Can People With Opposing Views Make It Work?

[Anonymous]

I think it will be fine if you agree on your actual values: what you will teach/tell your kids about the world, how you will raise boys v raise girls, what you will expect of a marriage as far as roles are concerned (who will work, who won’t, how money will be spent). THOSE are the key things, which yes, are sometimes influenced by a person’s politics.

As others have said, your actual ideological views hardly seem “opposing.”

— a very liberal Democrat married to a traditionally conservative (now seen as moderate after Trump exposed the Fascist conservatives) Republican

[Anonymous]

As she matures she may move even further right quite honestly. So think about how that might be.

[Anonymous]

I think so but I have no idea why, when there are so many people you can have a good relationship with, somebody would WANT to make it work with a trump supporter.

It's one thing if you're already married but if not? Getting out of a relationship with a trump supporter seems like a very easy way to avoid conflict down the road (because you can make it work but it's *work* and you want to minimize how much you have to do that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As she matures she may move even further right quite honestly. So think about how that might be.

So too might OP. He is on the precipice and they don’t seem very ideologically different overall.

[Anonymous]

Pro life? Hopefully she's on the pill, otherwise, congrats on having a baby with a nut. The next 18 years will but super fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you are ok with dating her after finding out about her views suggests you can probably make it work because many people would have dropped her like a hot potato already.

Exactly. I mean, I would not want to even be in the same room with her, so the fact that you are running around with her in her hoodies means you aren't that different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

That is Not centrist, I would not want her influencing my kids....

[Anonymous]

Any woman who supports trump is suspect to me, because I just don’t see how a sane, self respecting woman could support that pig. It’s a no for me, dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has gotten plenty of actual non aggressive advice and chose to ignore it to engage the political crazies who were a foregone conclusion when he posted this topic. I think he's a troll.

+1. OP, what is your actual question? Because you seem to agree with and support everything about your girlfriend based on your original and follow-up posts. So what's the problem? Are you trying to get some kind of validation from moderates and liberals that you're a Nice Guy TM even if you date a Trump supporter who wears a Blue Lives Matter hoodie? The only issue I see in your relationship is your insecurity about that and we can't help you with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going tit for tat some of you on here. You don’t like Trump and that’s fine, but I don’t care if you aren’t willing to date someone because they are pro Trump. That is not what I asked. I also didn’t ask why some people don’t like Joe Biden. I don’t like either candidate. I hate Joe Biden and think he is horribly incompetent, racist, and a criminal. I think Trump has some good policies, but there is a lot I couldn’t get passed.

My girlfriend doesn’t really bring up politics that often. We have friends who are Democrats and have talks openly without it being an issue. Her big this is that she misses when people could express their opinion without fear of being “ canceled” or be friends with people with opposing views. Some of her family members are Democrats. She definitely considers herself a conservative, but she understands everyone has their own opinion. She didn’t care that I disliked Trump. It didn’t really matter to her as long as we had some commonality with policies. [/quot

Why are you asking advice? We don't care whom you date!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has gotten plenty of actual non aggressive advice and chose to ignore it to engage the political crazies who were a foregone conclusion when he posted this topic. I think he's a troll.

+1. OP, what is your actual question? Because you seem to agree with and support everything about your girlfriend based on your original and follow-up posts. So what's the problem? Are you trying to get some kind of validation from moderates and liberals that you're a Nice Guy TM even if you date a Trump supporter who wears a Blue Lives Matter hoodie? The only issue I see in your relationship is your insecurity about that and we can't help you with this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As she matures she may move even further right quite honestly. So think about how that might be.

So too might OP. He is on the precipice and they don’t seem very ideologically different overall.

True

[Anonymous]

A "what's right is right, what's wrong is wrong" mentality is not exactly a sign that she possesses a capacity for openness, flexibility and critical thinking. Is it possible that this is actually what you are wondering, that maybe she is not intellectually what you want? And if you are wondering now, at the likely peak of your sexual bonding, then yes, it could be an issue. You have to unpack your concerns in greater depth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has gotten plenty of actual non aggressive advice and chose to ignore it to engage the political crazies who were a foregone conclusion when he posted this topic. I think he's a troll.

+1. OP, what is your actual question? Because you seem to agree with and support everything about your girlfriend based on your original and follow-up posts. So what's the problem? Are you trying to get some kind of validation from moderates and liberals that you're a Nice Guy TM even if you date a Trump supporter who wears a Blue Lives Matter hoodie? The only issue I see in your relationship is your insecurity about that and we can't help you with this.

+1

+2. You aren’t truly opposing views. There are studies though on how common cross political marriages are - the statistics from this 2016 study had about 55% of marriages being both registered Democrats or both registered Republicans and if you add in both independents that number is 70% of the marriages https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-many-republicans-marry-democrats/ It’s hard to say if that’s because people self-select and value marrying someone with similar political beliefs, if it’s who you are being exposed to/meet where you live, or just a by product of having other things in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A "what's right is right, what's wrong is wrong" mentality is not exactly a sign that she possesses a capacity for openness, flexibility and critical thinking. Is it possible that this is actually what you are wondering, that maybe she is not intellectually what you want? And if you are wondering now, at the likely peak of your sexual bonding, then yes, it could be an issue. You have to unpack your concerns in greater depth.

I pointed the same thing out to OP rigidity in thinking is not a quality you want in a life partner or a parenting partner. No response.. But I think we wasting are time because it seems OP is likely trolling