Concerned about socioeconomic difference within our family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

Considering . . . what?

Clearly they would be better off in foster care, the Warbucks Agency can help with placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

Every time I read this, I die laughing.

[Anonymous]

Make sure that they, your DH, and any children they or you may have clearly understand that you feel inferior to your sisters. It is important for you to pass on your values to the next generation, namely your conviction that wealth is virtue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

Every time I read this, I die laughing.

Yep. The addition of “considering” is the perfect touch.

[Anonymous]

I could see how this situation could sting if you are the sort of person who constantly compares yourself to others. The solution is to grow up, develop some good family values, and be thankful every day that you have far more money than you need to raise your kids well and achieve whatever reasonable goals you may have. We have friends and neighbors who are vastly wealthier than we, but I do not envy them the difference between our extremely comfortable income and their massive riches. I have never wanted to buy a private plane, invest in race cars or sports teams, stay in 7-star hotels, etc., though I certainly don’t mind when they invite us to tag along on their adventures!

[Anonymous]

OMG. Is this for real? There is no class difference in your family. I have a cousins who is a multimillionaire whose one sib lives in a trailer park with kids who deal drugs, another sib is a courtesy driver for a car mechanic, and the rest are grease monkeys doing just fine for themselves. They were raised middle class before it was defined only as white collar.

[Anonymous]

I suspect this is a troll post, but here goes anyway.

My DH’s brother is very wealthy - he’s a high earner and married a woman with a significant trust fund. My husband and I are very comfortable and feel fortunate for that, but there is absolutely a huge difference between our lifestyle and theirs.

It’s NOT A BIG DEAL unless you make it a big deal. My young DD has asked about lifestyle differences, like why is our house so much smaller for example. The answer is, “Because Uncle ___ makes tons of money and good for him. We don’t have as much money as he does but we have all we need, lots of what we want, and feel really grateful for that.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

I'm weeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It must be very difficult to live off of only $500k a year. Sorry you are poor.

Right? I love that OP thinks that $500k is "just" middle class, and not upper middle class or flat out rich.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I do understand how it could be difficult for both sides of the family. We are MC and we have family living on welfare, and we try not to flaunt vacations or our nice comfortable house over their section 8 housing. In this scenario, OP is easily much poorer than my welfare sibling when you compare income ratios.

I would expect your sisters will gradually ghost you, so I really wouldn't stress about it.

[Anonymous]

It won't matter whatsoever. I grew up UMC with blue blood ivy league building donator cousins and aside from a few cultural differences there was no issue at all -- its no different than having poor cousins. Like once my cousin said "flying commercial makes me so nervous" You just have to be polite and understand their POV

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won't matter whatsoever. I grew up UMC with blue blood ivy league building donator cousins and aside from a few cultural differences there was no issue at all -- its no different than having poor cousins. Like once my cousin said "flying commercial makes me so nervous" You just have to be polite and understand their POV

It sucks to be the relative "poor".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I do understand how it could be difficult for both sides of the family. We are MC and we have family living on welfare, and we try not to flaunt vacations or our nice comfortable house over their section 8 housing. In this scenario, OP is easily much poorer than my welfare sibling when you compare income ratios.

I would expect your sisters will gradually ghost you, so I really wouldn't stress about it.

I'm the poor sibling (not quite on welfare, but close). My rich sibling just bought a 3.75M house with something like 8 or 9 bathrooms and a cottage in the back. They bring special bottles of wine to the people who work at the resort they go to in Mexico or Hawaii (I can't keep track). They only fly first class, and SIL has a personal trainer who comes to their house. It's not a big deal - sometimes I buy things for them that are in my price range, and little gifts for the kids. I don't buy cheap stuff, but do wait until it's on clearance at Gap or CB2 so I can afford it. When they invite me over for dinner, I bring dessert. I am not jealous of them - they are my relatives and I want them to do well and enjoy their lives..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into a MC family when I married my DH. I grew up UMC/UC when I was younger so I know that lifestyle well. Unfortunately my parents mismanaged their money so I do not have a trust fund or what have you as is customary of my set. Together DH and I make a good income now in our early thirties. 500K or so depending on how his business does per year. We are pretty happy considering. Both our sisters however, happened to marry significantly wealthy men. One is marrying an investment banker and they aren't even 30th yet and live a life very few can afford. The other is marrying a well-to-do techie who is obviously a tech superstar in addition to coming from a wealthy family who own many properties and constantly gift them getaways and other fun treats.

I know my husband and I are fortunate but now compared to the drastically different lifestyles of our immediate siblings...we feel...less than. And I am working through my own feelings and coming to terms with having a very wealthy sister in law and sister, in the back of my mind, I worry about the financial discrepancy any children we have might feel. It must be odd for a little child to grow up with cousins who live fabulously wealthy lives.

I am unsure how to navigate this issue which I know from experience will eventually come up. Advice? Thoughts?

You’re so jealous. Maybe work on that part of your personality. Being defined by dollars is so unattractive e.

[Anonymous]

This navel gazing post is completely insufferable. Watch the news, OP. Be grateful and proud.