My son keeps getting fouled by his friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

It's usually the overweight, out of shape kids that slide tackle or pull the red card moves. They can't keep up and skills usually aren't on par so they have no other recourse but to foul.

fatties like to foul.

My U15 son's team played a team that had one fat girl on the team. She couldn't keep up so she would go in and dirty slide tackle the boys, foul atrociously---because she was a girl the boys weren't giving it to her back.

I told my son f*ck that. If she is going to be on the field, she is fair game. When I played with the boys, I expected to be treated the same. If I was going to be a fouling douche, I deserved to be fouled back. The problem is parents and teams won't do this. EQUALITY.

This is why girls should not play with or against boys after U12 in anything other than scrimmaging or co-ed rec soccer. The boys are in a no-win situation. They are all taught not to hit a girl and then the girls come in hard on them. The boys (at least most of them) won't retaliate or be as physical back to the girls though. It makes for a dangerous situation and the game play is diminished. I'm not saying girls aren't as fast or skilled or anything like that. It's just a dynamic that doesn't work in anyone's favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

It's usually the overweight, out of shape kids that slide tackle or pull the red card moves. They can't keep up and skills usually aren't on par so they have no other recourse but to foul.

fatties like to foul.

My U15 son's team played a team that had one fat girl on the team. She couldn't keep up so she would go in and dirty slide tackle the boys, foul atrociously---because she was a girl the boys weren't giving it to her back.

I told my son f*ck that. If she is going to be on the field, she is fair game. When I played with the boys, I expected to be treated the same. If I was going to be a fouling douche, I deserved to be fouled back. The problem is parents and teams won't do this. EQUALITY.

This is why girls should not play with or against boys after U12 in anything other than scrimmaging or co-ed rec soccer. The boys are in a no-win situation. They are all taught not to hit a girl and then the girls come in hard on them. The boys (at least most of them) won't retaliate or be as physical back to the girls though. It makes for a dangerous situation and the game play is diminished. I'm not saying girls aren't as fast or skilled or anything like that. It's just a dynamic that doesn't work in anyone's favor.

We have one on our U13 team who is a fantastic and aggressive player. However, the boys have so much better chemistry of late and play better without her. The last few games she couldn't make it our boys beat the 2 top teams and it was a heartfelt aggressive game. When she's in (she's a starter) there isn't that chemistry. It's hard to describe. I think she is at the point she really should phase onto an all-girl team She could make any of the top girls' teams in the area. This isn't the 1980s when I played and we had to sometimes find a boys' team to get that competitive edge. Plus--the last few games were horribly physical and we were playing man-boys that look like they were 17. The disparity for her (fully grown/not terribly tall) will be even greater next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

It's usually the overweight, out of shape kids that slide tackle or pull the red card moves. They can't keep up and skills usually aren't on par so they have no other recourse but to foul.

fatties like to foul.

My U15 son's team played a team that had one fat girl on the team. She couldn't keep up so she would go in and dirty slide tackle the boys, foul atrociously---because she was a girl the boys weren't giving it to her back.

I told my son f*ck that. If she is going to be on the field, she is fair game. When I played with the boys, I expected to be treated the same. If I was going to be a fouling douche, I deserved to be fouled back. The problem is parents and teams won't do this. EQUALITY.

This is why girls should not play with or against boys after U12 in anything other than scrimmaging or co-ed rec soccer. The boys are in a no-win situation. They are all taught not to hit a girl and then the girls come in hard on them. The boys (at least most of them) won't retaliate or be as physical back to the girls though. It makes for a dangerous situation and the game play is diminished. I'm not saying girls aren't as fast or skilled or anything like that. It's just a dynamic that doesn't work in anyone's favor.

We have one on our U13 team who is a fantastic and aggressive player. However, the boys have so much better chemistry of late and play better without her. The last few games she couldn't make it our boys beat the 2 top teams and it was a heartfelt aggressive game. When she's in (she's a starter) there isn't that chemistry. It's hard to describe. I think she is at the point she really should phase onto an all-girl team She could make any of the top girls' teams in the area. This isn't the 1980s when I played and we had to sometimes find a boys' team to get that competitive edge. Plus--the last few games were horribly physical and we were playing man-boys that look like they were 17. The disparity for her (fully grown/not terribly tall) will be even greater next year.

