DH Giving me silent treatment

[Anonymous]

How do you handle your partner giving you the silent treatment?

[Anonymous]

Let them calm down.
Discuss when both calm.

[Anonymous]

Stonewalling predicts 96% will lead to divorce. EX did this all the time. Get out now, if he is unable to communicate as an adult now it will never change.

[Anonymous]

Oh, the silent treatment is calm.

I'd go about my business. Talk to DH as normal. Make some plans to do fun things, invite him, and then since he never replies, go without him. If you need his help for something, say childcare, let him know you are going, and his not replying that he can't take care of the children will be taken as his agreeing to be available for that time. Or you'll hire a babysitter.

I'd also then, when he is talking again, let him know that the silent treatment is juvenile and passive agressive and he has the option to 1) never engage in it again (or be ready for divorce) or start going to therapy (him, not you) to figure out why he's acting this way and to learn how to stop.

Adults don't treat other adults like this.

[Anonymous]

The silent treatment is a tactic used by an emotionally abusive person. Don't engage, and move on.

[Anonymous]

The silent treatment is the temper tantrum of an emotionally immature person who is not equipped to deal with adult conversation. Live your life as normal without him. Allow the man child to sulk in the corner.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is silent treatment? Is it him just trying to calm down before saying something stupid or hurtful? Or is he going days at a time without saying anything to get an emotional reaping? How do the two of you fight? Is he normally loud? Are you?

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the peace and quiet. He's a child, in his world negative attention is better than none.

Down the road explain to him talking and compromising is how healthy individuals communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them calm down.
Discuss when both calm.

And if they never want to circle back and resolve anything large or small?

Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The silent treatment is the temper tantrum of an emotionally immature person who is not equipped to deal with adult conversation. Live your life as normal without him. Allow the man child to sulk in the corner.

Agree with the part I bolded. I would not tolerate this. A half hour to calm down? Sure. Two hours to go work out and run a couple of errands?Sure. Anything more than a half a day and I'd have a problem if it happened any more than once a year. Be a man, put on your big girl panties, and talk through why you're upset and how we can both fix it.

[Anonymous]

What'd you do, OP?

[Anonymous]

Wish H would give me the silent treatment. How I loath his whiny voice! Having him around 24/7 during Covid was horrible.
I so envy my friends whose h’s are seen but not heard and only speak up when spoken to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What'd you do, OP?

Petty argument over dinner. This is a normal occurrence. Wondering if other wives deal with this behavior and how to cope through the silence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is silent treatment? Is it him just trying to calm down before saying something stupid or hurtful? Or is he going days at a time without saying anything to get an emotional reaping? How do the two of you fight? Is he normally loud? Are you?

Won't speak to me when asked questions. Leaves the house without a word. The silence will go on for days at a time. He refuses to speak with a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Mine pulled this for a week earlier this year and I let him know next time he does it I’ll be talking to a lawyer about a separation. It’s not a negotiating tactic, i will absolutely do it and won’t waste a second on feeling bad or trying to drag him to therapy. I refuse to live the next 40 years of my life this way and I don’t care what kind of financial price I have to pay to escape it.