help me stay calm at my Big 3 during college process

[Anonymous]

Be realistic and understand what an acceptance rate of under 10% means.

Pick a place to do some visits, but not at top30 schools, but rather a location - visit the 5 schools in Philadelphia or pick 5 in Boston, with stops at some of the rural campuses.

Start thinking about size (small/medium/large) and setting (urban/rural/suburban)

Geography - is winter weather a plus or minus? Do they want to be within a few hours of DC or get the heck out of Dodge?

It may be that your kid has no interest in things like saturday football games or big schools....that cuts a lot of schools off the list.

It may be that your kid wants a warm weather, small school. That cuts a lot off the list.

Narrowing down those parameters will provide a lot of guidance, regardless of the name of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at the data on Naviance to see the fraction of the recent classes at each tier (hypsm, other ivies, then the rest of Usnwr t30 plus 4 slacs).

Try to figure out where in the class DC ranks. (This is hard to do now without class ranking data but you need to make a guesstimate.)

This will give you a more realistic estimate of likely outcomes than either “it’s impossible” or “I’m at ___, I’ll get in.”

Just keep in mind some of those admits will be athletes, URM, and legacy

We’ve been over this already. The fraction of a Big 3 class that’s good enough to get recruited is very small. (Hint — if you’re good enough to get recruited, then you’re dominating your current level of competition.)

Legacy isn’t worth very much.

URM you can probably figure out. Just adjust your estimate of your class rank to account for this.

This is not true. Ten STA recruited athletes this year in a class of 75. Most D3 not D1 and not nationally notable or ranked. This is a typical year.

The intersection of D3 and USNWR top-k is basically MIT, Caltech, and the 4 SLACs.

Congrats to the D3 recruits — playing any sport at that level is an achievement — but irrelevant to the question in this thread, which is how to guesstimate OPs DCs chances so they can refine their list. For that, it’s necessary to know how much to discount previous success by graduates of their school on the basis of non academic factors their DC does not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be realistic and understand what an acceptance rate of under 10% means.

Pick a place to do some visits, but not at top30 schools, but rather a location - visit the 5 schools in Philadelphia or pick 5 in Boston, with stops at some of the rural campuses.

Start thinking about size (small/medium/large) and setting (urban/rural/suburban)

Geography - is winter weather a plus or minus? Do they want to be within a few hours of DC or get the heck out of Dodge?

It may be that your kid has no interest in things like saturday football games or big schools....that cuts a lot of schools off the list.

It may be that your kid wants a warm weather, small school. That cuts a lot off the list.

Narrowing down those parameters will provide a lot of guidance, regardless of the name of the school.

This is very good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at the data on Naviance to see the fraction of the recent classes at each tier (hypsm, other ivies, then the rest of Usnwr t30 plus 4 slacs).

Try to figure out where in the class DC ranks. (This is hard to do now without class ranking data but you need to make a guesstimate.)

This will give you a more realistic estimate of likely outcomes than either “it’s impossible” or “I’m at ___, I’ll get in.”

Just keep in mind some of those admits will be athletes, URM, and legacy

We’ve been over this already. The fraction of a Big 3 class that’s good enough to get recruited is very small. (Hint — if you’re good enough to get recruited, then you’re dominating your current level of competition.)

Legacy isn’t worth very much.

URM you can probably figure out. Just adjust your estimate of your class rank to account for this.

This is not true. Ten STA recruited athletes this year in a class of 75. Most D3 not D1 and not nationally notable or ranked. This is a typical year.

The intersection of D3 and USNWR top-k is basically MIT, Caltech, and the 4 SLACs.

Congrats to the D3 recruits — playing any sport at that level is an achievement — but irrelevant to the question in this thread, which is how to guesstimate OPs DCs chances so they can refine their list. For that, it’s necessary to know how much to discount previous success by graduates of their school on the basis of non academic factors their DC does not have.

A lot of people care about getting recruited more DIII schools than those 4 SLACs - NESCAC schools, UAA universities (Chicago, CMU, NYU, Emory, Washington University), Centennial (Hopkins, Haverford, Swathmore), SCIAC (Pomona, Claremont, Harvey Mudd plus Cal tech)...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at the data on Naviance to see the fraction of the recent classes at each tier (hypsm, other ivies, then the rest of Usnwr t30 plus 4 slacs).

Try to figure out where in the class DC ranks. (This is hard to do now without class ranking data but you need to make a guesstimate.)

This will give you a more realistic estimate of likely outcomes than either “it’s impossible” or “I’m at ___, I’ll get in.”

