Can People With Opposing Views Make It Work?

[Anonymous]

I think dating anyone who could vote for trump is problematic, assuming one has a soul. Dealbreaker. I’m a democrat, but my husband was a registered Republican until trump (switched parties during presidency), and I dated several republicans in college and my twenties, several of whom were vocally anti Trump and have become more socially liberal as the years passed. I say this to mean that pre Trump, political ideology was not as much of a dealbreaker as it is now because of the extremism voting for and supporting Trump represents. Save yourself the trouble. Date a moderate independent, dem, or Republican. There are many out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How strongly does she care about politics? Does she bring it up often? Does she believe in conspiracies?

I'm married to a conservative (social and fiscal) who gradually leaned further and further right over the years. When we were dating I was a democrat, then I became an independent and still consider myself a true independent. H, on the other hand, kept moving right. His thinking is pretty black and white. He used to be a moderate on environmental issues, but has abandoned that in favor of mocking global warming concerns. He consumes right wing talk show mania all the time and is embracing conspiracies. Now he's anti vax as well. We have two young kids. I've set some boundaries for our marriage, but the struggle has been very real, very tough. If you're considering a serious relationship, one that might result in children, then think hard again.

OP here. She keeps up with current things going on but doesn’t watch the news all of the time because she said she doesn’t want politics to run her life. I agree. I’m definitely very into her and would like a family. I’m considering her for a serious relationship.

These are her stances ( conservative)

- Wants the border wall
- supports police ( also supports bad cops going to jail like Derrick Chauvin).
- lower taxes
- less government
- against socialism
- big supporter of second amendment rights
- Hates BLM/Antifa. She doesn’t think BLM cares about black people, more so as they just want to push an agenda
- Pro life but understands that’s not everyone’s viewpoint. She is a big supporter of Defunding Plan Parenthood because of the racist Margaret Sanger, and her hate for black people.
- very liberal on gay rights
- Supports trans to an extent, but believes they shouldn’t be allowed in women’s sports

She has a “ what right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong” mentality.

And what do you believe?

More importantly is this how you want your children raised, keep in mind that people generally become more conservative and more rigif with age and parenthood not less.

Wanted to add that for me what I have put in bold is the most troublesome thing on the list. Flexibility in thinking is needed for a long-lasting relationship and raising kids. How does she respond to you ( or other people ) challenging her beliefs?

[Anonymous]

Not if you actually believe in the values you espouse.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not going tit for tat some of you on here. You don’t like Trump and that’s fine, but I don’t care if you aren’t willing to date someone because they are pro Trump. That is not what I asked. I also didn’t ask why some people don’t like Joe Biden. I don’t like either candidate. I hate Joe Biden and think he is horribly incompetent, racist, and a criminal. I think Trump has some good policies, but there is a lot I couldn’t get passed.

My girlfriend doesn’t really bring up politics that often. We have friends who are Democrats and have talks openly without it being an issue. Her big this is that she misses when people could express their opinion without fear of being “ canceled” or be friends with people with opposing views. Some of her family members are Democrats. She definitely considers herself a conservative, but she understands everyone has their own opinion. She didn’t care that I disliked Trump. It didn’t really matter to her as long as we had some commonality with policies.

[Anonymous]

You two sound like a good match.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You two sound like a good match.

+1

You don't have to agree on every single thing politically to be a good match. It sounds like overall, you value the same things, which is more important.

[Anonymous]

To me you seem like two peas in a pod.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going tit for tat some of you on here. You don’t like Trump and that’s fine, but I don’t care if you aren’t willing to date someone because they are pro Trump. That is not what I asked. I also didn’t ask why some people don’t like Joe Biden. I don’t like either candidate. I hate Joe Biden and think he is horribly incompetent, racist, and a criminal. I think Trump has some good policies, but there is a lot I couldn’t get passed.

My girlfriend doesn’t really bring up politics that often. We have friends who are Democrats and have talks openly without it being an issue. Her big this is that she misses when people could express their opinion without fear of being “ canceled” or be friends with people with opposing views. Some of her family members are Democrats. She definitely considers herself a conservative, but she understands everyone has their own opinion. She didn’t care that I disliked Trump. It didn’t really matter to her as long as we had some commonality with policies.