That sucks. I don't know why parents do that to their kids. So much of the fun of sports is the camaraderie on the team. Seems like you'd take a lot of that away when you're putting a girl on a boys team. As a female, I would've hated that. Plus, the physical disparities will soon catch up to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

It's usually the overweight, out of shape kids that slide tackle or pull the red card moves. They can't keep up and skills usually aren't on par so they have no other recourse but to foul.

fatties like to foul.

My U15 son's team played a team that had one fat girl on the team. She couldn't keep up so she would go in and dirty slide tackle the boys, foul atrociously---because she was a girl the boys weren't giving it to her back.

I told my son f*ck that.

You did? That doesn't seem like good advice for lots of reasons...

It was post-game and I'm female, btw. It was disgusting to watch. She just kept going in behind and hacking knees and ankles and sliding out feet from behind. This can result in torn knee and ankle injuries. The ref wouldn't call anything on her and the boys wouldn't do anything because she was female. I have no problem with that advice. If you are going to play with the big boys, expect to be treated like one.

My comment was intended to be a crude joke - not a genuine criticism of your advice.

[Anonymous]

Well......???What happened?? What was the result??
What did you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

At U12 a kid on our team held the kid who was fouling in practice up against the fence and told him to stop. He stopped.

If he is smaller than the fouling kid, tell your son to step on his food hard when he is near him. The coach or even Refs never see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well......???What happened?? What was the result??
What did you do?

I'm the OP. What happened is that I have enjoyed reading this thread. Especially that I'm a sandwich short of a picnic.

We haven't had another practice yet. My advice to my kid is just to start by speaking up directly but strongly (yell) to his friend "WTF Lazlo! stop doing that. It hurts" every time it happens. And for my son (not me) to bring it up to the coach next time it happens "Lazlo keeps fouling me!".

We'll see if this works. If not, I'll have my son watch some videos of Eric Cantona or Roy Keane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family conference with his family. Be stern.

Yes. This is the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family conference with his family. Be stern.

Yes. This is the answer.

No. This is definitely not the answer. His family doesn't want to hear it from you.

[Anonymous]

Could be the friend is more comfortable being physical with his friend, could be there’s an underlying issue in their friendship. Best thing is to talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family conference with his family. Be stern.

Yes. This is the answer.

No. This is definitely not the answer. His family doesn't want to hear it from you.

If a parent was being stern with me blah maybe I’ll listen. If my kid is part of it I would immediately end the “conference”; if persisted I’d get “more stern”. Definitely a bad call

[Anonymous]

You need to put your kid in martial art class so if/when a fight occurs, your kid can beat up the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be the friend is more comfortable being physical with his friend, could be there’s an underlying issue in their friendship. Best thing is to talk.

Dr. Phil is here. Yes, talking always works. Be sure and "be stern" during the talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear this was a thread from last year. Same exact topic. Probably made up, but assuming it isn't - have your kid land on the other kids ankle after a slide tackle. Hard. Try to break it if possible Then stand over the kid look down at him and say, you do that again and I'll put you in the dang cemetery.

Story as old as time.

Same ending, justice by fighting back.

Kid will keep doing it until yours and others take him out to teach him they won’t tolerate it. Sane thing older players do in a game to a dirty player. Set the time early or they’ll keep doing it to you.

Frankly this is what needs to happen at a national level too.

People like McConnell and Stephen Miller and Steve King and punks like Rand Paul are just like the kid who fouls.

Parents (tut-tutting about norms) aren’t going to change anything.
You just have to hit them back harder until they learn they can’t get away with what they’re doing.

I swear, it’s like the national Democratic leaders have never played a sporting event against a bully. Stopping them is easy. It just requires being willing to hit back a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be the friend is more comfortable being physical with his friend, could be there’s an underlying issue in their friendship. Best thing is to talk.

Dr. Phil is here. Yes, talking always works. Be sure and "be stern" during the talk.

“But Mr. McConnell, we really don’t like you stealing Merrick Garland’s SCOTUS seat. And if you steal it, we are DEFINITELY going to insist you follow this rule again for the next president at the end of their term.”

McConnell: <steals a seat for Barrett. Laughs.>

National Dems: “We’re telling our parents!!”


No. To beat bullies you go after them aggressively until they learn you won’t tolerate their crap.