How hard are the teen years, really?
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Anonymous
I would have said this ... then 17 came around. Hope you knocked on wood. |
Anonymous
| I have a 15, soon to be 16 year old. He has anxiety that he needs medication for, but other than that he’s pretty perfect and very easy to parent. He has always been a good kid and well liked by his teachers and kids at school. He listens to us and talks to us if he is having any problems. He has always been easygoing and go with the flow. I was always worried that the teen years would be bad because he’s always been a calm, easy child and baby. |
Anonymous
| My brother and I were extremely easy to parent. My parents had severe anxiety and were also immigrants with no family to help them, so we made sure their lives were as easy as possible. |
Anonymous
| It's been far, far worse than I ever expected. |
Anonymous
| So like everyone said, they are all different. Same parents and my kids are so very different. My teen on the spectrum was such a challenging baby and toddler. I was notorious everywhere I went because of his behavior. I got the stink eye and so many judgmental looks and rude remarks and I was schlepping him too all different therapies, doing diet changes and revolving my life around his needs-gave up work. Knock on wood the tweens and teens are so much easier than those years and people comment to me on how polite he is and how hard working and kind. I am still the same parent just trying to do my best, but I guess maybe over time all those therapies actually helped and we got lucky...so far...it could change. My daughter was the the Mayor of the town as a baby and such a happy and social and happy kid through the start of middle school. Now we are dealing with anxiety, some depression and many friendship dramas and I dread high school. |
Anonymous
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For us, it has its moments, but both 18 & 16 are relatively reasonable. The 16 yr old DD is head strong, but does come around if we leave her alone. 18 yr old DS is a saint and probably set a good example for DD as they are very close. I am waiting for DD to hit a rough patch when DS leaves for college in a month.
I may have to tape my mouth shut for a while so we can co-exist. TBH, she is a great gal and we have a lot of fun together. It is as much about us parents giving her space as her learning to be more accountable. |
Anonymous
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Have twins heading off to college shortly, was much harder when they were younger haha. (its very hard to parent infant twins especially when your DH is essentially absent).
My DS has been a joy and I don't even think I need to knock wood, but I will anyway. Smart, kind, motivated, loves his GF but I don't think they are having sex, the kind of kid who asks to come with me to walk the dogs. Doesn't drink, rarely stays out past 11 PM even on the weekend. My DD has been a challenge but not awful. Eating disorder is the biggie, some depression and anxiety which she is on meds for. Two ex-boyfriends turned stalkers, it's been a tough 17-18 year. All throughout, alway had a great relationship with her and spend alot of time with her. We share a sport in common that has led to hours and hours of togetherness and while we have fought often in those hours they will always go down as the best time of my life. She's a little wilder than her brother and we have struggled with discussions around vaping but she is otherwise a good kid, also smart and motivated. I am going to miss them terribly when they go off to school next month! |
Anonymous
17 yo DS (will turn 18 in October) is an easy kid and has been since day 1, sometimes he's too laid back 
13 yo DS (turns 14 in October) was a challenging baby, toddler, and early ES. Starting around 3rd grade he eased, but he's not an easy kid by any stretch. I anticipate him pushing boundaries much more than his older brother. Keeping him busy with school and activities will be our goal. |
Anonymous
| The thing is, even super pleasant, well adjusted kids need to sepaarate from their parents. I have one kid who has not been "easy" at all. I have another who has been a textbook "easy" teen. She is even-keeled, pleasant, helpful, motivated. Just a wonderful all-around joy to be with. Her needing to separate was just as hard as with the "difficult" child. She is making her own decisions, living her own life - so much of it separate from me. Just as it should be but it's still sad for me. |
Anonymous
Same dynamic in my household with slightly younger kids. |
Anonymous
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My parents dealt with: one child a chronic runaway, one barely passed high school, others with anxiety and depression.
Amongst my brothers and sisters we have had kids with full ride scholarships, some self harm, failing grades. All of the kids above are turning out well, we have been very lucky. It really takes a toll though even though there were many moments of love and happiness. |
Anonymous
Did I write this? DS, now 19, has high functioning autism and I know we were the talk of the playground when he was in elementary school. The other parents "uninvited" him from his 5th grade promotion ceremony because he had a meltdown during the practice. He got steadily better when puberty his and now he's off to college in the fall! He's going nearby and will likely come home on the weekends to decompress but this is still huge. We have ZERO problems with sex, alcohol, drugs, etc. because he's just not interested. On the other hand I don't foresee any grandchildren from him! DD, now 16, was such a ridiculously easy baby, toddler, everything until the last couple of years. She was an absolute delight and my best friend. We are still very very close and 90% of the time it's great. However, she has anxiety and borderline ADHD--inattentive and is LGBTQ+ and a vegetarian and is the word and thought police on both topics. I'm super liberal and easy-going but I'm also 50 and still learning new terms and ways of looking at things. She has NO sympathy for that and expects me to literally fly flags (which I do), switch to vegetarian cooking (which I do), and never call anyone walking down the street, who can't even hear me (!) a man or woman because what if, by some chance, they identify as a different gender?! But mostly she's pretty easy too, I love all of her friends, and they all seem to think that shopping in Georgetown for the afternoon is as good as life gets. So I'll take it. She's no trouble at all behaviorally at school though her grades have suffered during Covid. She's generally a good person when she's not being moody. I was a ridiculously good teenager but my mother criticized me, yelled at me, and hit me, so I've really put a lot of effort into having a good relationship with both of my kids and I think the results have been pretty good so far. I do agree that there's not a darned thing I could really do if she had turned out like my sister who lied, cheated, stole, and was basically a difficult late teenager/early 20-year-old. It's all a crap shoot and a lot of hard work! |
Anonymous
| How they were as preschoolers is generally how they are as teens. If you had an easy toddler/ preschooler easier teen. If you had a moody one look forward to lots of moodiness. |
Anonymous
| I had easy teens. I worried a lot and they both totaled the cars but were unhurt. Car dead. Kid ok. I had two and both were rather easy. One moody but not against me. |
Anonymous
| My teens waited until college to be moody and secretive. It was hard because we saw them infrequently and were used to being close. They wanted to be with their friends and we had to say ok. But we missed them. |