Would that reasoning have worked during 1938 Germany or our Civil War? No. Again, it's not about "Trump" or politics. It's about her values. (**You know that, but the sex might be good, huh? )

Come back in 5 years and see if you can still rationalize it like you are doing now.
If you were cool with it, would you have even come here to ask? No. Bud- you fully understand the problem here. Don't act like you don't.

[Anonymous]

She sounds despicable. If you're okay with that, go ahead and make a family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You two sound like a good match.

+1 Most people aren't really into politics anyway, so it's not really an issue. Politics is for losers without anything going on in their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not going tit for tat some of you on here. You don’t like Trump and that’s fine, but I don’t care if you aren’t willing to date someone because they are pro Trump. That is not what I asked. I also didn’t ask why some people don’t like Joe Biden. I don’t like either candidate. I hate Joe Biden and think he is horribly incompetent, racist, and a criminal. I think Trump has some good policies, but there is a lot I couldn’t get passed.

My girlfriend doesn’t really bring up politics that often. We have friends who are Democrats and have talks openly without it being an issue. Her big this is that she misses when people could express their opinion without fear of being “ canceled” or be friends with people with opposing views. Some of her family members are Democrats. She definitely considers herself a conservative, but she understands everyone has their own opinion. She didn’t care that I disliked Trump. It didn’t really matter to her as long as we had some commonality with policies.

So why are you here then?

You don't actually have a proble, with any of her views. You have a problem with how you may be perceived if you choose her as a longterm partner.

[Anonymous]

How old are you two?

I’ve found that people tend to get more extreme in their political views as they age. My xH and I were both moderates when we met in our 20s. He got more conservative, I got more liberal. It was especially amplified during the Trump era and was a contributing factor to our marriage ending.

I’m now at a point in my life where I only date people with similar political views. I’m tired of debating, and honestly happier being alone than with someone I don’t see eye-to-eye with.

[Anonymous]

OP has gotten plenty of actual non aggressive advice and chose to ignore it to engage the political crazies who were a foregone conclusion when he posted this topic. I think he's a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new girlfriend is a independent, mostly right leaning conservative. She does hold some liberal views, mostly social. I consider myself an independent and have supported both parties. I believe in voting for policies, not people. I didn’t support either party this past election because both were very problematic. My girlfriend supported Trump. She did not like his rhetoric, but supported many of his policies, and hates Hilary and Biden. She had many military and cops in her family is a big Blue Lives Matter supporter. She wears a ton of hoodies with the logo while going out. For the most part she is very anti-politician in general. She thinks neither side really cares beyond lining their pockets and getting power. She still thinks Trump was a great president policy wise. I supported some of his policies. I’ve never stand someone who was not as aligned with my political beliefs. Do you think dating someone who may hold different political values will be a problem longterm?

to
She's an idiot. Run, run, run.

Why in the world would you want to be with someone who supports the over Throwing of our government? Who continues a "Big lie" to profit off of hard working Americans? Who in the world supports Don the Con? He literally tried to have Mike Pence killed.

She's dumb as rocks, do you want to be associated with people who care zero for other fellow humans? Or is that dumb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new girlfriend is a independent, mostly right leaning conservative. She does hold some liberal views, mostly social. I consider myself an independent and have supported both parties. I believe in voting for policies, not people. I didn’t support either party this past election because both were very problematic. My girlfriend supported Trump. She did not like his rhetoric, but supported many of his policies, and hates Hilary and Biden. She had many military and cops in her family is a big Blue Lives Matter supporter. She wears a ton of hoodies with the logo while going out. For the most part she is very anti-politician in general. She thinks neither side really cares beyond lining their pockets and getting power. She still thinks Trump was a great president policy wise. I supported some of his policies. I’ve never stand someone who was not as aligned with my political beliefs. Do you think dating someone who may hold different political values will be a problem longterm?

You both sound problemic to me! Jesus wasn't running as President. I respect your girlfriend more because she made a choice even though I hate hate Trump. My spouse is an R and I am a D but he voted biden this time because he was the better choice by far. We make it work because we share values and we dont always vote for our party. For me, I couldn't be married to a Trump person.

You sound perfect for each other though!