WWYD if your college-aged son were severely depressed?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if adderall would give him enthusiasm to do his work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if adderall would give him enthusiasm to do his work

Only people with ADHD can get it. I assume that you were saying that getting evaluated for it could be a good idea.

[Anonymous]

No solution for you, OP, but writing because we are nearly in the same boat. We sympathize with the helplessness you feel, and the difficulty that the age and situation present. Trying desperately to find the thing he responds to without him completely shutting down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if adderall would give him enthusiasm to do his work

Only people with ADHD can get it. I assume that you were saying that getting evaluated for it could be a good idea.

No, it is sometimes used in treatment of depression also, usually after other things have failed.

OP, I would make therapy and consult with a psychiatrist a condition of staying in your house. It feels harsh but it is what you have the power to do and how you deliver it will make a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, sink or swim. Kids in my generation were out of the house at age 18.

Depression is an illness. Would you say the same thing about a young adult with another severe illness?

+1

[Anonymous]

Don’t listen to those who say it’s laziness or he needs to sink or swim. I’d get him help. I’d take away the laptop and phone too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not accepting medical help is not an option. If he was having a dental emergency causing great pain and damage to his overall health would you simply sit by? Even if he said all dentists were quacks? No, you wouldn't. He needs to see a therapist whether he thinks it's a good idea or not.

And what do you do when the adult says no to medical help? That's what OP is asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's quite remarkable how many people suggest doing something punitive, kicking him out, or "making" him get a job.

This woman's son is ill.

Yes, people with depression need help rather than punishment for their symptoms. The first and last suggestions you mentioned could be intended as helpful, though (structure or time away from screens). If the devices belong to your adult kid, you can't take them away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really hard. I remember going through this with my DD years ago. Here are some of the things I tried that made somewhat of a difference. Some are a bit unconventional but they all worked to some degree. Today she is much older and well-adjusted.

High dosage vitamin and mineral supplements. Focus Factor and Alive come to mind.

Playing upbeat motivational music around the house. At the time it was a few Mariah Carey songs played continuously in the house. Plus songs that made you want to get up and dance.

Motivational books placed strategically around the house. I remember Anthony Robbins as one of the authors.

Subliminal and hypnosis tapes I would play for depression. Today you can play these subliminal and hypnosis videos for free just by going to YouTube. You have to make sure they are legit though. Read the reviews.

I encouraged her to take long walks with me. These walks would lift her spirits.

Finally, I dragged her kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist for therapy and meds.

Just reading this makes me want to cut myself to prove a point. Focus Factor? Mariah Carey? Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really hard. I remember going through this with my DD years ago. Here are some of the things I tried that made somewhat of a difference. Some are a bit unconventional but they all worked to some degree. Today she is much older and well-adjusted.

High dosage vitamin and mineral supplements. Focus Factor and Alive come to mind.

Playing upbeat motivational music around the house. At the time it was a few Mariah Carey songs played continuously in the house. Plus songs that made you want to get up and dance.

Motivational books placed strategically around the house. I remember Anthony Robbins as one of the authors.

Subliminal and hypnosis tapes I would play for depression. Today you can play these subliminal and hypnosis videos for free just by going to YouTube. You have to make sure they are legit though. Read the reviews.

I encouraged her to take long walks with me. These walks would lift her spirits.

Finally, I dragged her kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist for therapy and meds.

Just reading this makes me want to cut myself to prove a point. Focus Factor? Mariah Carey? Ugh.

DP. No need to be so rude. PP said these things were helpful for her DD. What did you contribute to the thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, sink or swim. Kids in my generation were out of the house at age 18.

Assume they won’t go to college then (unless you’re paying, in which case college is a paid sleepaway camp. Nothing wrong with that but it’s not “moving out.”)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have an adult teen boy who has bipolar and anxiety. The problem with a kid that age is that you can't force anything and you can't just pick them up and put them in the car like you could when they were 8. We've been through some serious crises over the past couple of years, with the pandemic making things worse. And, he became an adult during the pandemic, which eliminated my legal ability to make decisions for him. So, I know what it's like.

What worked for me was this. I scheduled psychiatric appointments online and then when it was time for the appointment, I called in and then took the laptop into my son's room. The doctor could see for themselves what was going on and would listen to my reports. I got very little feedback, but on those rare occasions that my son would converse with the psychiatrist, the psychiatrist only required that I leave if I was asked by my son.

It got us medication so that was something. Eventually, when the medication started to take effect, I got my son a job - yes, I did it all, he has serious mental health issues and was not capable, but structure is really good for him. Fortunately, he showed up everytime he was supposed to - he learned to love money so there was a high level of motivation.

That's all I've got. Good luck.

How did you get your son a job? Didn’t they need to interview him and check references?

A lot of fast food type places and small businesses hire on the spot. At least that’s what we found when ds applying to some a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

Medical and psychiatric intervention. We now have a recommendation for wilderness therapy and are following it. It is a serious thing and you need to intervene and if real underlying problems work alone may not solve it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, sink or swim. Kids in my generation were out of the house at age 18.

Assume they won’t go to college then (unless you’re paying, in which case college is a paid sleepaway camp. Nothing wrong with that but it’s not “moving out.”)

I am not PP but definitely consider college moving out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Medical and psychiatric intervention. We now have a recommendation for wilderness therapy and are following it. It is a serious thing and you need to intervene and if real underlying problems work alone may not solve it

Be very careful with this. A lot of these programs are abusive. Please please research before you send your kid there.