Can People With Opposing Views Make It Work?

[Anonymous]

I am probably a lot like your GF but I don't wear BlueLM or Trump stuff.

Honestly, the part that is kind of a red flag to me is that you seem to be nervous someone is going to attack you for wearing a sweatshirt they disagree with. Not sure I could respect a man like that.

If someone is going to punch me in the face for wearing whatever I damn well please, well, they will be damn sorry. I have never instigated a fight in my life, but I am definitely not AFRAID. I would have a hard time respecting you.

Were your approaches to COVID similar? That will say a lot about whether you are compatible. I don't think I could have stayed married to someone who had a vastly different view on COVID, way more than Trump. Friends, absolutely....but I would have had a hard time holing up and wearing masks outside for the last year for absolutely no reason. My family is half cop, half medical professional and it was clear early on that being outside was safe and wearing masks inside was sensible until vaccination.

[Anonymous]

It's not politics. It's values. She supported Trump? That's all you need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am probably a lot like your GF but I don't wear BlueLM or Trump stuff.

Honestly, the part that is kind of a red flag to me is that you seem to be nervous someone is going to attack you for wearing a sweatshirt they disagree with. Not sure I could respect a man like that.

If someone is going to punch me in the face for wearing whatever I damn well please, well, they will be damn sorry. I have never instigated a fight in my life, but I am definitely not AFRAID. I would have a hard time respecting you.

Were your approaches to COVID similar? That will say a lot about whether you are compatible. I don't think I could have stayed married to someone who had a vastly different view on COVID, way more than Trump. Friends, absolutely....but I would have had a hard time holing up and wearing masks outside for the last year for absolutely no reason. My family is half cop, half medical professional and it was clear early on that being outside was safe and wearing masks inside was sensible until vaccination.

OP here. She has never worn Trump stuff. She does have a Blue Lives Matter hoodie that she wears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am probably a lot like your GF but I don't wear BlueLM or Trump stuff.

Honestly, the part that is kind of a red flag to me is that you seem to be nervous someone is going to attack you for wearing a sweatshirt they disagree with. Not sure I could respect a man like that.

If someone is going to punch me in the face for wearing whatever I damn well please, well, they will be damn sorry. I have never instigated a fight in my life, but I am definitely not AFRAID. I would have a hard time respecting you.

Were your approaches to COVID similar? That will say a lot about whether you are compatible. I don't think I could have stayed married to someone who had a vastly different view on COVID, way more than Trump. Friends, absolutely....but I would have had a hard time holing up and wearing masks outside for the last year for absolutely no reason. My family is half cop, half medical professional and it was clear early on that being outside was safe and wearing masks inside was sensible until vaccination.

OP here. My girlfriend is strong and can handle it. She says she is not going to let people dictate what she can or can’t wear. She has been training the past couple do years with fighting, carries pepper spray, and has a conceal and carry permit. I still worry because there are many incidents of people wearing Republican candidate attire that get attacked. That doesn’t make me deserve less respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am probably a lot like your GF but I don't wear BlueLM or Trump stuff.

Honestly, the part that is kind of a red flag to me is that you seem to be nervous someone is going to attack you for wearing a sweatshirt they disagree with. Not sure I could respect a man like that.

If someone is going to punch me in the face for wearing whatever I damn well please, well, they will be damn sorry. I have never instigated a fight in my life, but I am definitely not AFRAID. I would have a hard time respecting you.

Were your approaches to COVID similar? That will say a lot about whether you are compatible. I don't think I could have stayed married to someone who had a vastly different view on COVID, way more than Trump. Friends, absolutely....but I would have had a hard time holing up and wearing masks outside for the last year for absolutely no reason. My family is half cop, half medical professional and it was clear early on that being outside was safe and wearing masks inside was sensible until vaccination.

OP here. Our mindset on COVID is different than yours, but we have the same views on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

OP, I am the woman who responded above saying we are similar. Your GF and I have almost identical political beliefs (I am pro choice), except I am more a "there are difficult questions" kind of person. I also stay off political Twitter and only have pics of my kids and pets on social media, no politics. If she's like that, you'll probably be fine. Politics is important but IMO, no one ever changed anyone's mind arguing on the Internet and I simply want to live my life without it revolving around the extremists on the left and right.

Be a centrist yourself and you will not have an issue based on politics. If you feel really into politics, left OR right, I'd walk. I don't want to life with Anderson Cooper or Tucker Carlson blaring on every evening! I want to read a nice book and go for a hike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

OP, I am the woman who responded above saying we are similar. Your GF and I have almost identical political beliefs (I am pro choice), except I am more a "there are difficult questions" kind of person. I also stay off political Twitter and only have pics of my kids and pets on social media, no politics. If she's like that, you'll probably be fine. Politics is important but IMO, no one ever changed anyone's mind arguing on the Internet and I simply want to live my life without it revolving around the extremists on the left and right.

Be a centrist yourself and you will not have an issue based on politics. If you feel really into politics, left OR right, I'd walk. I don't want to life with Anderson Cooper or Tucker Carlson blaring on every evening! I want to read a nice book and go for a hike.

Huh? None of the above is "centrist". You and OP's girlfriend are conservative.

[Anonymous]

Is Trump a value now? I’d worry more about house expectations like staying at home, cooking, religion and family.

How you plan to raise your kids, shield them or expose them, what tv shows etc.

[Anonymous]

I can in general but I cannot re anyone who voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can in general but I cannot re anyone who voted for Trump.

.... because imo fundamentally shows terrible judgment and embracing repugnant values and behavior (for those who wonder)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you are ok with dating her after finding out about her views suggests you can probably make it work because many people would have dropped her like a hot potato already.

+1 - most of what OP mentioned would be a dealbreaker for me. I'm not going to attack anyone on the street for wearing Blue Lives Matter or Trump gear, but I'm definitely not going to have sex with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

+1, although we've been married 20 years and our kids are older. 2016 and beyond have been really tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

And what do you believe?

More importantly is this how you want your children raised, keep in mind that people generally become more conservative and more rigif with age and parenthood not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new girlfriend is a independent, mostly right leaning conservative. She does hold some liberal views, mostly social. I consider myself an independent and have supported both parties. I believe in voting for policies, not people. I didn’t support either party this past election because both were very problematic. My girlfriend supported Trump. She did not like his rhetoric, but supported many of his policies, and hates Hilary and Biden. She had many military and cops in her family is a big Blue Lives Matter supporter. She wears a ton of hoodies with the logo while going out. For the most part she is very anti-politician in general. She thinks neither side really cares beyond lining their pockets and getting power. She still thinks Trump was a great president policy wise. I supported some of his policies. I’ve never stand someone who was not as aligned with my political beliefs. Do you think dating someone who may hold different political values will be a problem longterm?

Doesn't sound like you actually have opposing views so you should be fine.