Just keep in mind some of those admits will be athletes, URM, and legacy

We’ve been over this already. The fraction of a Big 3 class that’s good enough to get recruited is very small. (Hint — if you’re good enough to get recruited, then you’re dominating your current level of competition.)

Legacy isn’t worth very much.

URM you can probably figure out. Just adjust your estimate of your class rank to account for this.

This is not true. Ten STA recruited athletes this year in a class of 75. Most D3 not D1 and not nationally notable or ranked. This is a typical year.

The intersection of D3 and USNWR top-k is basically MIT, Caltech, and the 4 SLACs.

Congrats to the D3 recruits — playing any sport at that level is an achievement — but irrelevant to the question in this thread, which is how to guesstimate OPs DCs chances so they can refine their list. For that, it’s necessary to know how much to discount previous success by graduates of their school on the basis of non academic factors their DC does not have.

My error. I forget that the Ivies are D1. (No athletes in our family.) But yes, PP, that is my point. When your kid is not an athlete or otherwise hooked, you can't look at the list of matriculations and estimate what colleges are in the right range for you kid based on their approximate rank in the class. The top is weighted with the hooked kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here thanks to the many people with non-sarcastic kind and helpful replies. As I said in my OP my KID (NOT ME) is stressed out and worried about getting into a good school- I was looking for advice to stay calm and helpful without making things worse. AT my child's Big 3 - yes I mentioned it because it is part of the context- the kids seem to be stressing each other out with talk of how impossible it is to get in anywhere. I know my child will find a match. I mentioned that my husband and I went to top 5 schools bc it is adding to my child's worry not because we think our child will get in - nor do we think our child is entitled to get in bc we went. I was looking for things to say to take the pressure off. Thank you to everyone with great tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is at a Big 3 ending 10th about to start the college process. Any advice for staying sane?

He/she has good EC's (one really interesting/unique one that they are genuinely into), good grades but not perfect, lots of rigorous classes, This child will probably have very strong standardised scores. My kid is already worried and stressed out hearing how "Impossible" it is to get into a "good school" from older kids. My husband and I went to Ivy's but know that is probably not in the cards - given how competitive it is now. We want our kid to be happy for the next two years and find the right fit. It all seems so crazy now....Help? Advice? Anything you would have done differently

For starters - don't listen to the other parents shooting their mouths off about what is and isn't a good school. However, it's hard to sympathize with you when you were dumb enough to flush all of this money down the toilet for private. As far as I'm concerned, you get what you paid for so live with it.

[Anonymous]

OP it's a numbers game... i don't personally know why people send their kids to an expensive private school, since it really shouldn't be to gain admission to an Ivy. Let's face it, these schools do not want to fill their classes with private school kids, they just don't. It's like the age old debate about UVA taking less qualified kids from Northern Virginia. There are folks on here who think this is a myth but it's absolutely true, because they could fill their entire first year class with NOVA kids, but they want kids from ALL over the country and world with varied backgrounds. It's the same problem with private school kids applying to Ivy's and other T20 schools. Some kid who is qualified is going to be on the losing side of this battle, so you need to be sure they have a wide range of schools that are actually realistic because the private school isn't doing you any favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's a numbers game... i don't personally know why people send their kids to an expensive private school, since it really shouldn't be to gain admission to an Ivy. Let's face it, these schools do not want to fill their classes with private school kids, they just don't. It's like the age old debate about UVA taking less qualified kids from Northern Virginia. There are folks on here who think this is a myth but it's absolutely true, because they could fill their entire first year class with NOVA kids, but they want kids from ALL over the country and world with varied backgrounds. It's the same problem with private school kids applying to Ivy's and other T20 schools. Some kid who is qualified is going to be on the losing side of this battle, so you need to be sure they have a wide range of schools that are actually realistic because the private school isn't doing you any favors.

It didn’t occur to you that folks send their kids to private school for reasons other than college admissions? I love the education my now college freshman got in private!!! College is easy for her because she really learned to analyze and write. For her, the small classes made a huge difference and are similar to her classes at her SLAC.

I’m not saying public school is a bad education. Of course not. I’m saying that the type of education offered in some private schools works better for some kids, like mine. And I’m happy I can afford it. And it has nothing to do with getting in to college. More about being able to function once you get to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it's a numbers game... i don't personally know why people send their kids to an expensive private school, since it really shouldn't be to gain admission to an Ivy. Let's face it, these schools do not want to fill their classes with private school kids, they just don't. It's like the age old debate about UVA taking less qualified kids from Northern Virginia. There are folks on here who think this is a myth but it's absolutely true, because they could fill their entire first year class with NOVA kids, but they want kids from ALL over the country and world with varied backgrounds. It's the same problem with private school kids applying to Ivy's and other T20 schools. Some kid who is qualified is going to be on the losing side of this battle, so you need to be sure they have a wide range of schools that are actually realistic because the private school isn't doing you any favors.

