Tell me about divorcing with children under 10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too bad. I divorced when the kids were 4 and 6, got a live in nanny, and my life became much more pleasant. Oh, and I remarried two years later.

That sounds really quick.

+1

+2. Sounds really quick with kids and many adjustments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were 6 and 9. There were rough patches. We needed emergency protection. There was a phase of supervised access visits, and then they stopped seeing him, which has been ongoing for close to four years.

Things are mostly happy and peaceful, our home is a nice comfortable place and I can't believe how much of life we can actually live now. You don't really realize when you're in it, but when you leave, and find good therapy for you, and just focus on healing for awhile, and enjoy the calm, everything really is worth it. My kids are highly empathetic wise people who unfortunately had to experience some really hard stuff. But they learned a lot of resilience, and finding their voice, and self worth through it all too.

NP here. How is it possible for some fathers to check out and basically phase out contact with their children? I have seen plenty of this even with dads who wanted kids very much and were adamant that they would take good care of them. As a mom, I could not go even for even two weeks without seeing my kid.

Guy: 50:50 custody with young kids. I can see why some guys check out. The ‘deck’ is stacked against you in many ways.

What? You have 50:50 and that is the norm. ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were 6 and 9. There were rough patches. We needed emergency protection. There was a phase of supervised access visits, and then they stopped seeing him, which has been ongoing for close to four years.

Things are mostly happy and peaceful, our home is a nice comfortable place and I can't believe how much of life we can actually live now. You don't really realize when you're in it, but when you leave, and find good therapy for you, and just focus on healing for awhile, and enjoy the calm, everything really is worth it. My kids are highly empathetic wise people who unfortunately had to experience some really hard stuff. But they learned a lot of resilience, and finding their voice, and self worth through it all too.

NP here. How is it possible for some fathers to check out and basically phase out contact with their children? I have seen plenty of this even with dads who wanted kids very much and were adamant that they would take good care of them. As a mom, I could not go even for even two weeks without seeing my kid.

Guy: 50:50 custody with young kids. I can see why some guys check out. The ‘deck’ is stacked against you in many ways.

What? You have 50:50 and that is the norm. ???

Not the guy PP, but yes 50/50 is the norm in many states, including VA. Where have you been? Get with the times. Divorce in no way looks like it did 20 or more years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not too bad. I divorced when the kids were 4 and 6, got a live in nanny, and my life became much more pleasant. Oh, and I remarried two years later.

That sounds really quick.

+1

+2. Sounds really quick with kids and many adjustments.

Outsource!

Throw money at it!

Schools handle it! Au pairs handle it! Other parent does all the planning and booking!

Easy peasy. Just do Fun Time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My twins were almost 7. My ex moved out and into a house down the street so the kids don't have to be shuttled between neighborhoods on a schedule. They seem to be taking it very well, and they are 9 now.

Adult child of divorce here, and while you don’t necessarily need to live on the same street or neighborhood, living close enough will make a huge quality of life difference for your kids. I have stories, as do many other ACOD, of having to spend enormous amounts of time traveling between two parents who chose to live far apart (like 5 hrs), and they are not happy healthy adjustment stories of children who felt like they were still being put first despite the divorce.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine blowing up my kids’ life because of this. It doesn’t even sound like you’ve tried anything yet, OP. Lord the casual attitude about divorce on here is nuts. It is not without deep consequences for your kids as unpopular as that is to say.