How do you filter your children’s social circle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I filter out kids. My kid has a few friends who are ill behaves, rude, obnoxious or impolite. I just stop scheduling time to play outside of school. I won't let them interact on the iPads and I try to redirect her her attention to other kids

All kids can be challenging including mine but there are some kids who are just rotten.

Glad you are such an accurate and efficient arbiter of determining which children are good and virtuous. Thank god for you and your superior ability to weed out the bad seeds. I can only hope my lowly children have the privilege of being in the presence of such greatness. You sound like great role models, maybe it will rub off on us unenlightened cretins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a gross, weird question. I let my kids play with any kid who is kind, respectful, and who they want to play with. If I don't care for the parents, I invite the kids for drop-off playdates at our home or meet up somewhere with an escape plan and good entertainment. I do not "filter" their social circle.

You are literally filtering your child’s social circle by using these restrictions.

DP. My 1st grader was playing an online game with his classmate, and this child was repeatedly saying “sh*t” and “hell” during the game. So that’s one kid that I would prefer he not play with.

[Anonymous]

Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

[Anonymous]

My kids are still very young, 2 and 4, so they usually find friends themselves (or at least my oldest does and my youngest tags along). We’ve encountered plenty of 2yr olds that throw sand (they are still learning the playground rules, no big deal!) but no mini sociopaths I have to fend off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t filter, but I don’t do play dates either. My kids hang out with the kids of my friends when we get together. And if I don’t have time for that, play dates are definitely not happening.

We look forward to your "my kid has no friends" post in a few years.

Too late, the two oldest are already in college. They are doing fine, but I appreciate your concerns.

[Anonymous]

My four month old only associates with high caliber infants from good families. I don’t tolerate bad manners.

[Anonymous]

My kids are young so my only criteria is the parent. If I like the parent - my kid plays with their kid. If I don’t - we don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

Otherwise great kids who, among their peers, used a bad word once? No big deal. Swearing regularly or with adults around, I wouldn’t be thrilled as I do see that as impolite. Kids know swear words and they do experiment with using them, even good kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

I find it really difficult to believe that a child can make it to say, 6 years old, having never heard a curse word. I do not curse, my DH does, not regularly but enough that the kids possibly learned a few choice words from him. My DC who is 7 yrs old also reads anything and everything he gets his hands onto. He has actually read books with curse words unbeknownst to me, I had no idea the book had curses in it! He read the word, understood it’s context and proceeded to use it. I inquired where he learned the word and he showed me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a gross, weird question. I let my kids play with any kid who is kind, respectful, and who they want to play with. If I don't care for the parents, I invite the kids for drop-off playdates at our home or meet up somewhere with an escape plan and good entertainment. I do not "filter" their social circle.

You are literally filtering your child’s social circle by using these restrictions.

DP. My 1st grader was playing an online game with his classmate, and this child was repeatedly saying “sh*t” and “hell” during the game. So that’s one kid that I would prefer he not play with.

Yep - I agree. But don’t say you’re not filtering your kids social circle, cause you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

Do you even have ES kids? They learn it young. All it takes is one kid with a middle school or upper elementary age sibling and it’s all over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

Do you even have ES kids? They learn it young. All it takes is one kid with a middle school or upper elementary age sibling and it’s all over.

There's a difference between hearing/reading curse words and using them regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best of luck when the real world hits. As long as the kids get along, who cares? Who really cares? As long as the parents seem normal and nice and “safe”. My school aged kids curse sometimes, does that make my kids off limits? They heard the curse words maybe, maybe, once or twice and held on to them for whatever reason. They are witty, outgoing, sharp, unique kids who have the ability to converse with just about anyone.

Yes.

Sorry to burst your bubble but most people don’t want their kids hanging out with elementary school kids who curse. That’s insane.

Do you even have ES kids? They learn it young. All it takes is one kid with a middle school or upper elementary age sibling and it’s all over.

There's a difference between hearing/reading curse words and using them regularly.

My DC doesn’t curse regularly but he is well aware of some bad words and how to use them. I had absolutely nothing to do with this, I am embarrassed by it and not surprised that people will judge me as a parent. I correct DC any time I hear him utter a bad word and my DH curbs any foul language. What else can we do? I do not use curse words, they aren’t learning it from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you look for in the family of children you’d let your children have play dates with?

What a question. I prefer that they're nice and not ax murderers.

What are you looking for: yearly income and home value? You sound petty.