I have a terrible fear of dying young and leaving my kids behind before they grow up

[Anonymous]

I have these thoughts, OP, because one of my dearest friends lost her DH and then died herself a few years later, leaving behind three kids. Thank goodness she had a great family to step in.

Whenever anxiety is creeping up on me, I try to focus on the beautiful things right in front of me. I hug my kids. I turn up the song on the radio and sing in the car or dance at home. I go for a walk and enjoy nature. Something that gives me joy. I focus on what I can control (taking care of myself), tell my kids I love them every day, and try to enjoy the good of the now.

[Anonymous]

I was in a car accident where someone else's child was killed.

So I'm afraid of the opposite...I can re-edit my will to death so that their 'taken of.' But I still don't know how parents cope with a Childs death, or how I would ever...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if anxiety meds would help me, but I have to assume that the occasional thoughts that can keep me up at night or move me to tears are not necessarily indicative of an *actual* anxiety disorder, right? I'm open to being wrong, butt I guess I kind of assumed this is just part of parenting.

It’s not just a part of parenting, it’s anxiety. And the anxiety makes you think it’s totally normal and rational.

I have thought about something happening to me because we had to creat a will and name guardians. The chance that it will actually happen is extremely low, so other than that I don’t think about it. It definitely doesn’t keep me awake at night or bring me to tears.

Also, I have two good friends who lost their spouse and left left to raise young kids. They kids are ok (more than ok, but I don’t want to minimize that they had trauma). If something were to happen to me, my kids will also be ok.

Even if DH and I both die, we have family who will step in. They will loved and cared for - it won’t be us, but it’s a lot more than many kids have, and I still believe they will be ok.

I do have things I worry about - my kids have special needs - but they are usually things that are fairly concrete (am I doing everything I can to support my dyslexic child to read?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See you doctor and get a prescription for anxiety. Seriously.

It’s normal to sometimes worry about dying before your kids grow up. But when it starts interfering with daily life, it’s time to get medication or treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if anxiety meds would help me, but I have to assume that the occasional thoughts that can keep me up at night or move me to tears are not necessarily indicative of an *actual* anxiety disorder, right? I'm open to being wrong, butt I guess I kind of assumed this is just part of parenting.

It’s not just a part of parenting, it’s anxiety. And the anxiety makes you think it’s totally normal and rational.

I have thought about something happening to me because we had to creat a will and name guardians. The chance that it will actually happen is extremely low, so other than that I don’t think about it. It definitely doesn’t keep me awake at night or bring me to tears.

Also, I have two good friends who lost their spouse and left left to raise young kids. They kids are ok (more than ok, but I don’t want to minimize that they had trauma). If something were to happen to me, my kids will also be ok.

Even if DH and I both die, we have family who will step in. They will loved and cared for - it won’t be us, but it’s a lot more than many kids have, and I still believe they will be ok.

I do have things I worry about - my kids have special needs - but they are usually things that are fairly concrete (am I doing everything I can to support my dyslexic child to read?).

I agree with this. Maybe it’s the Prozac talking but I consider myself a pretty anxious person and I don’t worry or cry at all about this.