DH Giving me silent treatment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine pulled this for a week earlier this year and I let him know next time he does it I’ll be talking to a lawyer about a separation. It’s not a negotiating tactic, i will absolutely do it and won’t waste a second on feeling bad or trying to drag him to therapy. I refuse to live the next 40 years of my life this way and I don’t care what kind of financial price I have to pay to escape it.

If I was your husband, I'll sign the paper in a heart beat...relationship doesn't move at your pace so you throw a tantrum back at him? I see a dim future for your marriage.

My thoughts exactly. Divorce threats are classic emotional abuse. Way worse than not talking to someone to calm down. Disgusting behavior. I would call the bluff too.

Divorce threats are emotional abuse. But who said anything about that? Divorcing the MF who won't TALK to you is not a tantrum. It is self preservation.

[Anonymous]

Kill em with kindness. Accept the silence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine pulled this for a week earlier this year and I let him know next time he does it I’ll be talking to a lawyer about a separation. It’s not a negotiating tactic, i will absolutely do it and won’t waste a second on feeling bad or trying to drag him to therapy. I refuse to live the next 40 years of my life this way and I don’t care what kind of financial price I have to pay to escape it.

If I was your husband, I'll sign the paper in a heart beat...relationship doesn't move at your pace so you throw a tantrum back at him? I see a dim future for your marriage.

My thoughts exactly. Divorce threats are classic emotional abuse. Way worse than not talking to someone to calm down. Disgusting behavior. I would call the bluff too.

Can you even read? A week. A bloody WEEK. I'm all for taking 30 minutes to calm down but a WEEK is abusive and punitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - the fact that you are wondering if this is "normal" or in any way okay tells me that you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. Perhaps your even codependent. I would highly recommend therapy for yourself to figure this out. Trust me - I've BTDT, and the quicker you work this out, the more easily you can move on living a happy life.

That’s not true. Many people of all income levels or races get slowly increasingly emotionally abused that they don’t notice until it is much more frequent. At first they make excuses - he had a bad day at work, he has a stiff upper lip, his parents this or that. Then they see the passive aggressiveness. THey don’t mention it to anyone since he’s “such a nice quiet guy” when in the neighborhood or a get together. Then it’s bad, you start feeling sick about it, not know what to do, getting gaslighted as well. Then you tell someone. Hopefully they listen and don’t say that Bs he’s a nice guy to me BS. They call it what it is: abuse. You do research, you see where you are in the abuse cycle. You get therapy. You plan your exit or your way of managing things. Your kids get therapy, they don’t have to label him but they do have to label bad behaviors. Focus on behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle your partner giving you the silent treatment?

My DW does this and I have never figured out a strategy for dealing with this successfully. I tried to ignore her to "give her a taste of her own medicine." Now we don't speak at all and sleep in separate rooms.

If you don't have kids definitely run for the hills! Even if you do give divorce may be your only option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle your partner giving you the silent treatment?

My DW does this and I have never figured out a strategy for dealing with this successfully. I tried to ignore her to "give her a taste of her own medicine." Now we don't speak at all and sleep in separate rooms.

If you don't have kids definitely run for the hills! Even if you do give divorce may be your only option.

Same here. My stonewalling spouse is more than happy not to talk or be asked anything or spoke to for days and days. He doesn’t care about anything except his work and his image at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The silent treatment is a tactic used by an emotionally abusive person. Don't engage, and move on.

One of the traits of narcissistic abuse. I know first hand.

[Anonymous]

My DH says he withdraws when he's mad because it's the only way he can know for sure he won't do something he regrets. On the one had, it's tough to live like that, but on the other hand, I get it. I do think he's doing the best he can, it just may not be good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH says he withdraws when he's mad because it's the only way he can know for sure he won't do something he regrets. On the one had, it's tough to live like that, but on the other hand, I get it. I do think he's doing the best he can, it just may not be good enough.

Your husband is handing you a load of bullshit. You know another thing he could do? He can learn to control himself and not emotionally abuse you in the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wish H would give me the silent treatment. How I loath his whiny voice! Having him around 24/7 during Covid was horrible.
I so envy my friends whose h’s are seen but not heard and only speak up when spoken to.

This is the funniest thing ever!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle your partner giving you the silent treatment?

My DW does this and I have never figured out a strategy for dealing with this successfully. I tried to ignore her to "give her a taste of her own medicine." Now we don't speak at all and sleep in separate rooms.

If you don't have kids definitely run for the hills! Even if you do give divorce may be your only option.

Why are you still married?

[Anonymous]

Prob kids.

You think narcs are easy to coparent with?