infertility, health problems, adultery, abuse and addiction because you do not have any buffer to weather these things. No advice. Just a lot of pity for your poorness and terrible life choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

LOL