My son keeps getting fouled by his friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

I won’t lie. I’ve always taught my kids that if they get hit they need to hit back and THEN tel the teacher what happened. I was never raised to get hit and tell the teacher first. So I taught them the same thing in sports. No one really messes with them because they know it comes full circle. But if it gets really bad — like breaking a leg bad— id say tell the coach, but also tell your kid to foul him back from time to time haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

Yep slide tackling dangerous for everyone involved. My kid was pretty skilled so got a lot of tackles till she figured out how to land on the tackler. Some kids think it is fun to tackle till they start paying a price for each tackle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

Wait - so this is in practice, and the coach corrects the kid. You don't think he's doing it intentionally, just lacks some skills. And you want to talk to the kid's parents? What would you say? "Bob, hate to bring this up, but you nwo little Bobby sucks, right? Can you please tell him to get better immediately so he stops fouling darling Larlo?" You're nuts.

Also, the fact that you feel the need to explain what "tit for tat" is makes me think you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Who the hell slides tackle a teammate in practice at age 10? Total bush league. Sounds like kid wasn't taught how to play proper defense - move your friggin' feet.

I'd tell my DS to curb stomp the kid with his cleat if they kept pulling that crap.

It's usually the overweight, out of shape kids that slide tackle or pull the red card moves. They can't keep up and skills usually aren't on par so they have no other recourse but to foul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound kind of crazy. No, you should not do any of those things, particularly step 2 or 3. Why don't you just bring it up to the coach? Or have your son speak to his friend himself?

+1 All of this.

+2

None of your ideas are good!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

You only think they are friends. They are frienemies. And it is undoubtedly intentional. It is passive aggressive behavior by a kid, probably because his parents keep comparing him negatively to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

You only think they are friends. They are frienemies. And it is undoubtedly intentional. It is passive aggressive behavior by a kid, probably because his parents keep comparing him negatively to your kid.

And definitely tell him to figure this one out himself. And don’t tell him not to foul the other kid. Leave it up to him and let the kids sort it out on the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

You only think they are friends. They are frienemies. And it is undoubtedly intentional. It is passive aggressive behavior by a kid, probably because his parents keep comparing him negatively to your kid.

lol what a bizarre assumption

[Anonymous]

Until he slide tackles you stay in your lane. When your son has had enough he will handle his business. end of story.

[Anonymous]

Your kid can complain to the coach, your kid can tell off the other kid, your kid can foul the other kid back--any of that is more acceptable than you talking to the coach or, God forbid, talking to the parents. Take a step back and realize how crazy this sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

Back in the day I would have stamped extremely hard on his ankle after a slide tackle. At age 10 your son probably won't break anything but he should be able to stamp hard enough that the other kid can't walk for a day or two. That should do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

You only think they are friends. They are frienemies. And it is undoubtedly intentional. It is passive aggressive behavior by a kid, probably because his parents keep comparing him negatively to your kid.

lol what a bizarre assumption

I saw it all the time growing up and again with my sons as they have played multiple sports. This is quite common, at least among boys, many of whom quickly age out of “friendships” like this and into others that are more of their own choosing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wise people of this forum, what would you do?

My son is 10. His friend on the same team fouls my son almost every time they go against each other. Hard fouls, often slide tackles or tackles from behind. He also fouls other kids, but my son is hit most often. I don't think this kid is being purposefully mean, he is just very aggressive on defense but lacks control of his body, so he fouls. But my son gets hit often and could get hurt. The coach often intervenes and tells this kid to take it easy and avoid fouling, but he is back at it soon after. What would you do?

1. Tell my son to suck it up and keep playing. I think this is the right approach for a one-time missed called or foul, but I don't think that my son should just accept a repeated pattern of fouling from this (or any) kid.
2. Talk to his parents. This is probably the mature thing to do. Would you be receptive if somebody said this about your kid?
3. Teach my son to foul him back... there is this very effective strategy in game theory called tit for tat. Basically you start being nice to everybody but you mimic the way they treat you: if someone is mean to you, you retaliate. I don't want to encourage my son to foul his friend, but I remember when I was a kid this was a very effective strategy to stop someone from fouling me on the pitch.

We like the team a lot, so we will not consider switching teams because of this. What would you do?

Back in the day I would have stamped extremely hard on his ankle after a slide tackle. At age 10 your son probably won't break anything but he should be able to stamp hard enough that the other kid can't walk for a day or two. That should do the trick.

Or just kick him in the head.

[Anonymous]

I swear this was a thread from last year. Same exact topic. Probably made up, but assuming it isn't - have your kid land on the other kids ankle after a slide tackle. Hard. Try to break it if possible Then stand over the kid look down at him and say, you do that again and I'll put you in the dang cemetery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start fouling him back. And other kids should start fouling him back also.

That kid needs to be flattened.

Play pick up to get used to dirty play where playground justice rules.

I still giggle when I took my kids to the pick up park In Arlington and some kid around age 7 kept doing that to everyone. It was mixed ages all the way up to middle school. The older kids were getting frustrated but couldn’t take out a little kid...enter my youngest son around age 5. The older kids told him he had to be the one to do it. He went in hard PIA kid was flattened and immediately stopped his hacking/fouling. His own mother told him in Spanish he deserved it.

Your son needs to tell him to cut the sh@t and if he doesn’t, he needs to take him down hard.