How do I make it so my kids are not like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep the devices out of the house as long as possible.

When you do have them, set a fixed schedule and don't deviate.

This is a great recipe for obsessed kids who have no self regulation skills.

[Anonymous]

I actually did the opposite. I let the kids have as much screen time as they want. When they were about three, they went through a phase of nothing but screens - all day, every day - for about a week.

Now, they really don't want screens at all. But if they did, I'd let them play.

[Anonymous]

If you want kids to not be glued to screens, then you need to spend time with them, guide them to other activities and figure out their interests. All of these things require time, patience, motivation, energy and creativity. Most parents are not interested in doing this for their kids. Screens are easy and cheap babysitters.

[Anonymous]

My son is almost nine. He enjoys playing video games and watching tv shows but he doesn't ask for it all the time. We've always allowed screens in moderation, and with known limits. Like on weekends, he can watch any show he wants at 9:30. Then him and his dad play video games together at 3:30. In the middle of the day, he does other stuff, knowing he'll get a chance later for screens. Some days if it's raining or if something's going on, he'll ask to play his Switch and I'll say, how about for an hour? And we set a timer together and he's fine. Basically I'm trying to help him learn to moderate himself with screens and other things.

[Anonymous]

I think part of the problem, with both children and adults, is that they look at screens and are not able to pull away to politely interact with people around them. If I say my teen's name and he does not at least stop for a minute and acknowledge me, whatever device he was on is mine for the rest of the day. I do not interrupt regularly, but if I do, I need to see that people in person take precedence over people online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relative’s kids are constantly on screens (TV or Nintendo). It’s their default thing to do when they’re not in a class or being driven to an activity like a play area. They have plenty of toys, books, and adults who are willing to play with them (pretend play or board games) but they are not interested unless forced.

I am not judging the parenting. I just want to make sure my kids (toddlers) don’t turn out like this, because they are currently toddler/preschooler with lots of interests, and I don’t want their world to narrow.

Snort.

My kids have a lot of interest and are teens, with friends, good grades, senses of humor, etc.. They still like to decompress wi to video games or stupid (to me ) YouTube videos.

Agree w/ PP. my daughter is almost 8. Between dance 3X/week, Nutcracker practice, weekly science class, a lot of art (I am an art teacher), swim class, playground, play dates, museums, creative play…. I virtually give her no screen limits when we are home. I am a single working parent, too, and I sometimes need a break!!! She is also a top student and LOVES to learn.

[Anonymous]

I really believe screens are killing child hood and damaging kids. Just like anything - moderation is the key. Screens are addictive- so parents need to enforce moderation.

[Anonymous]

Don’t give them screens to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Relative’s kids are constantly on screens (TV or Nintendo). It’s their default thing to do when they’re not in a class or being driven to an activity like a play area. They have plenty of toys, books, and adults who are willing to play with them (pretend play or board games) but they are not interested unless forced.

I am not judging the parenting. I just want to make sure my kids (toddlers) don’t turn out like this, because they are currently toddler/preschooler with lots of interests, and I don’t want their world to narrow.

First off: Nintendo? Presume you mean Switch. Whatever. Let's see.....my kids. One in a top 10 uni, one in a "DC Big 3". Both athletes. Top students. But they play games. In fact, one streams his games (or records them for others to watch. Has a channel). Guess his world view is narrow. Maybe he should be playing Tiddlywinks with us instead.

Mothers of toddlers are so entertaining. And non judgmental.

Out of curiosity, what are the DC Big3? Georgetown, American, and…?

[Anonymous]

My kids certainly watch plenty of TV. But I tend to stick to shows on our main living room tv over the iPad. Mainly so that I can monitor what they are watching and it keeps them from just clicking around finding things. Also, even though the next one starts automatically, it includes a hard break when each show ends.

Now mine are still pretty little (5 and 7) and I realize at some point they will want to some more independence with this. In that case I think just setting time limits that YOU adhere too is the best.

My older one is asking about Minecraft and I may let her download it at some point which will shift this whole idea for me. In that case, I think I'd use an app timer where the iPad locks after a bit and they need to come ask me for more time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really believe screens are killing child hood and damaging kids. Just like anything - moderation is the key. Screens are addictive- so parents need to enforce moderation.

Screens are addictive for EVERYONE. It's adults too. I know I need to put my damn phone down in front of my kids too sometimes.

[Anonymous]

We’re not a TV family mostly because neither me or my husband watch it. My MIL trashed their TV one day when she realized my DH and his siblings seemed more and more glued to it. Of course that meant he went over to friends’ houses instead of them coming to his house but neither he or his siblings (boys) are TV watchers/gamers to this day. My parents didn’t have cable so I also never got into it (did watch PBS after school). My kids are young but we only have one TV and it’s in a cabinet. If the parents watch TV I’m not sure how you’d stop the desire for the kids. My philosophy so far is out of sight out of mind. I will say our problem (as parents) is being on computers/phones too much in front of them. I blame the WFH but it is my own fault and I could/should change it.

For the “what’s wrong with TV” posters - I didn’t actually have a problem with it (again was just a preference for me) until I realized how addicting GAMING is for the younger generation to the point that they’re not interested in anything “normal” - ie spending time outside. A TV show seems less of an issue but gaming good lord, big nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep the devices out of the house as long as possible.

When you do have them, set a fixed schedule and don't deviate.

This is a great recipe for obsessed kids who have no self regulation skills.

Disagree (NP). The problem with screens is that most kids CAN'T self-regulate, or at least not well (heck, neither can many adults). We also delayed, and limit screen time to 30-60 mins after activities/homework - before dinner, and they really do well with the schedule and don't whine about it at other times. We'll do some TV/movie nights too, but that is more a whole family affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really believe screens are killing child hood and damaging kids. Just like anything - moderation is the key. Screens are addictive- so parents need to enforce moderation.

Screens are addictive for EVERYONE. It's adults too. I know I need to put my damn phone down in front of my kids too sometimes.

I agree, screens destroyed childhood. Before anyone says anything, yes, I know we had TV and video games, and yes, at time we spent too much time on them, but not like today. We had a much better balance imo.

[Anonymous]

Don’t let your kids be the only teens that done know how to navigate the video game landscape.

It seemed like when I graduated golf had been replaced with video games for networking events. Time are changing.