How hard are the teen years, really?

[Anonymous]

My sister and I were good girls who didn’t drink/do drugs or get into trouble. We got good grades and were mature. I think the worst my parents had to deal with was some anxiety my sister had and me getting home past my curfew. Lol it sounds so leave it to beaver now. We went to Catholic schools, mot sure that makes a difference or my parents just got lucky. We have a 1 year old and a 4 year old so a ways from teenage years but if they are anything like me and my sister it will be SO much easier than baby/toddler.

[Anonymous]

I was a very difficult teen, but I'm a very successful adult. Severe ADHD

[Anonymous]

I adore my daughter and it was pretty smooth sailing up until 15. She is an amazing beautiful mess who is just starting to worry/challenge me through no fault of her own. The past year did a number on her.

[Anonymous]

Really hard for girls/moms

[Anonymous]

My oldest suffers from ADHD, anxiety, depression, has an eating disorder and sometimes cuts herself. About 70 percent of the time I am dealing with her on the issues and it’s not at all fun.
The other 30% of the time she’s incredibly smart and delightful. It’s wonderful to see what an insightful and intelligent person she has become.
Her younger sister, age 14, has been a dream child. She doesn’t cause us any trouble but she’s currently going through a moody, sullen phase and doesn’t want to have anything to do with us.
Good times!

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid- My oldest was easy as could be, happy, social, sports, good student, etc. My younger one had a of issues, terrible time in high school, social issues, identity issues, saw several therapists and couldn't stand me (mom). It was extremely challenging and I feel like it this period changed me as a person and aged me. Fortunately she did well enough at school to get into college and she has been much happier there (although there are still challenges). She is getting there and we are so glad she has grown up a bit. We are very close now and fortunately lots of love between us.

[Anonymous]

I am in the camp that it depends on the kid, less about the parents. I cannot believe my 16 and 18 year olds came out of the same womb.

[Anonymous]

I'm dealing with my own moodiness/hormones as I find myself entering peri-menopause. I really find myself trying not let myself get carried away.

Top it off with 2 teens and 1 tween and there's just a lot going on.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I struggled with 1st through 6th grade with my kids. I found them to be boring and toy obsessed and not great at holding conversations. When they were around 12/13 I started liking them again. We could find common interests, have deep conversations, etc.

All our kids have had moments of being Crazy Teens, but it was like ... an hour or a day and then they're over it.

[Anonymous]

It’s very hard. Period.

[Anonymous]

Mine are 16 and 18 (one boy, one girl) and it has been really smooth sailing and I’m greatly enjoying being a parent to teens. I have a good relationship with both of them as does my DH. I really think it depends on the kid and we got lucky, but I also think we laid a good foundation of trust, respect, and open communication when they were younger that has paid off now that they are older.

[Anonymous]

Our oldest went through anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, skipped school, tried drugs, ran away, got himself in legal trouble, was homeless for a couple of months.... I think that's it. Oh, his GF got pregnant. She had an abortion, that crushed him for a while.

His younger brother has been a breeze compared to that.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Soon! Only 11 but I noticed his behavior changed after the teachers had the health class discussion with the kids. It's like he was fine until they mentioned that your moods will change when you hit 12+. Then, he becomes moody now.
I wonder if it is expected of him so he does it.
I think he is fine so far if it isn't the social pressure his father puts on him.

[Anonymous]

Hard. My kids look/seem highly functional and successful. But they've had some rocky academic patches, anxiety, depression, dabbling in weed, lots of minor dramas that escalated into painful ones due to the pandemic and their stupid phones. It's rough.

[Anonymous]

I was the perfect teen daughter, or at least that's what my parents thought. I had straight As, lots of friends, athletic, pretty, and active in my church youth group. I played the part of "perfect" daughter very well, and knew it was my role. But here's what I hid from my parents:

- eating disorder (binging, purging) until my early 20s
- lots of binge drinking
- abortion when I was 17
- feelings of anxiety, depression

As a result, I have significant issues with anxiety and depression as an adult, even though I have stayed very functional (good job, married, kids). But I want better for my daughters, and I have tried to create an atmosphere where they can openly express their feelings, good or bad, without judgement. They are both teens and we have went through some bouts of anxiety and have both had therapy to address it. My hope is by addressing these issues when their teen brains are developing, that as adults they will have much better coping skills than I ever developed at their age. I know its not always the case, but just because your teens appear easy and high achieving, doesn't mean they are not struggling.