How hard are the teen years, really?

[Anonymous]

People talk about kids be resilient, but teens are not. Everything that happens to them is of (real or perceived, but perception is reality with teens) tremendous consequence. They feel things intensely and react accordingly. They are hormone-fueled volcanos, waiting to erupt. Do not be surprised when your happy-go-lucky kid morphs into a drama monster when the teen years hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People talk about kids be resilient, but teens are not. Everything that happens to them is of (real or perceived, but perception is reality with teens) tremendous consequence. They feel things intensely and react accordingly. They are hormone-fueled volcanos, waiting to erupt. Do not be surprised when your happy-go-lucky kid morphs into a drama monster when the teen years hit.

This is the best quote of the year.

[Anonymous]

My kids (age 15 and 17 now) have been easy. I think there were about 2 months of periodic sullenness from my daughter when she was 13, but that was about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People talk about kids be resilient, but teens are not. Everything that happens to them is of (real or perceived, but perception is reality with teens) tremendous consequence. They feel things intensely and react accordingly. They are hormone-fueled volcanos, waiting to erupt. Do not be surprised when your happy-go-lucky kid morphs into a drama monster when the teen years hit.

No truer words!

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid, but even with our easiest of three pretty easy kids (now all in college or grad school), there's still a lot at stake in the teen years -- driving, drinking, dating, college applications. And, remember, they don't go to bed at 9 pm, so you're often up late, driving them here or there, waiting up for them, or just keeping them company while they study (yes, they sometimes appreciate that, if only because you can make them a late-night snack). OTOH, with teens you don't have the constant caregiving responsibilities that you do with younger kids. And, they can be really fun and interesting companions. I also found that I enjoyed having their friends around and that my friendships with other parents were more supportive and less competitive -- which is saying a lot for the DMV. All in all, I liked having teens.

[Anonymous]

DS16 has been easy. I’m expecting his tween sister to be more of a challenge based on her current attitude.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I've been holding my breath for years with my teen. I never felt that way when he was younger. Plus, I never had to preview my words. Now I have to measure each one and rehearse it so it can't be taken the wrong way. Mostly, it is just biting my tongue and waiting to exhale.

[Anonymous]

DS 19 has been a very easy kid to raise. He had a few surly moments along the way, but they were few and far between.

[Anonymous]

Really depends on the kid

[Anonymous]

Highly dependent on each kid. Also high dependent on the parent and their parenting style. The teen years aren’t necessarily more difficult than the baby or toddler years, they just require a different approach. And as a PP mentioned, not all teen problems are easily solvable.

If your a person/parent that has been avoiding or dreading key topics (sex, drugs, alcohol, identity, relationships, etc), well you’re going to be in for a rude awakening. if your a helicopter parent, you’re feelings are likely going to be bruised by your teen, their friends, and teachers or are no longer fond of your constant hovering. If you lack patience, well, it may be tested.

I’ve loved watching kids grow as teens and blossom into more of themselves. That’s not to say it been without moments of strife, but no age is. But then again, I’ve always appreciated and enjoyed every age/stage of my kids and never longed to go back to the early years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Highly dependent on each kid. Also high dependent on the parent and their parenting style. The teen years aren’t necessarily more difficult than the baby or toddler years, they just require a different approach. And as a PP mentioned, not all teen problems are easily solvable.

If your a person/parent that has been avoiding or dreading key topics (sex, drugs, alcohol, identity, relationships, etc), well you’re going to be in for a rude awakening. if your a helicopter parent, you’re feelings are likely going to be bruised by your teen, their friends, and teachers or are no longer fond of your constant hovering. If you lack patience, well, it may be tested.

I’ve loved watching kids grow as teens and blossom into more of themselves. That’s not to say it been without moments of strife, but no age is. But then again, I’ve always appreciated and enjoyed every age/stage of my kids and never longed to go back to the early years.

+1 Yes, not just teen dependent but also parent's personality and parenting style. I think my teen is relatively easy to parent. My husband doesn't agree and is very reactive to moodiness, attitude and pushing boundaries. In general this doesn't bother me. However, my husband is good about talking about sex, drinking, drugs, etc.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid and their relationship with each parent. I have 16 and 18 year olds. Fortunately, when they've had issues, it's generally been one at a time so I can take turns worrying about them LOL

Really, both are good kids and don't engage in risky behavior and are generally pleasant. Sometimes DD gets snippy with DH, mainly because he is not good at reading her mood and teases when he should just shut up, and the biggest issue with her is she has inattentive ADHD and the spaciness and forgetfulness drives me batty. Main frustration with DS is that he's taking that separation thing to an extreme and really doesn't want to talk with us about anything. But, I remember my brother being the same way in his teens and he talks now so I hope it will eventually pass!

[Anonymous]

100% depends on the kid, and anyone who thinks it is based on parenting skills, has never had teenagers (plural). Even good kids make mistakes, it's how they learn. Amd you hope that their mistakes aren't so big that they have life-altering consequences, because they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% depends on the kid, and anyone who thinks it is based on parenting skills, has never had teenagers (plural). Even good kids make mistakes, it's how they learn. Amd you hope that their mistakes aren't so big that they have life-altering consequences, because they can.

Disagree, I have teens and I think in many cases it is a combination of kids and parenting style. In extreme cases, it could be 100% kid (eg, mental illness, addiction, etc.). But some parents lack any parenting skills or our extremely controlling, which leads to problems. Some parents personality and/or parenting style doesn't mesh with their kids. Some parents have mental health issues that interfere with parenting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% depends on the kid, and anyone who thinks it is based on parenting skills, has never had teenagers (plural). Even good kids make mistakes, it's how they learn. Amd you hope that their mistakes aren't so big that they have life-altering consequences, because they can.

Disagree, I have teens and I think in many cases it is a combination of kids and parenting style. In extreme cases, it could be 100% kid (eg, mental illness, addiction, etc.). But some parents lack any parenting skills or our extremely controlling, which leads to problems. Some parents personality and/or parenting style doesn't mesh with their kids. Some parents have mental health issues that interfere with parenting...

What’s to disagree with? PP is just saying that parents don’t need to blame themselves if their child gets into trouble or pat themselves on the back if their kid is perfect. There’s a lot of factors at play, yes, but parents who judge others are not helpful.