It didn’t occur to you that folks send their kids to private school for reasons other than college admissions? I love the education my now college freshman got in private!!! College is easy for her because she really learned to analyze and write. For her, the small classes made a huge difference and are similar to her classes at her SLAC.

I’m not saying public school is a bad education. Of course not. I’m saying that the type of education offered in some private schools works better for some kids, like mine. And I’m happy I can afford it. And it has nothing to do with getting in to college. More about being able to function once you get to college.

and I never said it was bad to go to private school, just bad to feel entitled that your kids is getting into top colleges as a result.

[Anonymous]

I call B.S. you wrote that you and your husband went to "ivy's". If you really had, you would have used proper grammar and spelled it correctly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP it's a numbers game... i don't personally know why people send their kids to an expensive private school, since it really shouldn't be to gain admission to an Ivy. Let's face it, these schools do not want to fill their classes with private school kids, they just don't. It's like the age old debate about UVA taking less qualified kids from Northern Virginia. There are folks on here who think this is a myth but it's absolutely true, because they could fill their entire first year class with NOVA kids, but they want kids from ALL over the country and world with varied backgrounds. It's the same problem with private school kids applying to Ivy's and other T20 schools. Some kid who is qualified is going to be on the losing side of this battle, so you need to be sure they have a wide range of schools that are actually realistic because the private school isn't doing you any favors.

It didn’t occur to you that folks send their kids to private school for reasons other than college admissions? I love the education my now college freshman got in private!!! College is easy for her because she really learned to analyze and write. For her, the small classes made a huge difference and are similar to her classes at her SLAC.

I’m not saying public school is a bad education. Of course not. I’m saying that the type of education offered in some private schools works better for some kids, like mine. And I’m happy I can afford it. And it has nothing to do with getting in to college. More about being able to function once you get to college.

and I never said it was bad to go to private school, just bad to feel entitled that your kids is getting into top colleges as a result.

I for sure do not feel entitled. There are plenty of kids at my daughter’s college that went to public. TBH, my daughter would probably have gotten into a “better” school had she gone to public because she would have finished higher in the class (she went to public middle so we pretty much know who was in the high school class). At private, she was ranked against high scoring kids from all around the area, so it is harder to be at the top of the class.

I never thought private would get her into better schools. She went for the education and some unique offerings at her private school, not for some incorrectly perceived college advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call B.S. you wrote that you and your husband went to "ivy's". If you really had, you would have used proper grammar and spelled it correctly.

OP again I was typing fast and yes I know it's IVIES. It was a TYPO. I promise I know how to spell. I also know how to spell SNARKY. If you have nothing helpful to contribute please refrain from commenting.

I was asking for actually parents at Big 3, Big 5 whatever schools whose kids are feeling stressed out due to the pressure cooler atmosphere at these schools. Also I wanted to hear from other parents who may have gone to more highly ranked schools than their kids can aim for in 2020, to hear their comment and their thoughts or advice, so in other words,I was not looking to hear from you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was asking for actually parents at Big 3, Big 5 whatever schools whose kids are feeling stressed out due to the pressure cooler atmosphere at these schools.

Interesting, as a poster in a recent thread about "Thrivers" claimed that private schools were much less stressful for kids: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/967617.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at the data on Naviance to see the fraction of the recent classes at each tier (hypsm, other ivies, then the rest of Usnwr t30 plus 4 slacs).

Try to figure out where in the class DC ranks. (This is hard to do now without class ranking data but you need to make a guesstimate.)

This will give you a more realistic estimate of likely outcomes than either “it’s impossible” or “I’m at ___, I’ll get in.”

Just keep in mind some of those admits will be athletes, URM, and legacy

We’ve been over this already. The fraction of a Big 3 class that’s good enough to get recruited is very small. (Hint — if you’re good enough to get recruited, then you’re dominating your current level of competition.)

Legacy isn’t worth very much.

URM you can probably figure out. Just adjust your estimate of your class rank to account for this.

This is not true. Ten STA recruited athletes this year in a class of 75. Most D3 not D1 and not nationally notable or ranked. This is a typical year.

PP likely meant D1 when they said "recruited".